By Jarman - United States - Columbus
  Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
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  Trisha_aus  |  15

Disappointingly? You do know when your body releases said molten lava you're not going to feel good...I don't think anyone likes the blast..and I'm sure you'll get many other opportunities for some sexy time.

  music_woman1  |  11

Just came back from Portugal where me and my friends used "Me Gusta" against every stranger, not knowing if it was actually Spanish or Italian.. Good times :)

By  rsunshine2020  |  13

Well at least it wasn't in front of the girl... Then there would be no next time. Now at least, you might have a second chance. Just pretending you were playing hard to get.

By  perdix  |  29

That's what you get for following your gut instead of thinking with your dick. She might have been into scat, so your digestive problems could have been an ass-et.

I foresee an epic mudslide in your near future. (it's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss and a win.)