Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML
Scrolling through the "shitty situation & blow puns comments" and missing the times when people wrote things that had meaning- whether it be constructive criticism, a witty joke, an insightful observation, or just really helpful advice.
the real question is how did we come to all this. are we all eternally doomed to have the very first thing be "shitty situation". have we, via sentience, developed past the point of cleverness into idiocy?
OP, maybe do what I do and keep the tissue box right on top the back of your toilet. Killing two birds with one stone is something people always seem to favor.
This may explain the origin of the phrase "blow it out your ass." I think this will give a very graphic mental image next time I hear it. So very sorry for you OP!