By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 966
You deserved it 2 877

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Gloritank 8

Were you pissin on his territory?

tylersign 11

Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.


No offence but haha

What a bitch... See what I did there?

ceilingfans 1

I see what you did there.

Streeet_hayley 6

You should have ripped a branch off the tree to see if the dog would fetch. Then you could have booked it

It seems *sunglasses* it's barking up the wrong tree.

LiyIa_fml 8

Haha, this FML made my day.

Aha you must have looked ridiculous up in that tree

Llama_Face89 33


If you are male you should have asserted your dominance and not been afraid of a dog. If you are female then the dog probably could have hurt you so I don't blame you.

Unless you are young or just a scrawny dude. That would also make it ok.

tjv3 10

that why guns were invented and concealed lic are available

#94: You are swine. I feel ashamed to share your gender you disgusting excuse for a male.

Gloritank 8

Were you pissin on his territory?

Dog gotta impress the ladies, showin' off his manliness

Or dogginess?

I show off my pokemon card collection as a demonstration of my manliness. Needless to say i've mastered the art of picking up women

tylersign 11

Should have gotten off his damn lawn. Kids and their shenanigans these days.

I hate dogs because of their ignorant owners. If I had a nickel for every dog that attacked me after it's owner said it was kind and gentle, I'd have quite a few nickels.

That's why I hate some people. I love dogs. A dog is only as good as it's owner/s make it.

goobergirlie 5

How often are you attacked by dogs? Most dogs will just growl. More than likely you pulled some stupid, asshole move and messed with it. Saying you hate dogs because of their owners is like saying you hate kids because of their bad parents. It's not their fault they were raised like that.

every1luvsboners 11

Iskaira, no matter how good, nice, well rounded a dog owner is there are breeds that are more pronged to attack and more aggressive than others. Hence certain breeds are not allowed in particular countries/states.

goobergirlie 5

32- even if they are more PRONE to attack, they rarely chase people up trees. They are just more likely to be confrontational. And the owner not apologizing to OP supports the claim that he hasn't raised the dog right. If they were good/nice they would have apologized.

32- Most places ban or won't allow certain breeds more out of ignorance and tv induced fear; I've owned all sorts of so called "aggressive" breeds and they were as cuddly as Teddy bears.

every1luvsboners 11

38, countries don't ban breeds because of TV or induced fear; it's called statistics. Thanks, gooberwhatever.

goobergirlie 5

Statistics from where? Here's a statistic, 80% of the public is prone to believe in tv and make shit up. It's probably more, but I decided to make up a number. That way neither of us researched.

39- statistics are high for certain breeds because they are better built and thus people train them in an aggressive way; no one ever trained a teacup chihuahua to fight :P

every1luvsboners 11

Now you're just being stupid goober. When you go to the hospital for a dog attack there's these things called questions that people ask regarding your injuries. These questions will include the breed of the dog. Then this person will take this information and put it into this little box called a computer and it will eventually go into a database with all the rest of the dog attack cases; sorting out each and every detail so that in the future dog attacks might be somewhat preventable.

goobergirlie 5

And how many people were telling the truth? See, for questions people have these things called answers. And answers can be whatever you want them to be. A lot of times a dog "attack" was a dog biting a person because that person was messing with them and the dog was defending itself. Most victims are prone to leave that out.

every1luvsboners 11

You really are a retard. You're basing your argument on something that you have no clue about. Why would anyone lie about the breed of a dog that attacked them anyways? Regardless of provoking the attack or not. I'm done with you, you're an idiot.

goobergirlie 5

Speaking of retarded, i said nothing about breed, but since you did: Most jackasses will see a dog thats supposed to be "vicious" and provoke it because they think it will attack. That is not the breed, that is instinct. And then the victim lies and says it "attacked" so people wont know they were being stupid.

every1luvsboners 11

Quit thumbing your own comment up, n00btard. You're obviously a 12 year old idiot that knows nothing. Go play on a highway.

goobergirlie 5

First of all, I thought you were done? Second, way to be mature. The "word" n00btard obviously shows you are able to debate with other adults. Way to go. How about you finish your fourth year of the 12th grade first?

Yeah, but you have to admit that some breeds are more aggressive than others. A Chihuahua is actually a very aggressive dog, but his bite will be less dangerous than that of a German Shepherd. And a German Shepherd is more aggressive than a Labrador. But Labradors cause most (small) injuries (because they are the popular family dog), whilst German Shepherds cause the biiiig injuries (and sometimes even death). It's true, a well-trained German Shepherd will cause (probably) no harm and a dog's bite is often human's fault, but you can't deny that some breeds are more or less aggressive. Oh, and I'm completely against forbidding some breeds in some countries.

ITT: goobergirlie failing immensely and being a hypocritical fuck

goobergirlie 5

54- I couldn't have said it better myself. :)

goobergirlie 5

55- I am being hypocritical. But I'm also using real words. What does n00btard even mean? Honestly.

It means you're a noob and a 'tard. Learn some colloquialisms, for fuck's sake.

every1luvsboners 11

n00btard = Someone that has no clue what in the hell they are talking about. Someone that goes around spouting shit with no facts to back their argument. Ex: Hey Bob, there's a girl on FML with the username goobergirlie, she's a real n00btard.

* starts handing around food and drinks while everyone watches the Goober V Boners fight* .. bring it on, yeah!

Having a wife that works at a vet, how many times do you think one of these "banned because they're statistically more violent" dogs bit someone there? 0. How many times have they been bit or attacked by a "friendly" breed? More than I can remember. Statistics for dog attacks are bs. No one ever goes to medical for a chihuahua or small breed attack. Also you'd be surprised how many different breeds people seem to think are "pit bulls." Ignorance is bliss and the dogs have to pay for it. I will concede that when a large dog has been mal-trained by it's owner, it can be quite ferocious and deadly. It's not the dogs fault.

every1luvsboners 11

Having a wife that works at a veterinarians office means nothing. Do people go there after being attacked by a dog? I didn't think so. Numbers don't lie.

Sorry but your wrong I have had to do bite reports due to small dogs and for a fact a pomerainian actually killed a baby a few years back small breeds are dangerous.

koolkat27 13

I hate dogs too, but it's not the dogs fault that the owner is an ass.

every1luvsboners 11

Regardless of what the breed is there's nothing to support anyone's claim of any misidentification of dogs. Post facts, not what you think or what you've heard. There are laws in place for a reason and I guarantee that it's not because of what people hear or watch on TV. It's because of statistics and trying to save people from random attacks.

Llama_Face89 33

32- I have friends with a pit bull. She is the friendliest dog I've met and a huge coward. It's entirely how the dog is raised that determines its behavior. Negative stereotypes about certain breeds are perpetuated by the media.

Statistics are shit. It's the owners fault not the dog. The end.

False a baby or a pup only knows what it is taught! So Bad owners teaches a dog to be bad, its not in it breed!

Dogs usually attack or are agressive(I don't think I spelled that right) if provoked or challenged, my dog isn't good around strangers, but won't make a sound or go near until someone does something stupid, like try to pet it, even if I warn them. (the breed is papillion, and the cutest thing ever).

o dear god the grammar

Report that son of a bitch

When a word starts with an 'h' followed by a vowel, it is actually correct to use 'an' rather than 'a'.

Nico_Belic 0

No pun intended.

Snafuusmc 12

Well it seems as if the dog was barking up the wrong tree. :D Well that...Bites!

sandythongs 1

should of pedobear dropped onto the owners face like a feral cat on charlie sheens boner

How did u come in contact with them?