By emancipate my ass - 24/07/2016 04:02

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 689
You deserved it 1 570

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Cheaters make my blood boil.

OP you gotta get your confidence up. People find it sexy. As for your dad, hopefully karma comes for him soon...


Cheaters make my blood boil.

Ebola makes my blood boil!

nunu's w makes my blood boil

212 degrees Fahrenheit makes my blood boil.

Hahaha good LoL reference!

"Baby, it didn't mean anything.... You gotta believe me!" was the line i used. . . . . . my cat gets REALLY jealous when I pet others.

Teemo makes my blood boil

Considering the kind words you use to describe your father, an ungrateful cunt like you deserves every bit of it. You're 24 and still living with your father. I suggest you work up to get your own place before thinking of getting laid.

The answer to that riddle? Confidence, my boy.

OP you gotta get your confidence up. People find it sexy. As for your dad, hopefully karma comes for him soon...

This is always the advice, but I'm afraid it's really not that useful. "Confidence" is far more a personal characteristic than it is something you can consciously choose. Indeed, knowing the importance of confidence, and also that you don't possess it, can result in further insecurity.

Fake it till you make it. It is possible - but hard - to increase your confidence.

you'd be surprised how right 62 is, it will change the way you think dramatically.

Rat him out to his gf

Don't you dare "rat him out" to ANYONE, OP. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY likes or respects a rat. And ☝️this person ☝should know that!

well at least your dad is getting a raise, which means a higher allowance for you. hopefully you still get allowance

His dad probably is getting a raise, but not the thing you're thinking of.

Your dad is scum, and the women he's cheating on his girlfriend with are equally scum. I'd rather be a decent human being than have sex. Don't worry OP, someone will come along for you.

nightingale21 7

They're scum if they know.

I'd rather be a decent human being then* have sex

10/10 best wording

"His married boss" even if they didnt theyre cheating too

#28 I was about to say you were a failed abortion of two grammar Nazis.

Maybe 28 actually means it like that. First he'd like to be a human being, then he'd like to have sex.

hahaha 28 if you're gonna take the time to correct someone's grammar on the Internet, and least be right about it. jeez

#28 made a joke that no one seems to have understood. Rather than be a decent human being with no sex, they want to be a decent human being and then have sex. #28 didn't correct the grammar so much as make a play on words over then/than.

F his girlfriend's life too. Chin up OP, it'll happen for you!

"Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date..." If you want sex without a date, find a pro. But personally I find meaningless sex, well.... meaningless.

You don't need to find a pro to have sex without a date.

"Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it." Yes. Some people can get sex without dates. But based on OP's post, OP isn't one of them.

You're 24, OP. Why is your username "emancipate my ass"?

Maybe they've had their account since before they turned 18, it's plausible with how long the sites been out

I said username, but FML also has nicknames. Usernames cannot contain spaces and are permanent, but nicknames can and are customizable when you write a new FML. Regardless of username, the OP chose the nickname "emancipate my ass" while submitting this story as a 24-year old.

Then maybe they're referring to the fact that they're still living at home at 24? Why does it matter so much

I never said it did matter; I just thought it was an odd choice of phrase. Then you responded. Twice.

It matters because he is 24. No emancipation necessary, just get a job and get out. There's no reason why he has to stay at home at 24 if he doesn't want to. It's up to OP to make his way in the world, starting with not living with his dad if he doesn't want to live with him.