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Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

By CalyenaL - / Sunday 13 May 2012 01:35 / Mexico - Tijuana
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  doonerz  |  0

The Cake Is A Lie

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  zandalee  |  19

What's with the forbidden?!?! What planet is this guy on? Does he actually think he is the boss of you? Time to stand up to this prick long before the birth, or you may just end up completely under his thumb.

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  killatoro  |  2

What's up with women these days, women have beef giving birth without drugs for thousands of years that's a real woman not like now running to get pain meds smfh lol

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  MissMae93  |  23

236 - Clearly you've never pushed a watermelon through your vagina/ass (no idea if you're male or female) with zero lubrication. In the past, women used to blackout due to the amount of pain. Deaths have been recorded due to the extreme pain they used to have to go through. I guess you could say women did survive through natural birth in the past, but if given the option or opportunity to ease the pain with medicine, I'm sure they'd rather the meds.

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  nado13579  |  12

243 is right. There are people who've passed out or even died giving birth in the past before they could take meds. My mom was on meds giving birth to me and it was STILL the hardest time giving birth she's had and her longest time in labour. So just imagine how painful it would be without the meds.

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  mannatee  |  19

There's no way a woman would die due to the pain unless the baby was freakishly huge, men endure WAAAYYY more pain when we get kicked in the balls, and we don't die

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  alice192823  |  24

236- but "in the past" babies heads have been smaller. As we continue to evolve as a race, the cerebral cortex size of people's heads is increasing, and therefore it's starting to hurt more and more, because women aren't evolving new ways to cope with the pain... Hence needing pain meds

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  Ohitsariel  |  25

310 I am not sure who told you that but it isn't true. the cerebral cortex is an outer layer and its like 1 or 2 mm thick so that's really not why any of this is happening. childbirth has always been very stressful on a woman's body and both child and mother fatality rates were much higher in the past than they are now. because of our advancements in technology, like the ability to perform a cesarean section, or an epidural, pain meds etc, the birth is a lot less traumatic for both the child and the mother. and obviously sanitation does play a role, there was a time when people didn't wash their hands in a surgical suite not to mention wear gloves.

By  ss_20_xx  |  14

What's with stupid husbands these days.

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  alexup24  |  13

What's with stupid fml commenters these days...

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  iBanana  |  17

What's with failed sarcasticless comments? Go to sarcasm school, or something. P.S- I'm not sure if that's a word, someone Google it.

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  debbster7  |  18

They're all like "go make me a sammich!" *___* But seriously, screw him OP. You should be able to get whatever freaking drugs you need to not be withering in pain during labor.

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  SexiMamita91  |  3

Lol really dumb husbands? How about whiny people! Before epidural women gave birth naturally just fine. If anyone needs an epidural if anything is because they would need a c section

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  GothicAngel17  |  24

Or if she bites him. Preferably somewhere where it hurts. But seriously OP, if you don't want a drug free birth it's entirely your choice. Not his. He's not the one who has to push a freakin baby out of your vagina. Therefore he has no say. Stand up to him on this one. And get the doctor to explain to him that it doesn't make the baby addicted to drugs. I hope it makes him feel like the complete moron that he obviously is.

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  22cute  |  17

He's wrong to think he can make the decision. But epidurals are bad for a baby. Have a water birth and you won't need the epidural. The warm water relaxes your muscles and lowers your blood pressure too. You might also try hypnobirthing, which can make the whole experience pain free and amazing.

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  Nessco  |  36

LOL - I got told I'd have unbelievable bone breaking strength during the labour, yet I was so weak I couldn't even make a fist. Maybe it's only those who have epidurals that get that amazing strength. All my strength went into the delivery. Both mine were done without epidurals. Would be interesting to hear from others if there is any correlation between this strength and epidurals.

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  luckyd880  |  12

116- I had an epidural with my (1st and only baby) and I loved it. I literally laughed while pushing. The entire experience was amazing and when I am ready for baby #2 I won't do anything different! I was induced and after 11 hours and 40 min of waiting I started pushing. After 20 min I had my baby boy! I felt like superwoman. And not once during the whole labor did the epidural affect my baby in any way. No blood pressure rise or anything. Maybe I was s

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  luckyd880  |  12

Just lucky or something idk but I will always recommend the epidural. A doctor wouldn't give them out if they were bad for you or the baby. That's my outlook on it. Others may have had a bad experience(s) with epidurals but I sure didn't. And to the person who suggested the water birth. I'm sorry but ew. Never in a million years for this girl. That's just my opinion. You have fun though...

