Miscellaneous: Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she... - FML

By daddy's girl - United States - Springfield

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

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Dementia or hate? You decide

Our house, in the middle of our street

Insurance is a scam

By hail

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML

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By oopsie - Canada

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, I bought a treadmill as part of my goal to get fit for summer. It doesn't look like it's going to get much use, seeing as how I sprained my ankle trying to get it in my doorway. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2020 22:56 - United States - Ashburn

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML

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By that was mine - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

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By still learning - Canada

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

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By dumbgirl4lyf - Ireland - Monaghan

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

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By sickofthisshit - United States - Oceanside

Today, I nearly got written up for "publicly humiliating" a coworker. All because I left a note in the restroom asking whoever keeps peeing all over the floor to please be considerate of other people. FML

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By Groom - France

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/1/2021 02:01

We need details!

Today, was an absolute mess. It began with getting a towel caught on my nose ring and ended with my car catching on fire. FML

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By clutzymama - Canada - Woodbridge

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

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By danam - Canada

Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML

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By awkwardencounters - United States - Belleville

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

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By fuck's sake - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went to a karaoke bar for the first time. I'd never sung in front of others, but I gave it a try. I was accused of being way too drunk and was asked to leave. I didn't get kicked out in the end, but I was told that my singing voice sounds like a dying goat. FML

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By notaprossie - South Africa

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

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By ThirdWheelHell - United States - Farmville

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML

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By no no no - United States - Simi Valley

Game of Nope

Today, while watching Game of Thrones, my boyfriend remarked that he doesn't think that "sibling incest is a big deal" and doesn't "get why it's illegal." He has 2 sisters. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - California

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

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By ScaryBears - United States - Trumbull

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

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By Oops - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

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By maisie

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

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By DyingOfShame - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his grandparents' house. It said, 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and toothbrushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

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By Jamie - Denmark

Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

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By thankspops - United States

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

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By Kayak - United Kingdom

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

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By Jessika - United Kingdom

Today, I finished a ballet class with a group of seven-and-unders. Afterwards, a new student's mother came up to me and thanked me, saying she was glad that her daughter had a "role model with a, ahem, fuller figure" and "not to worry about my weight." I have never thought I was fat before. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to spend £200 at the dentist for fillings and repairs to my teeth. Why do I need them? Because I'm stressed about money and grind my teeth in the night because of it. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

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By monkey - United States - Logan

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

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By Lala - Philippines

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Brossard

Today, I sent an email to my teacher asking if a source was a primary source, he replied yes. I got my grade back for my essay and it was worse than I expected. My teacher said it was because I didn't use a primary source. I showed him the email, to which he replied, "Well, I was wrong in the email." FML

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By flowerchildd2 - United States

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

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Top comments

By CueTheMusic | 22

#5334641 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:21

That's kinda cute in a grandparent and it could be worse, a lot of old people are racist!

By FreakoHolm | 6

#5334637 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:19

At least she apologised. Could be worse, she could have asked them to apologise for... well, anything.

COMMENTS

By FreakoHolm | 6

#5334637 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:19

At least she apologised. Could be worse, she could have asked them to apologise for... well, anything.

Reply

adamo_erebus | 25

#5334660 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:42

OP's grandma sounds a lot better than all the other evil ones we hear about on this sites, tbh.

Reply

Puffytruffles | 18

#5334664 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:44

She was the one apologising.. She didn't ask for anything.

By greenishyellow | 5

#5334639 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:20

Was she personally involved?

By hopelessteej | 8

#5334640 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:20

did she offer fried chicken along with her condolences?

By CueTheMusic | 22

#5334641 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:21

That's kinda cute in a grandparent and it could be worse, a lot of old people are racist!

By alexhaz64 | 4

#5334642 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:21

Apologizing is better than the opposite...

By MrSarary | 26

#5334643 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:23

Sounds innocent enough .. She was just making small talk

By qirde_15 | 5

#5334646 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:26

abraham lincoln could have given her a medal for that deed

By krash357_fml | 7

#5334647 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:27

She's right to apologise OP even if it's not directly her fault. People love taking credit for their ancestors' good deeds but take no responsibility for their bad deeds.

By shaagy2760 | 13

#5334651 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:30

Could have been worse she could of tried to treat them like a slave

By LovesSushi | 25

#5334653 - Tuesday 22 January 2013 11:32

At least she didn't call the cops and say they were trying to give her a bath.