How could you not realize that you were bitten by a bunch of ants, and that you wiped your face with them?

Read the FML again. He clearly realized that he was bitten, AFTER he wiped his face with the towel.

Did you know you had a red ant infestation? If you did wouldn't you have been more careful about things you use to wipe with?

Hey at least you don't need to wear blush tomorrow!

How could you pick up a towel covered in ants and not realize it? Or why at the first bite did you not stop wiping?

Neat/really awful fact about fire ants - they don't bite individually. They synchronize so that they start biting at the same time so they can send a bigger message. The "first bite" may well have been a dozen bites at once.

She may not have opened her eyes, I keep mine closed while washing to keep soap out, and often grab the towel with my eyes still closed so water doesn't run in them. Granted I am paranoid about spiders so I always shake out/check my towel before washing....

I hate fire ants with a passion. My old house's yard in North Carolina was infested with them. Those things fucking hurt, I can't even imagine a ton of them biting my face.

How long have that towel been hanging there?

That bites

Burn it!!!

It's a shame to be attacked by the beloved spicy bois. Hopefully your clientele and bosses will understand

I sympathize with you. When I was little I stepped in a fire ant hill and got covered. It was so awful I am terrified of ants to this day. I hope you feel better soon and call an exterminator.