Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems.... - FML

By Catherine - 23/5/2011 19:33 - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36368

You deserved it

3179

Tweet

Share

Live dumping

Weird kid

Everyone's an expert

By Julie - 25/3/2015 05:42 - Denmark - F?rup

Today, it's been three months since my sister broke her car, meaning she couldn't get to work, and I've giving her money every month so she could buy food and so on. I just found out that her workplace is less than 200 metres from where she lives. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32157

You deserved it

5115

Tweet

Share

By disappoint - 8/12/2011 09:14 - United States

Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31968

You deserved it

3755

Tweet

Share

By Plume - 23/12/2008 07:43 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24535

You deserved it

2309

Tweet

Share

By boyfriendless - 10/4/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66741

You deserved it

6138

Tweet

Share

By EveOnRoad - 5/5/2019 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 9 years rode with his mother after boot camp graduation. She acts more like a jealous lover than a mom, so I'm currently chasing them all over Chicago in a blizzard, with her refusing to stop the car so he can see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1890

You deserved it

217

Tweet

Share

By no boobies - 29/5/2013 16:39 - United States

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52620

You deserved it

4351

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/1/2015 01:08 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26844

You deserved it

17185

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/1/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32972

You deserved it

4245

Tweet

Share

By wowthanksworld - 22/3/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37831

You deserved it

3234

Tweet

Share

By omgreally91 - 12/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11535

You deserved it

30248

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/10/2016 19:01 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while checking my voicemail, I noticed I had received one from a job that I've been trying to get in for months. Too bad they called two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7861

You deserved it

8699

Tweet

Share

By blawbo - 18/2/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58524

You deserved it

9194

Tweet

Share

By aroman2312 - 6/9/2011 21:33 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25148

You deserved it

2086

Tweet

Share

By missPiggy - 26/10/2015 08:27 - Norway

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35759

You deserved it

2226

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/3/2013 03:08 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34835

You deserved it

3057

Tweet

Share

By gmian - 6/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20330

You deserved it

10920

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/7/2014 01:36 - United States - Coeur D Alene

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49433

You deserved it

4800

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/9/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31451

You deserved it

2931

Tweet

Share

By Maxx - 7/3/2010 03:56 - United States

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9596

You deserved it

22192

Tweet

Share

By Invisible - 15/6/2017 22:00

Today, I realized how little my husband, son and I mean to my in-laws. We were somehow left off the distribution list for my sister-in-law's birthday party. I even texted her to wish her well. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the fifth consecutive family event we were left out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3714

You deserved it

307

Tweet

Share

By HateTheBus - 18/3/2019 02:00

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. I went to pull the cord to request a stop when the driver slammed on the breaks to avoid running a red light, causing me to get thrown out of my seat and slide down the aisle and hit my head on a pole by the front of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2291

You deserved it

192

Tweet

Share

By SummerGirl0009 - 23/8/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35032

You deserved it

3770

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/7/2020 20:01

A ghost

Today, I'm stuck in quarantine and my friends are planning stuff like swimming without me in our group chat, instead of doing it in another chat group. It's like I don't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1253

You deserved it

327

Tweet

Share

By John - 21/10/2014 00:29 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44242

You deserved it

14374

Tweet

Share

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12577

You deserved it

700

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25484

You deserved it

3489

Tweet

Share

By Zero_TAlent_ - 29/3/2016 20:27 - United States - Gettysburg

Today, the drummer from my band stole the $200 deposit for our rental practice space and used it for a trip down to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours ago, my brother and I found him passed out in his cousin's house, very hungover. His first words to us were, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

18272

You deserved it

1593

Tweet

Share

By unsuccessful popping - 18/6/2015 20:09 - United States - Tappan

Today, a woman bitched me out at the grocery store, saying that since I'm not Indian, I shouldn't be wearing a bindi - a red dot on my forehead - because it's "cultural appropriation". I was too embarrassed to tell her it was actually a pimple I'd been trying to pop on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32172

You deserved it

2822

Tweet

Share

By Rosie - 16/10/2018 12:00

Today, I discovered that you can vomit hard enough to break a rib and tear a ligament. Why was I barfing so violently? The stray cat I'm feeding has given me worms. I found one during "down there cleanup" time. I got laughed at by EMS, nurses, doctors, and my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2491

You deserved it

508

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/4/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, and best friend, had baked a cake, and wouldnt tell anyone who it was for. When I asked he said I'd know soon. He met me after class to break up with me and offered me the cake to make me feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70028

You deserved it

3558

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/7/2019 16:00

Today, my youngest of four children turned 18. It was also the same day that my ex-wife called to tell me that after 18 years of paying child support, I wasn't the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2611

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By sarah_sad - 25/3/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

70543

You deserved it

16672

Tweet

Share

By leem - 27/8/2014 21:21 - Belgium - Zoersel

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41452

You deserved it

3192

Tweet

Share

By sleepylillion - 25/4/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14130

You deserved it

1485

Tweet

Share

By wtfmama - 4/5/2013 12:51 - United States - Hudson

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks

74038

You deserved it

11145

Tweet

Share

By Odds in my favour - 14/3/2018 15:00

Today, I put out a public ad for a dancing buddy. No pictures, just a brief description of what I was looking for. A guy answered and we started chatting. The more he revealed, the more familiar he sounded. Yep! That's him! My stalker from 10 years ago. Guess I have to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4603

You deserved it

369

Tweet

Share

By breyn - 18/2/2015 19:48 - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35430

You deserved it

2417

Tweet

Share

By greatly disturbed - 7/3/2015 19:09 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42440

You deserved it

4295

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/1/2018 19:00

Today, I got my period during my dance solo. My costume was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5441

You deserved it

391

Tweet

Share

By wtffireworks! - 26/5/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34111

You deserved it

18473

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ihatecake | 0

#2555622 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:56

people these days all about money

By imacreeper | 3

#2555658 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:04

we just want to make the world dance. forget about the price tag.

