Kids: Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 239

You deserved it 3 179

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 111

You deserved it 139

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 957

You deserved it 1 778

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 294

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 064

You deserved it 490

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 594

You deserved it 3 172

By Dirty - 23/02/2017 08:00 - Canada

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 356

You deserved it 555

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 952

You deserved it 428

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 539

You deserved it 6 647

Surprise!

By ilana - 10/02/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 3 346

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 945

You deserved it 463

Next

Top comments

LaydiexSkull 3

Monday 12 September 2011 2:20

How creative!(: He might grow up to be the next Picasso OP :p

lemonkittens 8

Monday 12 September 2011 2:24

Poop really captures the true essence of the color brown. Or green. It depends. Be grateful now he can draw you pretty pictures in beautiful, high quality colors.

Comments

grace14 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 1:54

What kind of kid job would force u too take care of such a shitty kid?!?! ??

j1nrake 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 2:03

Poocasso

iftheglovefits 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 3:21

There is always that one kid...

KillSwitch96 18

Tuesday 13 September 2011 5:12

The early stages of Poocasso's life!

snookster 2

Tuesday 13 September 2011 22:15

Lol

panderluver 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:02

glue the pretty picture to his face... then he'll stop.

Sinforme17 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 7:15

Hot.

Cmcnab1997 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 3:57

That must be a "crappy situation"

elizacandle 29

Monday 22 April 2013 11:03

He's just trying to recycle!

MadisonDerp 16

Saturday 15 June 2013 20:33

I bet your house/work smelled fantastic, work meaning if you worked at a daycare

4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relatable Relationship advice Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Family Money Birthday Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 19 265

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 555

You deserved it 3 953

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 133

You deserved it 18 026

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substitution cipher, using literary references. As they're both literature professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 049

You deserved it 2 544

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 401

You deserved it 3 276

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 368

You deserved it 5 372

Today, I found out that my mother has been pretending that I'm a woman so that she doesn't have to tell her colleagues that she has a gay son. Apparently this has been going on for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 823

You deserved it 995