Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
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Top comments
By
nnnope
| 26
urine trouble now
By
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.
COMMENTS
By
nnnope
| 26
urine trouble now
Reply
naxeeb
| 33
Hope you don't re-pee-t it!
Reply
ladyLALAA
| 28
I bet you were really pissed off!
Reply
nnnope
| 26
it's better to be pissed off than pissed on
unfortunately OP was both
unfortunately OP was both
Reply
kiwienne
| 21
I pee-ty you
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Gee whizz. Urea idiot. For renal.
Reply
Roskosity
| 22
Aww poo...
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
20- your pun is crap, and it stinks. Try again, I hope number 2 is better.
Reply
byFate
| 5
Damn that would put me into a pissy mood
Reply
i_h8t_everything
| 12
Just give me a wee moment to fix my zipper
By
naxeeb
| 33
Drinks lots of fluid and then start over maybe? O_o
Reply
morella_xx
| 29
I think having to come up with another urine sample is a lesser problem compared to indirectly peeing all over himself.
Reply
M_Rainbow
| 7
I suggest “squeeze”
Reply
gc327072
| 29
"You heard me; SQUEEZE…THE LEMON."
By
ironichalibut
| 24
Somehow? Admit it, you wanted a golden shower with a bunch of nurses around. You could always drink as much water as possible without vomiting and wait a bit again too, as annoying as that is.
By
SasaCeceGogo
| 18
Brace yourselves, urine puns are coming.
Reply
ironichalibut
| 24
Avast ready the lemon colored water levies!
Reply
Shenanigans9
| 8
Brace yourselves, urine for some bad puns.
Reply
lolfood
| 24
Do those jokes piss you off? Urine trouble then.
By
Epikouros
| 31
Don't worry: if you can't pee, the nurse will simply ram a blunt needle through your dick in order to pump the piss out of your bladder.
Reply
SMHsohard
| 22
Ok, to clear up a common misconception, a catheter is not a needle, it's a length of flexible tubing used to drain urine from the bladder.
For rude or ignorant patients, we like to use the garden hose sized variety. And, oops, forgot to lube it.
For rude or ignorant patients, we like to use the garden hose sized variety. And, oops, forgot to lube it.
Reply
monnanon
| 13
seems a bit extreme for a urine test. cant the paitents take a cup home and hand one in later or return to the clinic another day rather than getting a catheter in.
Reply
ekb777
| 13
If they took it home I think there would be the chance that people would submit urine that was not their own. They probably could just come back though
Reply
SMHsohard
| 22
#43-Yeah, that's not going to happen for a routine physical. 2-3 glasses of water and a 20 minute wait should do it.
Moral of the story: don't let yourself get dehydrated before you have labs done; even if you're supposed to fast, you can drink water. Makes things a lot easier.
Moral of the story: don't let yourself get dehydrated before you have labs done; even if you're supposed to fast, you can drink water. Makes things a lot easier.
Reply
monnanon
| 13
when i went for a routine physical i was able to take the sample bottle home there was even once that they sent it out to me so i could bring it in with me when i attended the docs next. must be different rules over here.
i think the threat of a cathater would have me filling the sample bottle rather quickly tho.
i think the threat of a cathater would have me filling the sample bottle rather quickly tho.
Reply
CharresBarkrey
| 15
If it's not a drug test they will just send you home with the cup. Getting someone else's urine wouldn't help you if you're being tested for an infection.
Reply
SMHsohard
| 22
51-I've actually had it happen, especially with surgical patients. Mention "catheter" and it scares the piss outta them. Or, maybe it's the evil laugh, who knows?
By
Sandsh8rk
| 36
That's piss-poor performance from you.
Reply
M3DIC4T3
| 29
I'd hate to see what would happen if OP was required to give a feces sample.
By
lalala1896
| 6
You're in a wee bit of trouble
By
abirdgotshot
| 13
Now that you are done in by p. Get back in q, perhaps another 20 minutes will do the trick.
By
zombieladi
| 14
ask to reschedule
By
monkeyy100
| 15
Time to go back in the restroom again! LOL