Miscellaneous: Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives...

By RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

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Miscellaneous

This Charming Man

Mix and match

Long term commitment

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Warwick

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Macomb

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

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26638

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By sunny_funny - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

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7776

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By SterlingSilver91 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

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28082

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By thanksfyi - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

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38476

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By jayden5 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

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34259

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By eliteslayer29 - United States

Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/5/2021 08:01 - Norway - Trondheim

Bad timing

Today, I just came out of a two-year long depression. I'm finally starting to feel normal, so of course I get a message that my grandmother might have less than a year to live. FML

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By Anonymous - Finland

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

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By NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus - Canada - Toronto

Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML

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14549

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By The Bearded Woman - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

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32834

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By Phil - France

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

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25341

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By kmthomas91

Stinky

Today, after coming home, my apartment reeked of something fierce. Small animals frequently like to crawl under my apartment since I live next to a wooded area. Apparently, skunks are among those who like to visit, and Febreze isn't helping. FML

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1438

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111

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By Coffee

Today, I went to Starbucks to get my free birthday coffee and due to a mistake I received two. Thinking it was my lucky day, I hurried off to work. As I was walking in, I tripped and spilt one coffee all over my new dress. Then I walked into a door and spilt the other. FML

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By ex-wife - United States - Boston

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML

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4517

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By tigerfiend - United States

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47616

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By Angry and Confused - United States - Reno

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

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53029

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By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

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By betrayed - United States - Portland

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

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61341

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By Al - United States

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

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By sydcaller618 - United States - Richmond

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

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23857

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By confusing - Zimbabwe

Artistry

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

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By oops123 - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

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By j - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

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By cheaterscheat - United States - Saint James

Today, I went to the hospital due to extreme sickness. My boyfriend saw this as an opportune time to take another girl out since I was "otherwise preoccupied." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

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By DocDog

Today, my grandmother threatened to write me out of her will because I refused to believe that dogs can perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre. FML

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4614

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By JLO - Australia

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my Mum and Dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

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By battle1 - United States - Marietta

Creepy

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

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By This_Is_Me1982 - Canada

Today, I found out that my friend makes more money than I do. She's a high school dropout and working at a retail job at the mall. I went to college for four years to get my job. FML

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By inboxbuddies - Saudi Arabia

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

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By Ashley Youngman

Today, I spent five minutes shaking a bowl of Jello because it looked cool. FML

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1009

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By heartbrokenhaley - United States - Brockton

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

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53562

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By parkingisawesome - United States

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

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30970

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2021 01:01 - United States - Atoka

Leave spiders alone

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

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169

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By AlwaysAwkward - United States - Strongsville

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

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By ramble ramble - United States - Monroe

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

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42721

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By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Diego

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

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By dangerZone - United States - Statesboro

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

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Top comments

By Camillams | 2

#3211031 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:56

That's cruel

By rubyjames | 3

#3211069 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:03

"hey guys come quick!!! my niece is having a panic attack in my bathroom!!" wtf

COMMENTS

By Camillams | 2

#3211031 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:56

That's cruel

Eggers | 2

#3211170 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:41

Yet still quite hilarious

genesisnirvana | 11

#3211274 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:04

Is there any video of this anguish and embarrassment?

imjuicygossip | 0

#3211392 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:36

I feel ur pain...

Jovecove | 13

#3211525 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:14

Sorry op, that must suck but tbh, it's hilarious!

coffeygirl12 | 14

#3211644 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:59

That's terrible...but really funny.

gojira666 | 7

#3215759 - Thursday 1 September 2011 10:55

You might be a redneck if....

andrekrivo | 20

#5733581 - Tuesday 29 October 2013 4:07

what is there to panic about?

By RawrNom | 0

#3211047 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:58

celotape them to a wall and then laugh and point and see how they like it? i feel for you aha

By afdude87 | 6

#3211051 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:59

just leave an upper decker, that'll teach em.

Eggers | 2

#3211179 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:42

I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it sounds gross

Burnbaby | 0

#3211522 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:14

Hey Eggers it means shit in the water tank of the toilet. Very gross, but I think they deserve it.

By fatman1970 | 25

#3211053 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 11:59

That's a shitty thing for them to do! :-)

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#3211586 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:34

Just like your pun?

By rubyjames | 3

#3211069 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:03

"hey guys come quick!!! my niece is having a panic attack in my bathroom!!" wtf

Sonic_boomerang | 5

#3211779 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 15:57

Your current pic goes so well with that comment

rubyjames | 3

#3212122 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 16:52

hahahahahahahaha thank you. kind of

By slick5880 | 22

#3211084 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:08

Who brought the popcorn?

By DjeePee | 24

#3211105 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:16

You forgot to mention that one of your relatives filmed it and posted your panick attack on YouTube. Honestly, that's terrible.

Legendslayer222 | 26

#3211310 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 13:12

If so, I kind of want that link!

By itsalanis | 24

#3211113 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:20

what kind of family is that? they need to learn whats funny and whats not...

By lexex1 | 4

#3211140 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:33

Take a dump in your hand, kick down the door and run out throwing it at all of them.

By stevenmx86 | 7

#3211172 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:41

Ydi for having a panic attack caused by getting locked in a toilet... Jeez, calm down...

BlckIvie6xoxo9 | 0

#3211202 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 12:51

She may have had a panic attack from being in a small space. Claustrophobia is no joke to people suffer with it.

cindayy77 | 0

#3211520 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:13

And she could've only had her panic attack because she was locked in, she might have Anxiety, you never know, so don't judge people right from the start.