By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 248
You deserved it 20 358

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Top comments

I have to stop reading fmls while eating

sirhobothesecond 3

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.


UrLyfSuxx 0

Caterpillars ARE nasty. I had to read this FML once more to understand it.

briandunlikelmo 0

... Cockblocked by your underwear!

leogirl95 12

You've learned your lesson...never wear new cheap black underwear out.

YDI for being lazy and not washing them before you wore them.

I'd say that would've been a bit of fun.

gunmania0 12

I thought op was gonna say,'unfortunately I decided to wear my black lacy thong!'

27 better yet he shouldn't wear underwear at all. Underwear is overrated anyways.

I'm fuzzy and I know it

Muslimgal92 0

What does caterpillar mean?

74 = Fail Troll.

74- A black penis.

I next time don't be so cheap and you might get laid

dsbs 9

You get what you pay for

baby_dee97 8

When I first read this I accidentally skipped the second to last line. Then I thought, " Well if you're calling your dick a probably shouldn't get laid." LOL

Sounds like a turn-on to me

Your comment sounds like a thumb down to me

^And yours sounds like a thumbs up! :)

ShroomsOnAcid 16

I don't know what you guys are smoking but I don't hear anything.

Says "ShroomsOnAcid". Maybe it's you who needs to lay off the drugs..

And maybe you need to try more drugs. It can go both ways my sober friend.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Oh 88, you are so funni. Pointing out my name like that and all.

54- WIN.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Maybe she has a weird fleshy caterpillar fetish?

Well, he says he didn't get lucky, so I doubt it.

I have to stop reading fmls while eating

Thats why i always read them while in the bathroom. U guys didnt need to know that......

sickjairo 7

The fibers got stuck to it because you were wet man.

meganfoxsbitch 0

This sounds like an fml for her!! Today I almost f****d a guy with a caterpillar for a penis..

TrixER 6

Cockblocked by his own dick

Julieannx3 9


danielreader22 4

Thank you for that insightful comment.

Wait... I thought black underwear ment you weren't a virgin....

markrs 0

White underwear means you're pure. Cream underwear means you're tainted. Black underwear means you're a freak in the sheets ;p

What about red?

sirhobothesecond 3

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.

flockz 19

and ones with dick patterns on it usually mean you're gay.

well what about blue and green?

Chershire2012-- Thats just nasty You sick fuck

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Rainbow undies?

briandunlikelmo 0

rainbow undies=gay?

nerdpower_fml 1

47 - nope, that means you're a Rastafarian

HetaliaFreak 10

Granny panties?

HannahPaloozah 0

48- only red yellow and green would be a Rastafarian

jessesgirl14 16

22- red panties mean you stole them from the store because your mom wouldn't buy them for you because they were satan's panties!

Llama_Face89 33

67- WOW! That's an OLD one! Nice reference. :P

Haha, that was a good movie XD

Lol, you always make things hilarious.

67- I remember that quote from a movie, but not sure which one. What was it? :)

I remember, Miss Congeniality! I love that movie! :D

You can't pull your life.

What does that even mean?

Did the fruit guys teach you nothing?

Why did it send mine twice?

Did the fruit guys teach you nothing?

BayleeWasHere 1


They were my math tutors

What kind of penis shaped caterpillars have u got in the U.K?

juturnaamo 29

They don't circumcise.

"you probably thought this was a caterpillar.....No! Just Chuck Testa."

ShroomsOnAcid 16

"You probably thought this penis was alive...Nooope its just Chuck Testa!" *pops out in between legs*


perdix 29

I see an Eric Carle picture book coming out of this story, "The Angry Caterpillar with Blue Balls." Hopefully, the kids won't ask why the caterpillar has only one eye and bulging veins (insects don't have circulatory systems.)

josejimenez 0


perdix 29

Just because I choose to save it doesn't mean I haven't had chances to lose it. Ok, I haven't had chances to lose it, but you couldn't have inferred that from my comment :(

117 - Jealous?