Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail,... - FML

By baffleduncle - 27/7/2019 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1651

You deserved it

128

Tweet

Share

Rock, hard place

Boozehound

Yappy neighborhood

By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57877

You deserved it

8201

Tweet

Share

By SoulStormIV - 12/5/2016 03:03 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10759

You deserved it

5352

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/7/2013 13:58 - United States - Wayne

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54408

You deserved it

5036

Tweet

Share

By anon - 12/4/2011 10:09

Today, I wore a Stanford college T-shirt to school. My Spanish teacher took one look at it and said "You wish". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38233

You deserved it

8275

Tweet

Share

By CatLady - 24/8/2009 13:38 - Canada

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39426

You deserved it

4133

Tweet

Share

By Lisaaa - 27/10/2010 11:47 - Canada

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

13659

You deserved it

34450

Tweet

Share

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51463

You deserved it

4802

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 20:30 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37518

You deserved it

3319

Tweet

Share

By GoodDog - 9/9/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12805

You deserved it

51705

Tweet

Share

By ontherun2012 - 14/2/2012 04:22 - United States

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28925

You deserved it

7824

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/2/2013 01:55 - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15438

You deserved it

45747

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37337

You deserved it

2607

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/9/2016 10:05

Today, my girlfriend contacted me. She said she'd thought over her feelings over our temporary break in the relationship, and she wanted to try again. Being my stupid, self-loathing self, I asked her so many questions on if she was sure or not that she went back into doubt and revoked the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8450

You deserved it

11155

Tweet

Share

By Thongy - 7/4/2020 20:00 - Canada

Cultural differences

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? My Australian friend sent me a message saying I'd left my thongs at his house. My boyfriend still refuses to believe that they call flip-flops thongs in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1905

You deserved it

186

Tweet

Share

By emmmbo - 19/12/2011 15:40 - Australia

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55664

You deserved it

5417

Tweet

Share

By elisimo - 24/1/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20470

You deserved it

35584

Tweet

Share

By Username - 21/12/2010 05:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30393

You deserved it

4394

Tweet

Share

By comeonnow - 25/9/2016 18:53 - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11316

You deserved it

735

Tweet

Share

By NotInTheRightPlace - 17/3/2014 18:18 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40956

You deserved it

6505

Tweet

Share

By nacho - 24/1/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34950

You deserved it

4312

Tweet

Share

By lynn_27 - 2/5/2020 08:00

Hammertime

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to tell me he couldn't take it anymore because my legs were too hairy. I shaved yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1732

You deserved it

241

Tweet

Share

By fireenginemad - 10/2/2013 06:08 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35171

You deserved it

2157

Tweet

Share

By fmljae - 20/1/2011 09:11

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10776

You deserved it

30654

Tweet

Share

By me - 21/8/2013 23:45 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49133

You deserved it

24051

Tweet

Share

By blahmylife - 15/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my boss is being so cheap, he'd rather type in the dark, not fix our water heater or replace our cordless phone because he will not get his bonus if he goes over the budget. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29012

You deserved it

2477

Tweet

Share

By poupi - 25/12/2008 12:57 - France

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25389

You deserved it

6876

Tweet

Share

By newguy - 29/8/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43951

You deserved it

4767

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32944

You deserved it

4169

Tweet

Share

By yapDogs - 10/5/2015 01:43 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29717

You deserved it

2363

Tweet

Share

By toazt - 10/10/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37361

You deserved it

3479

Tweet

Share

By jlw1998 - 25/4/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18375

You deserved it

4433

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/9/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39124

You deserved it

3974

Tweet

Share

By toolateabuckshort - 2/6/2017 12:11

I agree, your life sucks

3218

You deserved it

1832

Tweet

Share

By incestastic - 14/8/2010 23:23 - Canada

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43014

You deserved it

3034

Tweet

Share

By anon - 12/4/2015 10:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30728

You deserved it

2440

Tweet

Share

By whatsmccraken - 10/9/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40567

You deserved it

2281

Tweet

Share

By everybodysfool - 24/12/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25850

You deserved it

4236

Tweet

Share

By ForeverAlone - 9/5/2015 15:53 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31789

You deserved it

3019

Tweet

Share

By me - 4/2/2012 19:40 - United States

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36105

You deserved it

5945

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/7/2015 18:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22861

You deserved it

9077

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Elizabeth Burley | 21

#7826162 - Sunday 28 July 2019 6:40

I myself love conspiracy theories and sometimes call myself a conspiracy theorist, but not even I'm that crazy! Of course it sank. its on the bottom of the ocean. its like the same people who say the holocaust didnt happen or dinosaurs never existed. if course all that happened, we have hard proof. ugh. i swear, some people.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7826140 - Sunday 28 July 2019 3:44

Send her a bunch of “Bye, Felicia” videos and memes.

Comments

By JosephFDawson | 5

#7826134 - Sunday 28 July 2019 2:54

As someone who has researched Titanic and ocean liners in general almost my whole life. I can say this is even worse than the Olympic switch theory.

By acmariner99 | 23

#7826135 - Sunday 28 July 2019 2:56

Well conspiracy theorists are experts at being whacko.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7826140 - Sunday 28 July 2019 3:44

Send her a bunch of “Bye, Felicia” videos and memes.

By Kelsie Lynn Christensen | 12

#7826142 - Sunday 28 July 2019 4:18

Tell her to watch Shane Dawson to get her conspiracies straight

By Henry8cooper | 15

#7826150 - Sunday 28 July 2019 5:15

Thank god for YouTube 😂 It allows so many people to stuff their minds with useless crap - At least it keeps them of the streets I hope

By Elizabeth Burley | 21

#7826162 - Sunday 28 July 2019 6:40

I myself love conspiracy theories and sometimes call myself a conspiracy theorist, but not even I'm that crazy! Of course it sank. its on the bottom of the ocean. its like the same people who say the holocaust didnt happen or dinosaurs never existed. if course all that happened, we have hard proof. ugh. i swear, some people.

By Cody Vertigo Bonthoux | 15

#7826310 - Sunday 28 July 2019 17:14

tell her mom to get her tested

By slym12312425 | 8

#7826384 - Sunday 28 July 2019 21:29

Your niece needs to be reminded of the whole "you can't believe everything you read online," thing.

By Nathanael Johnson | 15

#7826453 - Monday 29 July 2019 2:22

Why stop there niece? If your going to deny the Titanic (which is clearly proven) let’s deny Hindenburg and The Challenger disaster for good measure lol

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7826469 - Monday 29 July 2019 3:37

I blame the Illuminati flat earth anti-vaxxer holocaust deniers. Oh, and the Cheeto-in-Chief.