By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 520
You deserved it 3 710

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Could have been worse, you could have kicked your pet snake's dog toy :)

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OP never told us what kind of snake it was. It could be a venomous snake. Australia IS home to many deadly animals.

Very true 17, and lots of dangerous spiders. Australia has some very scary wildlife. I once got chased by a cassowary, they are a very scary bird!

Ok im gonna go for it. THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!!

29, don't forget about the drop bears. Those damn koalas, just waiting, all cute and fluffy, for their chance to jump out of the trees, right onto your head... Claws out and everything.

It could of been worst ..

"Something bit me!!"

Given OP's location it was probably an eastern brown. OP's lucky their dog is alive and they're not in agony in hospital. On the other hand, if it was dead 'cause OP's dog killed it they should probably stay away from the RSPCA and WIRES for a while. Oopst....

43- I really enjoyed your comment for one reason: both the line you said and the one posted at the beginning of the thread are said either by Tom Hanks or in Tom Hanks movies. Whether or not this is intentional doesn't matter. Bravo

7, the island taipan, the most poisonous land snake in the world, LIVES in Australia, my homeland ;)

And then you realized you didn't have a dog...

And it's home to some of the most dangerous snakes.

17 and 29 - you have no idea ;) wildlife here is crazy as fuck. What other country has jumping marsupials that can drown a dog in a dam (seen the after effects of a kicking/slashing/drowning, ain't pretty) has mammals that lay eggs which hatch for the babies to crawl into a pouch, and has some of the deadliest snakes and spiders in the world? ;) OP I hear and feel your pain

I moderated this one :)

Your mother must be so proud.

Sorry. It was an honest mistake. I'll just go hide in this corner.......

What, she can't be proud of you in the afterlife?

I think we should stop talking about if my dead mother is proud of me of not!

well this was an amazingly awkward conversation to read.

lolipop1234, I'm sorry for your loss

your mother being dead doesnt give you a right to be a jackwad.

62- You realize you can use the word fuck, right fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

62- what's an "f" ?

I didn't mean to offend anyone but sorry if I did. And 65 I freaking love teddiursa :)

The start of my last comment was for 61.

Actually, what did I say that makes me a "jackwad"? Just wondering.

Could have been worse, you could have kicked your pet snake's dog toy :)

Pull out the ol trouser snake and have an epic battle!

Jizz in it's eye! Yeah!

A wild ekans appeared. Go penis! Penis used jizz. Ekans' accuracy fell. Ekans used poison fang. Penis was detached! Penis fainted

Beware of the one eyed snake!

I bet the snake was as happy about it as you were...

It could have ended worse if you picked it up and threw it for your dog.

You kicked your dog's penis? Nice

Nope he kicked his own i'd say.

Why would u want to kick ur dogs penis? Is ur girlffruend outta town?

23: do you mean you kick your girlfriends penis or does she kick yours?

No, what i think he meant is that he mistook his dogs penis for a snake, realized it was HIS penis, then re-realized that his penis is not as large as a snake, so; it was a snake.

Now you can brag about kicking a snake cause you're a fearless rebel.

Why does it matter? BTW, OP is Australian.

No seeing at it says next to OP's name : New South Wales, Austrailia. -_____-

I hope that somehow somewhere, you're born in Australia and ignorant people like you ask, "Are u BrItIsH?!! Omg sooooo KEWL"

I use fml on my phone, and it doesn't tell any information about OP besides the name they choose for their fml. Just saying....

Uh, I'm on the app too; yes, it does.

Just to clear things up, I have the app on my phone & on my iPod. On my phone(android), it doesn't show any info. But on my iPod it does. So it just depends on your device.

On my iPhone it says where they're from

Wow, the android app sucks.