So hard you became completely red! Haha sounds fun!

Maybe the people that believe him are colorblind

"I'm giving you the D whether you want it or not, bitch."
Signed, the Sun. ;p

Today I learned Vitamin D comes from the sun!

No one like or dislike #32..... Perfect number

67- Should I be flattered or weirded out that you like seeing me at a 69? ;P

He's just trying to make light of the situation, no need to be so burned up about it OP.

P.S. Get some aloe and put it in a ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer. Once done take out and rub over body - instant relief.

Just agree with what he says.

Why, because he claims to be a wizard?! I'm not falling for that trick ever again...

Guess you got burned on that deal. Next time he wants to play soccer in between your goal posts, tell him you're too sore from the last time.

Just go with it shesh

As a ginger, I understand your pain

So your boyfriend is telling everybody he gave it to you so hard your hair turned red? Haha.

I'm sure they mean because they have pale skin and sunburn easily. I do too, and never tan. I freckle. But the hair turning red thing is funny!

That's a dick move OP. Straighten him out.

Don't exactly know why you got down voted. It's quite offensive to have your SO tell lies about you to boost their rep and ego, especially in front of you. Even if he was just trying to make light of the situation, it sounds more like he was using her to take advantage of it instead. Plus...it's very immature to relay your sex life with your SO to your friends...that counts for bragging about it too. So I agree, it was a dick move and she should indeed 'straighten him out' aka tell him she doesn't appreciate his ill-placed humor. (Because she posted it on fml for a reason right?)

Holy fuck, 56, lighten up.

As for 5, I believe he got buried because he attempted to make a pun that didn't come off as very clever.

To #57: I didn't intend for that to be a pun at all.

Walk it off

And you corroborate his story right? "Yeah, he kept missing with his little dick and continued kneeing me in the thighs. I wish he knew how to use it because size does not really matter".

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Urban Myth at best. :p

Possible rumor you whisper to your friends at the bar?

Strange thought briefly passing through your head.

wait for it...... ARY!! LEGENDARY!!

-- Barney

You have to give him credit for his quick thinking though...

I understand your pain OP. I hope you get better soon! Apply some Aloe to that burn