By Creeped - 27/09/2012 08:19 - United States

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 786
You deserved it 1 807

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Top comments

Tell her you have invisible herpes. Everywhere.

I believe it's time to move, OP.


I believe it's time to move, OP.

Date her daughter to really stir the pot.

It's a good thing shitty neighbors doesn't hurt property value or many of our property investments would be down the toilet.

CrassKal 27

8- I may be wrong, but the use of the word "partner" makes me thing OP might be gay.

Or les! We don't know if OP is a girl or guy.

MagicGiraffe 12

13, the housing market is already down the toilet enough :(

BAMF223 4

Cuckoo cachoo Mrs. Robinson...

Tell her you have invisible herpes. Everywhere.

Haha that'll scare her off. Until she says "me too! We're meant for eachother".

#35- Sneeze AIDS then

Have you tried telling her you have no interest in dating an older woman? :S if that doesn't work, move away from her. Like far away from her.

Or kill her.

I don't think OP's life should get uprooted because a creepy lady bothers them. Moving is a big deal, and there are less drastic ways of dealing with this problem.

There's always a restraining order.

I feel sorry for her daughter...

So true, poor girl :(

HeyArnold91 8

I think a restraint is in order, don't you?

Yeah, on this show called "Nightmare Neighbors" there have been people getting restraining orders for harassment.

'When cougars attack!'

It may be a snow leopard if her daughter is the same age as you.

lovepandorasaver 11

MILF, moms i'd like to forget

perdix 29

I'm guessing she's a MIWFWYD -- a mother I wouldn't fuck with your dick. This term can only be spoken aloud in Wales.

Yeah, but is she HOT? I swear, some of these FMLs deserve to be longer so OP can explain more of the situation. This one is worthless without more information!!

soja_fml 18

Although I agree with you, if she is mentally unstable I don't think it matters if she is hot or not.

Just remember son, no amount of makeup can hide crazy.

perdix 29

Doc, if she were hot, there would be no FML. At least not from the OP's point of view. We might hear if this from the daughter or the girlfriend, but the OP would be bangin' away at the hot MILF in gooey bliss.

A pussy you turn down is one you never get.

perdix 29

#28, nice saying, but not true. The pussy that you turn down will come at you twice as hard next time. You'd better cave quickly because you don't want first-hand experience with "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

CamdenMarie 6

I think you all are missing the part where OP says the woman trash-talks their "partner". So there's a chance OP is gay and isn't interested in the woman, hot or not. A gender identifier would be nice here, and more details.

36- I was wondering if anyone was going to mention that. Of course OP could also be a woman, it doesn't specify.

27 - I don't think it matters if she's hot and of course there is still an FML If she is hot. After all, OP DID say he has a partner... Unless he's a cheat which I know all you FMLers hate, then he still should be posting the FML.

jmoreno 4

Tell her your happy with your life and if she doesn't quit the bs you'll make sure she isn't in it! Be blunt and if need be rude so she can get it through her head

Op, buy some sort of weapon. At this rate, she'll eventually start watching you sleep.