Love: Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining... - FML

By notgivingup - 01/10/2012 03:21 - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 717

You deserved it 1 985

Batman

Facebook's moderation sucks

Anyone there?

By Anonymous - 08/10/2016 13:20 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, a classmate found out I have a boyfriend. He said, "Really? YOU??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 870

You deserved it 1 813

By gymnasticscoach - 25/03/2009 04:45 - United States

Today, a kid I coach on a regular basis was talking to me about what I did outside of work. After we were done with the conversation, she told me with a straight face that I need to get a life and get a boyfriend. She's 10. And she's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 883

You deserved it 9 929

By Decker - 14/02/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 997

You deserved it 5 521

By what - 11/06/2015 22:46 - United States - Livermore

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 2 096

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 15:20 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 698

You deserved it 4 656

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 068

You deserved it 6 461

By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 390

You deserved it 9 843

By Anonymous - 30/06/2013 10:58 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 572

You deserved it 20 098

Same

By Anonymous - 08/01/2015 14:24 - Estonia - Tallinn

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 859

You deserved it 6 050

By stupidneighbor - 04/03/2009 17:03 - United States

Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 041

You deserved it 3 511

Relaxing

By juliannamelissa - 06/09/2012 06:38 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 262

You deserved it 9 563

By oops123 - 16/07/2012 14:38 - United States

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 211

You deserved it 29 309

By Anonymous - 20/04/2017 18:00

Today, my Darwin Award-nominated cousin got himself admitted to the hospital because he substituted the hammer and screwdriver for a meat tenderizer and a knife when he couldn't find the toolbox. The one I clearly labeled "TOOLS" in giant letters to avoid this situation from happening again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 105

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 24/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 208

You deserved it 622

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 393

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 25/04/2019 04:00

Today, it's been a week and a half since our hot water stopped working. Our landlord said he'll get on to it "in 3 days", after having said this already a few days before. I have to wash myself with a bucket and boiled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 158

By eeeee - 14/06/2012 20:40 - United States

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 344

You deserved it 2 691

By thatssickkk - 17/02/2010 06:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 2 701

By daddysboy123 - 06/08/2009 15:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 595

You deserved it 4 891

By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 628

You deserved it 8 964

By pancakessdsjsn - 27/09/2013 06:04 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 396

You deserved it 3 093

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 700

You deserved it 9 548

By demispark - 24/04/2013 14:10 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 242

You deserved it 4 830

By Dumbblonde - 03/05/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 506

You deserved it 16 877

By failure - 29/07/2011 06:19 - United States

Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 822

You deserved it 15 762

Stuck in the middle with you

By Carrie - 28/03/2020 02:00

Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 259

Thanks Boris!

By Ella - 15/01/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after Boris made his Monday night lockdown announcement, my husband announced that no way can he handle another lockdown stuck in the house with me and two teenagers, so he drove all night to our static caravan and insists he’s staying there alone until lockdown is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 162

Slicey slicey

By tas2013kid - 01/12/2020 17:03 - Taiwan

Today, I found out I had three strands of pubic hair beside my nipple, so I decided to cut it off with a scissor since I'm going swimming tomorrow. In an attempt to cut off my third strand, I instead excised the cap of my left nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 1 064

By phlyingphuck - 31/08/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 574

You deserved it 7 859

By brokedad - 10/05/2013 01:41 - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 563

You deserved it 7 344

By moe - 27/05/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 658

You deserved it 7 703

Barf

By epicfailureismyl - 05/04/2018 15:00

Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 503

You deserved it 896

By Anonymous - 29/06/2011 23:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 786

You deserved it 7 341

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 397

You deserved it 4 636

By Ashley - 07/09/2010 16:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 468

You deserved it 25 197

By soccerlove09 - 11/10/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 919

You deserved it 6 339

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 665

You deserved it 10 153

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 14:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 363

You deserved it 7 634

By manda8484 - 01/11/2016 05:12 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I've been crushing on for a while. When he dropped me off, I said thank you and that we should do it again sometime. He replied, "Yeah, maybe next Halloween." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 703

You deserved it 792

By Anonymous - 24/09/2013 07:23 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 124

You deserved it 2 347

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:00

I wish this had more details, but hope he doesn't violate the restraining order.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:02

Yeah, definitely would've liked more details for this. How messed up does a boyfriend's father have to be...

