Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML
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By
CheesecakeTaco
| 3
Purple nurple'ed by an umbrella. Thats a new one.
By
ManInTheMachine
| 19
Why was the umbrella that close to your body to begin with? I usually hold it out in front of me, not right against my chest.
COMMENTS
By
ManInTheMachine
| 19
Why was the umbrella that close to your body to begin with? I usually hold it out in front of me, not right against my chest.
Reply
qr_fml
| 21
Lmao she's an idiot
Reply
eggmarie
| 25
If you close your finger in the metal part it pinches so I'm assuming that's what happened.
How she got her nipple in there is a real head scratcher though.
How she got her nipple in there is a real head scratcher though.
Reply
ygdrassil
| 17
Maybe OP has one of those umbrellas that you have to push shut so it telescopes back to the compact size and used his chest to push it against. Or maybe Japan doesn't require the same level of umbrella nipple safety as other countries with a stronger titty lobby.
Reply
ihatethesenamez
| 6
Only in Japan
Reply
Pigeon89
| 34
Maybe OP has those nipples that are really long O_o
Reply
outoftown
| 26
Method 53 said. I learned to hold it away by bruising my breast doing the same thing. Mistake you make only once. OK, maybe twice. *blush*
By
that1guyyy
| 12
You're such a big,stupid boob.
Reply
chilearmy123
| 4
Op are u a guy or a girl haha
Reply
PunkySpunky78
| 15
Maybe if the op is a she then she might have big boobs
Reply
linkinpark98
| 23
Not all women are a DD....
By
CheesecakeTaco
| 3
Purple nurple'ed by an umbrella. Thats a new one.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
Don't you close umbrellas out away from your body OP? Who closes them close to the body? Because as you know know purple nurples from umbrellas can hurt. Haha. Sucks to be you OP.
Reply
lopsop
| 12
50 Wait what? You've been purple nurpled by an umbrella?
Reply
shayshayshazam
| 14
Agreed. There are just so many BETTER ways to be purple nurpled...
Wait.
Wait.
Reply
codyjohn17
| 5
Who the hell remembers how purple nurpled was invented???
By
KrazieKleo
| 13
What the shit titties?!?!
Reply
akg98
| 13
It BALL TITTIES lol
Reply
EvilCupcake8361
| 9
This thread is ball titties
By
icrest80
| 4
My nipples are always hard
Reply
perdix
| 29
You may want to oil them. The best choices are:
1. Olive oil
2. Cocoa butter
3. WD40
1. Olive oil
2. Cocoa butter
3. WD40
Reply
icrest80
| 4
Thanks perdix you da man!
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Psst, perdix you forgot to say:
1. (no longer- Extra Virgin) Olive oil.
1. (no longer- Extra Virgin) Olive oil.
Reply
perdix
| 29
I didn't forget, I just give out good general info to the crowd, but save the esoteric wisdom for those I like the best.
For you, cold-first-expeller-pressed, "so virgin that it has never even kissed a boy" olive oil. That will get your nipples soft as butter during normal times and allow them to really pop when excited. Let's keep that tip between you and me ;)
For you, cold-first-expeller-pressed, "so virgin that it has never even kissed a boy" olive oil. That will get your nipples soft as butter during normal times and allow them to really pop when excited. Let's keep that tip between you and me ;)
Reply
animal50199
| 10
This is definitely a TMI moment.
By
astoryofroses
| 9
claim it's a hickey?
Reply
KBeatz
| 5
Why would OP be showing off their bruised nipple anyway? Don't need an excuse if you're not going to be flashing people
Reply
greenishyellow
| 5
Unless OP has multiple partners and they are all ok with it, saying it's a hickey is going to make his/her partner be very suspicious...
By
psycomikey16
| 0
How the hell?????
Reply
yahoowizard
| 16
Maybe he/she wasn't wearing clothes?
Reply
perdix
| 29
Usually, I'm curious about the details of FML stories, but I can leave this one a mystery. Did I mention my hypersensitve nipples?
Reply
writergirl23
| 19
Probably op did it somehow right thru their clothes
By
ryggsekk
| 8
what? and how? #1 when you don't have enough space to do it that way you explain, the umbrella is closer to you and then it can come in contact with your body. but getting bruise is what im wondering about
By
perdix
| 29
That would would never happen to me!
I have very sensitive nipples and an exceptionally high tolerance against embarrassment from doing stupid things. I'd prefer to get wet than handle an umbrella that presents a high nippular hazard!
I have very sensitive nipples and an exceptionally high tolerance against embarrassment from doing stupid things. I'd prefer to get wet than handle an umbrella that presents a high nippular hazard!
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
I will find you, and twist your nipples. Locking onto your location now.
By
Wederoney
| 16
You've got two hands, right? So why the hell would you close an umbrella on your nipple?
Reply
flipfloperson
| 5
Are you suggesting that it would be acceptable for OP to use his/her nipple to close an umbrella if OP only had one hand?
Reply
nikkon416
| 13
To see what it felt like.