COMMENTS

By fuzzyrat1 | 4

#2555621 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:56

first

Reply

imacreeper | 3

#2555634 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:59

congrats! you have one the prize of my middle finger. buy one get one free bitch :D

By ihatecake | 0

#2555622 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:56

people these days all about money

Reply

imacreeper | 3

#2555658 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:04

we just want to make the world dance. forget about the price tag.

Reply

juliahockey | 0

#2555692 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:11

ain't about the cha ching ca ching, ain't about the bla blang bla blang!

Reply

DudeImBetter | 0

#2555731 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:25

money goes, believe that

Reply

chuckychan | 8

#2555825 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:01

AFFFFLAAAACC!

Reply

EvilPotato | 14

#2556408 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 5:00

I don't understand how she could deserve it, it's not like that's what she wanted, they should take "YDI" off for FMLs that they didn't deserve at all.

Reply

Eggers | 2

#2556477 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 5:20

people have ALWAYS cared about money throughout history dude.

Reply

KiddNYC1O | 20

#2556495 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 5:29

^ Yeah, cavemen were so eager to make an extra buck to pay rent.

Reply

Predental | 5

#2556549 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 5:45

Thats the correct way to do business.

Reply

Eggers | 2

#2556706 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:33

70- and look where that got them

Reply

ihatecake | 0

#2556821 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:33

68 not as much as back then though, compare our economies, but yeah i see your point and wtf im second comment even though no ones before me?

Reply

atomicbaboon | 0

#2556961 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 9:32

duh! you think the wheel was made to make moving things easier?? NO! it was made by some genius economist who knew he could make a quick buck... or in this case, shell or whatnot.

Reply

Bassmasterclassi | 2

#2557921 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 16:44

someone has to pay for that medical bill

By ewmoldycheese | 14

#2555625 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:57

did the nurse buy some?

Reply

cocobulla1 | 4

#2556722 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:35

lol

By flipstar530 | 0

#2555628 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:58

dd u say anything....or scream perhaps

Reply

aback | 4

#2555858 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:11

Must have lost her power of speech, too.

Reply

cocobulla1 | 4

#2556727 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:37

lmao, when something happens to ur eye, of course ur speaking skillz are affected! *sarcasm* if u didnt already know

By futtbuck101 | 1

#2555631 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 0:58

Well how do you think she's gonna pay for the medical bills?

Reply

antoinemartinez | 0

#2559166 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 23:35

let me smang it girl (smash it and bang) haha this has nothing to do with the fml but I love the song from yur pic

By PrickHead | 0

#2555637 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:01

your mom will pay, you'll see

By ClussmyLilFreak | 9

#2555638 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:01

You didn't say anything for 10 whole minutes?

Reply

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#2556787 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:57

I creep on newbies.

Welcome to FML. Enjoy your stay, don't piss KaySL off for the love of god, and feel free to pick on gayboii.

The cake is a lie, we only have pie. Sorry.

Reply

atomicbaboon | 0

#2556963 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 9:36

come, join me and kaySL on the darkside. we have cookies! and cake. >:)

By indistructo | 3

#2555641 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:02

you should have said something... seriously

By shortie916 | 0

#2555645 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:03

How do you think that your going to pay for your eye? Aflac

By degrassilover21 | 2

#2555664 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:06

Why didn't you say anything? I mean I couldn't wait 10 minutes hearing people talking about Aflac while I'm blond in one eye.

Reply

SirWrangler | 5

#2555881 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 2:20

*blind

Reply

joooeee | 3

#2556156 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 3:42

no, judging from her comment I'm pretty sure she's blonde

Reply

kc1997kc | 9

#2556369 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 4:51

What is with the freaking blond jokes? I am a blond and bet I have a much higher IQ than any of the idiotic immature miscreants who say rude things like that!

Reply

AttucisFinch | 0

#2556596 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:00

PMS #60 or do you always go all crazy bitch?

Reply

livin_plur | 0

#2556642 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:12

Foreal it's called a blonde JOKE for a reason. learn how to laugh!

Reply

ugliness | 6

#2557674 - Tuesday 24 May 2011 15:22

learn to laugh at yourself, I learned to laugh at Ginger jokes and the Scottish part in rwj's stereotype song, you should be able to accept insulting humour

Reply

iEnvade | 2

#2559813 - Wednesday 25 May 2011 2:50

Miscreants... lol. And no one here cares how blonde OR smart you are. If you have such a high IQ why aren't you out finding a cure for cancer? Back in the kitchen, bitch!