By FlyLikeABird - United States - San Francisco Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML I agree, your life sucks 26487 You deserved it 4269 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Parker Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML I agree, your life sucks 42206 You deserved it 3879 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By never-even-owned-a-car - 30/8/2020 17:02 Broke Today, it's the tenth anniversary of me getting my driver's license. My record is perfect: no accidents, no tickets. Today is also the tenth anniversary of the last time I drove a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1083 You deserved it 468 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily 1992 - United States - Klamath Falls Today, and for the past 3 days, I've had a massive migraine. It finally went away while I was at work, thanks to my nose bleeding all over the place. FML I agree, your life sucks 1696 You deserved it 102 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, my friends and I were drinking boba. On the side of the cup it said "Please drink carefully to avoid choking on the Boba". I started to laugh at the ridiculousness of the label, and choked on the boba in a coughing fit. FML I agree, your life sucks 15569 You deserved it 68537 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seriously? - United States - Manassas Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML I agree, your life sucks 43256 You deserved it 7710 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dariya - United States Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML I agree, your life sucks 43611 You deserved it 4640 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lovenotes - United States Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML I agree, your life sucks 17328 You deserved it 42830 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By greg Today, my mother sued me for whiplash in a car accident that was her fault. She screamed to stop so I slammed on the brakes and the car behind ran into us. It wasn't an emergency; she just thought she saw her friend at the bus stop. It wasn't even her. FML I agree, your life sucks 5393 You deserved it 367 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Puyallup Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML I agree, your life sucks 30672 You deserved it 2442 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa - United States - Bronx Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML I agree, your life sucks 25910 You deserved it 14066 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 30893 You deserved it 6312 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Speedy - United Kingdom Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML I agree, your life sucks 13602 You deserved it 40921 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MERRY FUCKMYARSEMASS - United Kingdom Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML I agree, your life sucks 37963 You deserved it 2763 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/11/2020 11:02 Good luck out there… Today, my father said I only voted for Biden "because I watch the news." He's a hardcore Trumpster. FML I agree, your life sucks 981 You deserved it 447 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clkoko - United States - Buffalo Today, I noticed that the eye drops I have been using 3 times a day for the past week expired when the Jonas Brothers were popular. FML I agree, your life sucks 21368 You deserved it 5524 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LittleGina - United States - Benson Today, a woman was standing in front of me in line. There was a strand of hair on her back, so to be nice, I pulled it off her. It was still attached to her head. FML I agree, your life sucks 3527 You deserved it 7632 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oldmama728 Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML I agree, your life sucks 33279 You deserved it 46176 438 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Creeped - United States Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 24720 You deserved it 1795 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 404 justice not found - United States - Whitehall Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML I agree, your life sucks 20167 You deserved it 1512 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/9/2020 14:01 America's Funniest Home Videos Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML I agree, your life sucks 1119 You deserved it 248 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 27091 You deserved it 4103 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hatilic_ Today, my idiot of a boss yelled at me because it's physically impossible for me to be in two places at the same time, and that I'm not a magician. He didn't understand that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1607 You deserved it 129 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML I agree, your life sucks 12858 You deserved it 33530 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it was my big sister's birthday, and I was told the iPod I ordered her online was not coming due to a mix up. I drove to three different electronic stores before I found the one she wanted. After spending forever in traffic, I came home to find a package on my doorstep. It was her iPod. FML I agree, your life sucks 31230 You deserved it 4012 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML I agree, your life sucks 54982 You deserved it 44660 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coffee girl - Canada Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML I agree, your life sucks 33224 You deserved it 2425 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Horneyandbleeding - 23/11/2020 07:01 - Canada - Winnipeg Bad timing Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 906 You deserved it 403 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML I agree, your life sucks 7991 You deserved it 82506 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML I agree, your life sucks 24019 You deserved it 4427 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By derve - United States Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML I agree, your life sucks 21129 You deserved it 2154 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By myheart75 - Australia Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML I agree, your life sucks 31448 You deserved it 5855 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Belgium Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML I agree, your life sucks 34993 You deserved it 6000 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cress Today, my dad asked what I wanted for my birthday. The only thing I wanted was the complete series of Dragon Ball Z on DVD. He just sighed, shook his head, and asked me to pick something normal. FML I agree, your life sucks 4206 You deserved it 1956 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tris Talk is cheap Today, my co-workers keep making fun of me because I said, “You’re very so welcome.” They say it's not proper grammar, but honestly I can’t find anything that says I’m wrong. FML I agree, your life sucks 537 You deserved it 1869 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oops Today, someone broke the flush on the toilet in the only female bathroom in the office, and didn’t leave either a note or out of order sign. The broken flush became very apparent, however, after I was unable to flush the vile smelling deposit I’d left in there. FML I agree, your life sucks 3414 You deserved it 379 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jonnygiant - United States Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML I agree, your life sucks 26201 You deserved it 69889 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wildwonder808 - United States - Dearborn Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML I agree, your life sucks 43301 You deserved it 8039 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Boston Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML I agree, your life sucks 57033 You deserved it 7659 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Dansville Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML I agree, your life sucks 28873 You deserved it 4078 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Franklin Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML I agree, your life sucks 23428 You deserved it 1812 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LiveLifeAllDay | 11 #6120608 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:49 I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen Send a private message 28 5 Reply
By PenguinBitch | 43 #6120620 - Monday 17 November 2014 10:12 *two crows laugh nearby* Send a private message 28 2 Reply
By LifeMD | 14 #6120604 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:46 Don't worry OP, I've had something similar happen to me. If you're a bird, I'm a bird. Send a private message 4 12 Reply
By ihaveasushicat | 24 #6120605 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:46 Did you leave a face print on the glass like birds usually do? Send a private message 18 1 Reply
By Ohshitdude | 21 #6120607 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:49 Were you at least drunk? Send a private message 8 12 Reply
By LiveLifeAllDay | 11 #6120608 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:49 I'm usually nice about this but I would have loved to see this happen Send a private message 28 5 Reply
By scottyboy417 | 19 #6120612 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:58 I walked into a stop sign once face first. I feel your pain. Send a private message 5 5 Reply
By devildog562 | 33 #6120614 - Monday 17 November 2014 9:59 Windex , birds and humans worse enemy. Hope you're okay op. Send a private message 21 4 Reply
Reply badluckalex | 23 #6120624 - Monday 17 November 2014 10:16 spiders are #1 Send a private message 1 15 Reply
By PenguinBitch | 43 #6120620 - Monday 17 November 2014 10:12 *two crows laugh nearby* Send a private message 28 2 Reply
By SarahSehhati | 40 #6120623 - Monday 17 November 2014 10:15 Let the sun shine through...Windex :) Send a private message 6 8 Reply
By Stryker_13 | 19 #6120644 - Monday 17 November 2014 10:45 You flew into a window and broke your nose? That's quite a talent you have there xP are you sure you aren't part bird? Send a private message 11 4 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 630 You deserved it 184 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1115 You deserved it 171 11 Comments