It's a conspiracy!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 940
You deserved it 2 493

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Eating too much of something, esp processed foods, can contribute to cancer

Everything gives you cancer now of days

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She's just being aware.

You can never be too careful. Everything gives you cancer these days

Only in the state of California.

Not exactly everything. If you watch what you eat and drink and make the right decisions then no. Processed foods, meat full of antibiotics and other chemicals along with our plants then yes. I'm not a tree hugging hippie but I have learned the direction this world has taken in its food processing. And it's not good. If you don't believe me then educate yourself like I have. I'm not pushing anything on anyone. I'm not even vegan or vegetarian, I just make sure I buy food that is natural. Not caged or pumped with chemicals ie. antibiotics and steroids. And understanding that is the only way we are going to make a difference in this world.

do you really expect people to read all that on fml? lol we're here to read stories about other people having trouble

I'm sorry dathan, but most of us read the long comment just for the hell of it. I'm thinking you're on the wrong site. FML for lazy readers is just around the corner.

Its the preservatives in the ketchup can make you cancer prone. Just like aspartam in 'sugar free' sodas...

#36? ed sheeran fan? :-P

ronbonzombae, the FML takes place in Canada (A.K.A. your country). "Only in (america)" doesn't apply here. Khariau, no? Why the sudden question?

42- Ed Sheeran has a song named 'The A-team'

42- he said it only causes cancer in California due to many labels on industrial substances which are "known in the state of california to cause cancer" so the reference while possibly a bit obscure is still very valid.

Did the public give OP an applause when OP finished? They could've developed cancer just sitting there and hearing the explanation and argument... But it's still better then listening to SOME sorry excuses for music that could give you ear cancer as well. Hell, I get cancer just by reading some comments here, so what is impossible? Beware the ketchup!

XxxT3rr4xxX 25

I couldn't agree more with you not to mention pesticides in our veggies and flouride in our water supply its truely better to be aware than completely oblivious to stuff like that.

94, I'm appreciated fluoride hasn't been banned yet. You know what drinking that stuff does to your body? Eew. And yes, OP, you need to learn about what you're eating. I'd watch Food Inc if I were you. I'm trying to fully switch my diet over to organic foods now.

I agree. watch Food Inc (Netflix/ YouTube) DON'T BUY FROM HUGE CORPORATIONS.... go local, small , humane & natural.....

I'm pointing this out, but would you rather not have fluoride in your water supply and end up like Mexico? Where you get food poisoning of you don't boil it? Yeah no thanks.

#124, you may be thinking of chlorine

Chlorine is cancerous. Especially from a hot steamy shower opening up your pores and absorbing in. Fluoride is good for your teeth. People who only drink bottled water tend to have more teeth issues. So it's a catch 22 situation.

Eating too much of something, esp processed foods, can contribute to cancer

Ketchup cancer. Sounds delightful.

Anything processed or grown with growth hormone and pesticides can probably give you cancer when you have to much of it. So your mum was probably right in away. Moderation is important!

Preservatives, stabilizers, not to mention food coloring!

Oh no its the Heinz 57's of cancer. It's a bit of everything.

If you hit the tiny "57" on the side of a Heinz 57 bottle, the ketchup will come out super easy.(: Learned that watching the show "Unwraps"

#75, a better way is holding the bottle sideways in one hand and warming the neck of the bottle by rapidly stroking it up and down. It might be a lot of work for you, but every guy in a three-table radius will get a raging boner.

Follow that up with chopping off the top of the bottle with a butcher knife and you won't have to worry about douchebags hitting on you while you eat your lunch.

Read what is in it. Like diet drinks have that sugar substitute that can cause tumors. Too much of any processed food can cause cancer.

The Lycopene in ketchup may actually cancel out much of the carcinogenic property of processed food.

Everything gives you cancer now of days

That's because everything does give you cancer these days.

32, you are stupid and that makes me sad.

32, your comment gave me cancer. :(

34- Is he an idiot? maybe. Is he wrong? Partially. There are so many things that people are exposed to in life that some are bound to end up with it. Living alone means that one can get cancer...

especially in California. anyone else seen those labels?

Wouldn't be too sure about that... They put all kinds of crap into processed food these days. :/

Not just the food but the packaging. Unless your ketchup is in a BPA-free bottle, it might actually be hazardous to your health. Tomatoes are quite acidic and probably more likely to pull that stuff out of the plastic. If you eat large quantities, you might get enough of a dosage for it to be contributing factor. Admit it, OP, you're at least unsure now. Don't be such a smug little shit to your mother.