Comments

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:00

I wish this had more details, but hope he doesn't violate the restraining order.

onlychildFTW 33

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:16

Yeah let's hope it keeps him away. And I also wish there was a reason why OP got the restraining order.

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:32

12, the FML implies that OP is the judge that gave him it. It's a bit odd, since I thought the judge was not supposed to have any kind of connection to the accused.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:39

OP could also be a process server.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:41

15: Sorry, but it's not implying that. Serving someone is filing for and them receiving a restraining order or any notice stemming from Civil Court, a lot of times by court processors. . But hey, who says their occupation can't be a judge too tho right? :)

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:43

Ah, 20 beat me to it!

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:54

You're right, my mistake. I should probably try learning about the court system from something other than Hollywood films.

zango1 15

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Monday 1 October 2012 10:05

Impossible to say whether it's an FML or YDI without knowing the circumstances.

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Monday 1 October 2012 12:16

Like 20 said, he's most likely a process server.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:00

Definitely FYL, OP. That's just... Messed up.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:33

Must have been so awkward for op!

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:37

Imagine Christmas...

lebronesque73091 12

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Monday 1 October 2012 10:14

That will certainly complicate things. Hope everything works out though.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:01

You're boyfriend couldn't get the message across to him?

ifknh8usernames 7

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:07

You are boyfriend?

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Monday 1 October 2012 10:26

You lack intelligence. He couldn't serve his own father because the Judge frowns upon this. It will cause chaos. Attorneys always tell their clients (Respondent or Petitioner) not to do so unless you want to invite conflict of interest into your court case. It maybe likely that the father and son don't get along. By him serving his father calls for conflict of interest. I know this because I've studied the Law for 2 years.

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Monday 1 October 2012 12:04

34- I think you took this a little too literal... First: She probably means; Why didn't the boyfriend handle it himself? It's his father, so he should have talked to his father to get him to stop or threatened him. Second: Something tells me he did, and it didn't work. If you have to go as far as a restraining order, it's usually because you've tried all the other methods and it didn't work.

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Monday 1 October 2012 12:25

34 Dafuq?

dbt88 15

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Tuesday 2 October 2012 8:50

Will someone please point out to me where it says OP's boyfriend is the one who filed for a restraining order? It'd be weird no matter who the petitioner is.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:02

Yikes... Same here :$

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Monday 1 October 2012 11:57

Really?

TourettesGuyFTW 25

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Monday 1 October 2012 22:56

4- what's your deal with OP's father?!

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Tuesday 2 October 2012 2:07

I didn't know that 14 year olds could issue restraining orders.

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Tuesday 2 October 2012 2:49

Loool, that wasnt my comment... My friend was using my phone and posted that

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:02

Yeah, definitely would've liked more details for this. How messed up does a boyfriend's father have to be...

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:03

That's going to be one hell of an awkward Thanksgiving dinner.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:32

I would've thought the wedding would be worse...

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Monday 1 October 2012 14:45

No Christmas gift for u then miss sensitive

TrippingOnAcid 29

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:08

Oh dear, who's he been stalking?

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:22

The OP. Obviously.

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:34

Probably not, 14, because to "serve" means to issue the restraining order, implying that OP was actually the judge.

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:49

Never minfd, turns out I'm completely wrong. I downvoted myself in shame like a true internet samurai.

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Monday 1 October 2012 11:07

No the OP served the restraining order they didn't file it....obviously.

RedPillSucks 31

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Monday 1 October 2012 18:20

Yeah. It's really not that clear. OP could have served the restraining order, or caused one to be served, by filing it.

LemonandLime 13

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:09

It might be that the OP is a judge, the wording here of "serving" him one rather than getting one out against him makes me think that.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:10

This FML just begs for more details.

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Monday 1 October 2012 9:13

The lack of details is killing me

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Tuesday 2 October 2012 1:33

Op MUST make a commenting appearance in this one!

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 35

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 70

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 716