Love: Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year,...

By agony - 17/12/2011 03:29 - United States

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 050

You deserved it 5 888

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Same thing different taste

Worst roommate ever

By Anonymous - 08/10/2022 01:30

Tonday, I spent the night in my car because I didn’t want to go home as I just gave my roommate a 30-day eviction notice. My girlfriend is spending the night at a friend's, and I’m too cheap to get a hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 1 187

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 11:17 - United States - Gurnee

Today, my tiny apartment flooded. My family lives out of state and the few friends I have all gave me B.S. excuses for why I can't stay over for a few nights. I'm so broke this month that I'll probably have to hit up my psycho ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 114

You deserved it 1 862

Sofa King

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 15:00

Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 1 038

Live from Salt Lake City

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 20:02

Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 3 354

By broke - 22/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 431

You deserved it 330

By jillie minaj - 09/07/2012 21:06 - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 098

You deserved it 61 232

Life decisions

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 05:05

Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend after I got home and realised I was happier sat in my car on the street than I would be if I went inside and had to put up with her whining and her two spoiled daughters for even one more day. So now I’m happy, but also homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 416

So close

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 06:00

Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 143

We're in hell

By Anonymous - 15/01/2024 16:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after leaving my abusive partner, I checked into a hotel through a crisis service. Since then, I've been asked to have sex for $20, and also yelled at for not driving a woman to a shopping centre, which is a 5-minute walk away. I don't drive and have been here for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 84

By worsethanzombies - 23/11/2009 16:40 - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 127

You deserved it 4 875

Feedmyaddiction5 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:28

That sucks! You should just go crazy and accuse her of sleeping with every guy in the state

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:36

So just drive around masturbating furiously until you get arrested. At least then you'll get 3 meals and a man to snuggle with.

Comments

upyourzlolz 11

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:36

For the best of both worlds, go to a friends house, take their money, and then get a divorce!

SamCat 21

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:39

I truly feel bad for you OP. Good luck.

KeyboardWarrior 10

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:10

24 Somebody who agrees with me :D

ty1992_farmlife 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 6:40

Do I hear couples counseling?!! Sounds like you and her need to work those trust problems out lol

sarahbear430 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 7:52

For the price of couples counseling, OP could get a hotel room

ty1992_farmlife 12

Saturday 17 December 2011 14:18

I didn't say he woul pay, since she's the crazy one she should pay.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 16:24

Some insurance companies cover couples counseling. I think it's a great idea but the norm around here lingers around "ZOMG divorce!!!1!". Since OP has already mentioned divorce, it might be too late for counseling but mediation could lead to a cheaper, less hostile divorce.