By sadsadperson - 07/09/2011 08:51 - Australia

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 875
You deserved it 30 809

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Top comments

You have hit rock bottom my friend.

Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.


You have hit rock bottom my friend.

you talk to books too?! finally, another person like me.

If you want to get laid. Start by stopping with the whole diary thing. What are you? A seventh grade girl?

Did anyone else have the hardest time clicking this damn FML because of how small it is and where it was? Geez. OP, that's pretty pathetic. That's essentially trying to impress yourself...? But you're a girl. From what I know, getting laid is pretty fucking easy if you have a vagina.

I spent like five minutes Pressing it. So yea. .-.

13FTW 9

I don't think your diary enjoys being lied to. Books have feelings too people!

GODDAMMIT!! I hate these one line FMLs. They're so hard to select if you're using the app XD But that's pretty pointless OP, why would you lie to a book O.o

Very pathetic!! Why would you lie in your diary? The only person to read it will be you. So basically you're lying to yourself about yourself. Smdh

if you're still writing a diary then more than likely you are 16. not that there is anything wrong with diaries or that you are 16 but my guess is you're too young anyways. there's more important stuff than sex. go volunteer at a soup kitchen and stop complaining about the small stuff

Today I lied to my diary about being an intergalactic space man from mars but I think I still have abit of dignity unlike OP

It's good encouragement to actually get laid.

But you tell the truth to a website..? O.o

OP wrote a whole diary book side about the hot and sweaty night she had with her imaginary boyfriend just so she could read it later in life and see what date she lost her imaginary virginity.

It's because of girls like 45 that make me want to move to Australia :)

What's the point? It's your one else will read it, except you, so lying to yourself doesn't change a may make for a kinda funny FML but that's about it

20, I got it on the first try. :)

20 & 31 - I hate these one-line FMLs too! And 31 - I remember you from that other one-line FML a short time ago, haha. And again, I love your pic ;) Oh and same goes to you, 42 :)

I mean 47. My bad

Tookie22 5

More important stuff... A soup kitchen? Come on really. You need to get laid too. An OP if you weren't disgusting maybe a guy would lay pipe if you set out the welcome mat

LMAO at ur profile

You don't know whether or not I'm a virgin. I'm just saying there are more important things in this world than getting laid. like helping people. Ignorant people like you piss me off.

TheSchizoPsycho 5

#20? I got it first try not even trying... Rofl. FML

koolkat27 13

1- says the Ginger.

ImFrackinBored 13

Having a diary may be part of that issue...

-90 Must've used your dick

If you can't tap on one-line FML's, just tap on the previous or following FML and use the up or down arrow.

DaslovesTrack 2

haha I love this!

even the ginger thinks thats rock bottom, and he doesnt have a soul

Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.

Talking diaries will be a new fad, like that old Internet fad were going through.

Previous FML references FTW

rexgar2000 10

they probably will come up with an app for talking diary :)

Georgieeporgiee 9

This is totally something I would do... Sad Losers together eyy??;)

102-I would be surprised if you had to lie about getting laid to your diary

Self deception, it's sad that you cant even be honest to yourself

iAmScrubs 19

Was it by that Justin Beaver character? I hear he's quite the cat's meow.

me_the_maniak 14

A very high probability .... haha ...

3 the bees knees.

Nice hat bro!

ChrisRosales 0

N( . Y . )B!!

How actually sad. Time to get laid for real, my friend.

OMG!!! It took forever for this frikin FML to open up cause it's so small!

That's what the arrows are for, now go be stupid somewhere else.

Everyone was a new user sometime in the past

auntiemomma 0

well he did make his name Dr_Jalapenos...

maz255 10

a disgrace to jalepenos with a doctorate everywhere...

It's okay. You don't rush these things. Just be happy for who you are and how you are. When you've found the right person, you'll settle down and it all comes naturally. So just chill. ;)

Unless he/she is like, over 20. That's kind of sad.

ReynshineCutting 10

What's wrong with not having sex until you're over 20? Not everyone loses their virginity in high school and there's nothing wrong with that. I honestly commend people who wait.

leadman1989 15

Unless they're NOT waiting... -_-

^ Waiting is just their excuse.

ReynshineCutting 10

Some people actually do wait you know. It's not just an excuse.

cradle6 13

People should do whatever they want without judgement. Have sex or don't. No one cares.

a_nutritionist 10 doesnt say theyre a virgin anyway, pointless debate.

You need a life.

muchagente 5

you got laid and did not tell? it's a personal matter, of course.

are you retarded or did u just not bother reading the FML..

rexgar2000 10

I think you a little lost my friend

13FTW 9

I agree the original comment poster doesn't appear to have read the FML but, the word "retarded" is extremely unnecessary. Some people actually are challenged and in a sense that is putting them down. Gosh I hate being serious on FML....

K dude. Sorry he said retarded. Let's say something nicer, like, bastard.

Llamassss 21

57- Some people are actually fatherless out there and in a sense that is putting them down. Gosh I hate being serious on FML....

How about we use f*ck tard

bryannab1 0

I have to agree with 55. Stop using "retard". There are other words to use.

haleybaby77 0

Well.. He should have read the FML right!

rexgar2000 10

some people actually like fucking tards so in a sense that's putting them down. Gosh I hate being serious in FML.....

Next time, understand sonething before commenting... -_-'

Defiantly retarded.

Your life sucks

No duh. XD

highlystrung 4

I voted 'you deserved it' as soon as I saw the word 'diary'.