The vinegar in ketchup can be quite acidic too.

No one uses BPA anymore because IT IS hazardous.

77 - we still use so many hazardous chemicals in our food despite that. It's upsetting to say the least.

And progresso soup still uses bpa in their cans or at least they still did as of the beginning of this month so I'm sure there are plenty other companies that use it as well.

#77, so far in the US, it's only banned in baby products

Silly you! Of course you can ;)

Well then I am totally fucked, I love that shit.

I don't even understand why people choose to engulf their food with catsup. That stuff's nasty. And yes I said catsup to seem fancy..

Fancy? I thought you were trying to seem hip and with it. "Catsup" certainly doesn't strike me as FANCY of all things.

Watch out guys, we're dealing with a fancy badass over here.

6- Here's a crazy idea... Maybe.... Wait for it.... Maybe they LIKE ketchup? And no, you do not seem fancy writing "catsup". I actually read that in the voice of a toddler that couldn't say ketchup right yet.

well it sounds like SauceySarah is saucy about her sauces.

Yeah, when I read "catsup" I didn't think fancy. I thought "person who is really weird for not calling it 'ketchup'."

conholio33 28

#62 i agree .... Its KETCHUP not 'catsup'

I read catsoup -.- mm lovely..

Saucy Sara not so saucy after all!!

Catsup and ketchup are both commonly used words for what is commonly know as ketchup. It's even spelled "catchup" by some people. It all depends on your region.

Saucy Sara sells sea shells by the sea shore...

I agree its ketchup BUT there are bottles that say "catsup" so therefore some people say it that way since its written that way.

Ketchup (also catsup, tomato sauce, or red sauce) is a sweet-and-tangy food sauce. From wikipidia

^ thanks for going to all that trouble

99) Damn it, Sara! I thought I told you to stop being so saucy when you're selling sea shells by the sea shore, you whore! ..... I need help.

I wouldn't be surprised if it did cause cancer.

Well you don't seem suprised.

17- that's what he said

Given all the artificial crap it's loaded with... I wouldn't be surprised either.

And that is why there are nutrition facts...

Don't be condescending your Mother. You probably can get cancer from ketchup. As well as sooooo many other things. It's a scary world.

I hope porn doesn't give you cancer... If it does the majority of Earth is fucked.

If I were her, I'd rather have the cancer. How else am I supposed to keep my burgers and French fries from being dry?

That isn't even funny. Cancer is horrible and nothing to joke about.

A lot of things are horrible dear. And since I'm pretty sure ketchup isn't a known cause for cancer (what with me eating it all the time, and have been for as long as I can remember), I see fit to make a joke. My apologies if you don't share my humor.

What kind of world is it where we can't joke about cancer without repercussions?!

I'm sorry legitkitty, but fries are fucking delicious.

48 - if that's what would make you feel better. -_-

I do have a sense of humor, just not when it comes to cancer. :)

Why not? Everyone has cancer cells in their body. Any one of us could be diagnosed with it at any time. Why not laugh about it?

Kimmi - Lots of people use humour to lighten an otherwise dark topic. I had a patient with colon cancer who made jokes about it constantly - it was his (and my) coping mechanism. Lighten up.

Congratulations, I just recently lost my grandfather to mesothelioma and I saw how much pain and suffering he went through. So as of right now I don't joke about that. Doesn't mean I'm a miserable person in general, because I'm not. but when you lose a loved one and the fact that it was recently, I don't have the heart to joke about it. Especially considering what I saw it put him through.

I mean, I had assumed you'd recently lost somebody which is why you're acting this way. That's the only reason I didn't comment earlier and give you the whole "nothing is sacred in humor" lecture. Don't take it too harshly or personally. No one was trying to target you. I come from a family with a history of cancer, and I often worry about it because I was always the sickly child out of the five of us. I had a tumor earlier this year, and for a good few weeks the doctor couldn't tell me for sure if it was benign or not (it ended up being benign, thank goodness), so to lighten things up both for me and my family, I joked about it. Named the fucker Rick Santorum. Anyways, I know since your grandfather's death is still a fresh wound, you're going to be touchy about it for a bit. I understand that. Just don't take things too personally, and let people have their fun. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm guessing Kimmi doesn't like South Park, considering the amount of dark humor.

Actually I love south park. This is just a touchy subject for me.

"Very clearly"? Did you say; "mom its just ketchup"? What do you know about ketchup?