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  22cute  |  17

2 kids. Both waterbirths at home with midwives & no drugs. They are now teens & both gifted.

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  wildthang428  |  10

"Gifted"... How artfully placed that comment was. There is no correlation between being gifted and how they were delivered, so get off your pedestal. I can't speak for everyone about one's strength during labor, but I know I had all the strength in the world once I got my epidural. I pushed him out in 25 minutes because I didn't feel any pain whatsoever. I tried to wait, but at 7cm dilated I couldn't take the pain anymore and was completely delirious. Everyone is different, and every birth is different. The choices you make during labor does not make you any less of a woman or a good mother if you do or don't get an epidural. You are bringing a child into this world which is the ultimate blessing!

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  22cute  |  17

Exactly NO kids have drowned during water births. Babies are not even breathing air at that point. I fail to see why anyone says ew to birthing in a soothing hot tub but "give me some of that" to having a large needle inserted into your back mere millimeters from your spine. If they miss a little (which has happened) you end up paralyzed. And OFCOURSE it effects the baby, why else the danger of dropping heart rate. You need to realize NO medical interventions on birthing moms has been tested in controlled studies because NO ONE would volunteer for the study, would you?

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  ShyAnn29  |  14

No, babies do not drown if they are born underwater. They live in a watery environment until labour heralds their transition from the uterus to the air-filled world outside. The stimulus to breath at birth occurs when the baby is exposed to air, plus the dramatic change of temperature, noise and light. During a waterbirth this occurs when the baby is lifted up out of the water. His/her umbilical cord, his/her lifeline, continues to provide oxygenated blood while he responds to the new stimuli and fills his lungs with air for the first time. Simultaneously his heart function converts to include the oxygenated blood provided by his lungs, no longer solely relying on the placenta. Delaying clamping and cutting of the umbilical cord is very beneficial to baby's transition to life outside the uterus. If allowed the umbilical cord may continue to pulsate for some time, providing baby with his/her full quota of blood volume via the placenta, maximising perfusion of his newly functioning lung tissues and supporting his/her transition, unhurried, into his/her new world. *I got this from google*

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  sulitak  |  26

haha I was thinking that. my husband is buying a tough rubber stress ball for me to grip because the last time I got scared around him I bruised his hand.

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  SkyBirdy  |  5

But then women end up shitting instead of giving birth, then there's that awkward moment when the doctor needs to move the shit and...

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Your a dumb ass... I swear I may be a guy but ik that it sucks for women to give birth so why don't you shove a basketball up your ass then push it out and tell me then that you wouldn't want an epidural for that

By  XHerobrineX  |  4

Did he actually understand what an epidural was? I'd bet that he didn't. Did you explain it to him? If you did, and he still stuck with his opinions, tell him to research it. If he still doesn't change his views...... Then there has to be another reason. Find out what it is and fix it if possible. Good luck OP. Good luck....

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  luckyd880  |  12

How dare he. It's not his body or pain that comes from labor. I respect people that don't use the epidural but I sure as heck did! And I loved it. And it didn't affect my baby one bit! I am on epidurals side 100% and would Reccomend it to anyone. And stand up to silly men like your husband who think they have a right to decide something like that, men have no idea. They get a cold and they turn into men babies on the couch shouting out orders in whiny little voices. When it comes to labor, men just need to shut up and agree with the pregnant women!

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  ImaginaryFoe  |  0

Epidural was not my friend but OP should definitely go with whatever she feels is best for her and her baby. Lord knows pregnant women have enough people telling them what they should and shouldn't do; the husband's job should be to be supportive, not jump on the bandwagon. I agree that the husband may be under-educated regarding labour procedures. The obstrecian should sort him out. If I recall correctly, epidurals are much less likely to dope up the baby than an injected painkiller.

