By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 04:57 - United States - Blue Springs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 662
You deserved it 17 472

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You just met his other girlfriend....

Now he probably thinks you're a jerk.


Now he probably thinks you're a jerk.

And he knows a thing or two about the jerk.

blackman100 20

Oh shit!!!

Where?? Maybe you meant to say cum or oh nut! No? Eh, I tried now go ahead and bury me alive! Lol

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Neyuu 18

We could say the same about you.


Please put up a fight in the future. ^

Haha, such a nonchalant response - "Okay"

Why would I put up a fight

53: You're zen, bro. I like that.

all of you need to stop being so aggressive and picking fights over everything. this community is psychotic sometimes.

You just met his other girlfriend....

But don't worry, you can do plenty of things that she can only try to imitate.

pvtmeives 4

He's cheating on Jill? That bastard

That's her name? I was wondering who the original girlfriend was ;). What's the name of his back-up girlfriend?


Rosie Palmer!

Palmela Handerson

Barrack Opalma

BradTheBrony 19


Handoff the grey

Yeah it's Jill, just hold out your right hand, the thumb and index finger make the "J," the middle finger is an "I" and the ring and pinky are the "L"s.

My mind is blown right now.

blackman100 20

Arnold Palmer.

mkid232 15

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No, really? Whatever gave you that idea?

sugarshane007 20

Nah, couldn't be that. He's some kind of phobic person that only uses self care products on one side of his body.

Don't worry, I felt your sarcasm and appreciated it. Sometimes you gotta wear those down rates as a badge of honor.

sugarshane007 20

30,this is FML. We have high demands of people using sarcasm here. This one just fell a bit under that bar, even if it truly was sarcasm.

Neyuu 18

What's sarcasm?

BlitzPKF 10

@49 you're kidding right?

sugarshane007 20

Clever ploy 49, very clever.

Neyuu 18

I'm totes srs, 62.

BradTheBrony 19

Sarcasm? What's that taste like?

It seemed like he was being sarcastic. If not, no shit Sherlock.

mkid232 15

How in the world was that too subtle? I guess my mind's eye and everyone else's differs, but good lord I didn't expect to get so many negatives...

kidreich 7

I hate you

What a wanker!

upallnight11 19

He really is a jerk off!

TheElBurrrito 21

He likes to be referred to as a Palm jockey.

oj101 33

OP, you have a golden opportunity. You can easily become girlfriend to the guy you like seeing as he's obviously single and horny.

He could be horny, but his gf doesn't wanna put out!

Somehow I find 6's comment rather sexistic towards men. It's a little strange to link masturbation to 1) being single and 2) desperately needing a relationship. You can be single, horny and yet keep some proper standards towards relationships.

DjeePee you're the first female I have seen who has actually defended a male stating they actually do want a deeper connection with a female other than sex. I salute you mam.

I agree with 36. However, I dated a guy once who only thrived on masturbation, relationship or not. He said he could never depend on girls to fulfill his needs yet he had just got out of a 13 year relationship/marriage. When I would ask about why he liked masturbation so much better, he said it was to record his "memories." I dodged a bullet with that one!

Even guys in committed relationships masturbate. That he wanks a lot doesn't mean he's desperate, although it may mean he's horny. Or it just means he's human.

sugarshane007 20

Hey, this is something he should be proud of. He is not afraid to take the hands on approach to life!

Ooh, I see what you did there. :p and it deserved more thumbs ups than it got.

Soooooo I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Rosie. Oh and did I mention she had 5 sisters!?? Doh! And I agree with #6

I thought her name was Palmela Handerson?

I thought her name was Jill...

Handgelina Jolie

Miss Michigan.

Can someone explain miss Michigan without getting moderated? I tried google and got nothing...

look at a map, its roughly shaped like a mitted* hand

Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.

*four* daughters. unless you have six fingers on one hand; if that is the case, feel free to ignore this comment.

At least he's good at playing the one-hand-fiddle.