By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 20:24 - United States - Chandler

Spicy
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 211
You deserved it 11 952

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Top comments

At least she wasn't actually a corpse?

everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

Comments

fyl OP, that must've sucked

Nope, she didn't even suck.

Don't have a one night stand then? Then it may be what you're hoping for

Key words you hooked up with a chick from a club.

Most awkward eye contact ever made, probably happened in that time.

Lebeaugars95 20

Doesn't matter, had sex

Can I say I love you? Hahaha

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

This one doesn't sound like it's his fault.. He was doing all of the work. She was being a starfish

brettrb 18

It takes two people for good sex. Laying motionless usually doesn't help anybody.

its her fault she should have put more effort in.

My first thought was 'maybe she's just really, really drunk'. Or possibly drink spiked? I dunno, I'm sure OP is a nice guy...but it does sound a bit dodgy. I think I'd be more concerned about if she was okay. Hopefully he's just exaggerating a bit.

ironik69 31

Being a starfish. LMFAO. I will have to use that one.

Why haven't you told her ? If she thinks it's healthy and normal, she will continue :c

Because it was most likely just a one night stand.

At least she wasn't actually a corpse?

everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

Plot twist! OP is actually DMX! "Got blood on my dick cause I fucked a corpse" - DMX "Bring Your Whole Crew"

Ted Bundy would have loved it

I can agree with that

I'm not sure how this one got through moderation.

neutralize 12

Well, think of it this way: at least you weren't fucking an ACTUAL corpse!

fallingbackward 2

My friend had to do that once, he said she never even noticed the lack of semen...maybe she was a corpse?

Well, at least you'll never see her again, and it'll make for a funny story after like twenty beers, cause you're gonna need them to forget that.

She was just being lazy... Wanted you to do all the work

Run, Forrest, run, from this stupid comment.