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  sulitak  |  26

There are doctors who insist that the epidural babies come out "foggy" and with the drugs in their system. so he could find things to support his view point sadly

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  Jaxx66  |  21

No, it makes no sense. The epidural goes into the MOTHERS blood stream. The baby has their own blood. Hence how mothers with AIDs can deliver a child without transferring the disease.

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  kiloutou_fml  |  7

Sorry, I had to create an account to correct this nonsense. 1- the epidural does NOT go into the mother's blood stream. It's injected in the peridural space (just outside the layers protecting the spinal cord), hence close to nerve trunks and bodies -- this is why analgesia is relatively localised to the lower half of the body. 2- Yes, foetal and maternal blooc systems are separate, but nutrients and so on from the mother still pass on to the foetus (explain to me how it survives otherwise...) through the placenta. Unfortunately, HIV is one of those viruses which can cross the placental barrier, so mothers with AIDS can give it to their children (transmission can occur during pregnancy, at childbirth, or during breastfeeding). Now I can understand people not knowing shit like this, but if you're not sure, google or Wiki it ffs. Don't spread bull, especially in matters of health.

By  harrison918  |  5

He may be dumb but atleast he cares about the baby.

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  writergirl23  |  19

Some people have a life beyond researching shit. Just because someone thinks differently to you does not make them lazy and stupid. Besides, she'd just told him she was pregnant. What guy researches pregnancy/labour before their wife/gf/partner becomes pregnant for the first time? I'm almost 26 weeks with a boy and my husband didn't know diddly squat at first. What he did know was because I miscarried at 5 weeks three months before I conceived my baby boy, and we looked it up after the initial conversation about what on earth we were gonna do. Plus when labour comes I bet hell think differently when she's in huge pain and the doctor scoffs when he states the reasoning.

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  OhDearBetrayal  |  25

80- You don't honestly think that people who research lack a "life," do you? That has to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever read before. You research to expand your knowledge or to get some, and if you don't have that then yes it makes you ignorant and stupid.

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  ohmandapants  |  16

80- if OP and her husband were trying to get pregnant, then YES he should have researched and tried to know all he can about babies and pregnancy. He needs to know what do to with a baby and what's going on with his wife's body too. Even if they weren't trying, he should have researched before opening his ignorant mouth.

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  ImaginaryFoe  |  0

Really, #80? If he is obviously misinformed on a subject and goes off spouting orders about something that affects someone else's body, stupid is the perfect word to describe him. It's nice that he cares about the baby; it'd be better if he cared more for his wife, too. She should certainly play a larger part in the conversation other than receiving orders from him.

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  Pazu_fml  |  10

It's okay to be ignorant. It's not okay to assert a position or make decisions for other people regarding something you are ignorant about. That's what makes him an idiot.

By  MoogleSam  |  8

If the drugs in an epidural would harm the baby or cause addiction the doctors would NOT give them to you for pain relief. Plus, your husband has no right to 'forbid' anything anyway. What he can do though is prevent himself drinking alcohol near you and stop you trying to drink any alcohol you might be tempted by because even just one glass can cause a condition called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which causes severe brain damage and often leaves the child unable to do even simple schoolwork and stuck with a fairly childish mindset for quite a few years after childhood, possibly even forever. This also often causes a lack of friends and an inability to care for themselves. If you take any medication, you should find out if they affect unborn children in any way and you should definitely avoid smoking, drinking and any tasks your body feels unable to handle during pregnancy.

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  DocBastard  |  38

Moogle, I agree with the first and last part of your comment, but the whole thing about alcohol is utter rubbish. Small amounts of alcohol, even up to a glass of wine once a week, is safe during pregnancy, especially during the second half. Unless you're a healthcare professional, please don't go spreading around medical misinformation. People may actually believe it.

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I don't entirely agree with MoogleSam, but studies regarding alcohol use in pregnancy are ethically tricky, and, bearing in mind that alcohol is definitely teratogenic (harmful to embryos and fetuses), and crosses the placenta, I would advise pregnant woman not to drink at all in the first trimester (when the organ systems do their most developing), and to limit their alcohol intake, to nothing if possible, during the last 2 trimesters (when the baby does a lot of growing) - it's only 9 months, and it really isn't that difficult, especially when you consider the wellbeing of your baba...

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