Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and... - FML

By pinpin - 13/11/2008 11:39 - France

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

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By 'creep' - 22/4/2013 05:01 - United States - Littleton

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/6/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, I was playing basketball in our company gym. I took a shot from half court, and at that exact moment, an executive walked into the gym with an important potential client. My shot bounced off the side of the backboard, off some bleachers, and right into the client's head. FML

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By realitybites - 8/7/2013 17:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/3/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

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By sadgirl - 10/6/2013 18:14 - United States - Conway

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

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By Invisible - 15/6/2017 22:00

Today, I realized how little my husband, son and I mean to my in-laws. We were somehow left off the distribution list for my sister-in-law's birthday party. I even texted her to wish her well. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the fifth consecutive family event we were left out of. FML

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By wellthanks - 10/6/2013 17:04 - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

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By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 14:27 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

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By Neckbruise101 - 15/10/2016 06:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss berated me in front of 2 other coworkers about how unprofessional it was for me to show up to work with a clearly visible hickey. I had to explain to him that my "hickey" was actually a huge pimple that had bruised up after I popped it. FML

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By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

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By minikat - 2/6/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/4/2016 03:26 - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML

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By Anna - 6/7/2011 06:15 - United States

User review

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's Facebook wall. Apparently, I give awful blowjobs. FML

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By T___T - 12/9/2015 01:54 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that no, my period arriving several days late doesn't mean I have AIDS. FML

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By child abused - 19/10/2017 00:00 - United States - New York

Not helping.

Today, my neighbor's pesky 7-year-old daughter, who is friends with the guy I really like, decided to help me with him. She used her phone to send him a picture of me. I was in the shower, completely naked and surprised. FML

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By hairplease - 27/2/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

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By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 11:52 - United States

Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/6/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/1/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

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By frigid - 12/10/2011 01:05

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/2/2014 01:03 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

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By TomorrowMaybe - 8/10/2016 16:29 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

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By Dummy - 21/11/2017 05:00

Today, I found out that the little red dots all over my body aren't some horrible disease like I originally thought. They're bedbug bites. I've managed to not notice a huge infestation for 5 months. FML

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By Tired - 17/8/2016 17:51

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it and did it herself. FML

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By Tanner - 16/7/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

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By nerdsgetmehot - 29/12/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 00:01 - United States

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/6/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

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By LALALALA - 29/5/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/5/2013 19:35 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

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By KayDayParade - 28/8/2011 00:38 - United States

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/4/2016 01:54 - Australia - Stafford

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

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By Faluna - 17/2/2011 21:27 - Sweden

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

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By mcullen21 - 12/6/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

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By dry spell - 2/7/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

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By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my parents held an intervention for me. Apparently they think I'm turning into a goth. All because they saw me re-lacing my shoes with black shoelaces instead of white ones. FML

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By Tonya - 28/6/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

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By slim_breezy - 4/6/2016 07:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to rush my son to the ER after he ate a poisonous plant. He said the plant looked like one in Skyrim and he thought he'd get super powers from eating it. FML

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By Loki16 - 2/6/2016 08:40 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

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Top comments

By gemenes | 0

#10384 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:09

maths? don't help him with english either...

By live_2_eat | 5

#642666 - Wednesday 28 October 2009 10:05

Geez, there's nothing wrong with calling it "maths". That's what I call it! Are you so ignorant that you don't have any idea people in other parts of the world spell it differently?

I don't mock Americans when you guys spell things that I consider wrong! E.g, American: "Fetus" Australian: "Foetus", American: "Airplane", Australian: Aeroplane, American: "Mom" Australian: "Mum"

COMMENTS

By iFuckUp | 0

#4141 - Friday 20 February 2009 1:07

@ nilchameleons
I was about to say that haha

By gemenes | 0

#10384 - Monday 2 March 2009 0:09

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

live_2_eat | 5

#642666 - Wednesday 28 October 2009 10:05

Geez, there's nothing wrong with calling it "maths". That's what I call it! Are you so ignorant that you don't have any idea people in other parts of the world spell it differently?

I don't mock Americans when you guys spell things that I consider wrong! E.g, American: "Fetus" Australian: "Foetus", American: "Airplane", Australian: Aeroplane, American: "Mom" Australian: "Mum"

Reply

jtaylor991 | 6

#3749603 - Sunday 18 December 2011 17:01

its not just the spelling but the pronunciation. maths is a double plural

Reply

MissNicky_fml | 0

#4485357 - Saturday 26 May 2012 20:41

no its really not,

Reply

destruct068 | 7

#5962500 - Sunday 1 June 2014 18:29

You don't say "mathematic," you say "mathematics." Hence the "s"

By nwater | 0

#12661 - Tuesday 3 March 2009 15:40

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By caligal14 | 0

#20751 - Sunday 8 March 2009 4:15

Thanks #7 I was gonna say that too. And I'm also American...

By commonsense31 | 0

#24031 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 8:27

Maybe he should ask the person giving him the test instead of someone who isn't giving the test and can't help on specific problems and another possibility is that you helped and he just can't regurgitate material you helped him with don't fyl over your kids test

By SiLveRStaRLIGHT | 0

#77662 - Thursday 2 April 2009 21:09

It's alright. I suck in math too.

By uhoh1717 | 1

#138243 - Friday 24 April 2009 2:05

Idiots saying learn to spell in lots of places math is called maths especially in Europe.

By chilipeppersrok | 0

#159147 - Friday 1 May 2009 6:48

AHAHAHAHAHHA MATHS? HAHAHAHAHAHA

By 24788 | 6

#170764 - Tuesday 5 May 2009 11:53

You probably should have brushed up on your math.

By AntiChrist7 | 0

#171562 - Tuesday 5 May 2009 19:09

1) you're stupid 2. if you do his homework, how is he going to learn it? you're a stupid and bad parent. YDI