By le_evan - 29/10/2012 20:49 - United States - Los Angeles
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Probably been awhile in which time he has also been crushing on her and building her up. Next time, cuddle up for awhile and let him recoup, then start kissing gently, building up, wandering hands, etc and the second time should last a lot longer unless his name is Jim and you are Nadia(?names?).
Or it's just one of those days. Some times ill only last a few minutes and somedays I just can't cum for an hour or more and just go until it hurts the girl too much. There are so many factors that cum into this whole cumming business. Maybe the dude was just having a good day?
That's what I was thinking, 1. My boyfriend probably lasted about a minute our first time, but he hadn't had sex in about a year. Now he lasts anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. And the same thing happened with my ex when I got back from boot camp. This COULD be a good thing, OP. It likely means he doesn't sleep around. You don't want to date a slut, do you?
141- I don't watch porn and I don't listen to bullshit. I'm not an idiot. I'm not saying that men should last hours upon hours. How stupid do you think I am? I know everyone is different but 15 - 30 minutes is what I think to be a regular amount of time. It's great if some women and men can get off in 2-7 minutes. Whatever. Maybe I've just been lucky to have a guy that is considerate and takes his time.
147- Let me restate. It is what I think SHOULD be the amount of time. I'm not denying that 2-7 is the average. I've had 2 long term boyfriends. I'm not an expert, nor did I claim to be. The current one is one I'd wish to keep. I'm no slut. Obviously, you don't have to be a slut to have sex. Other commenters have stated the average amount of time, getting their facts from, I don't know, studies that come from journals in the internet maybe? Brown university did one. I'm just saying that the average should be higher. Sex is good. Therefore, more sex is even better. But thanks for drawing a completely inaccurate conclusion from that one little comment.
Relationships are built on more than sex. You might need to reevaluate your attraction to him.
People who talk about sex not being important, aren't having sex. If the sex is really really bad, the relationship won't last no matter how much the people really like each other. Reason being someone will eventually cheat. Anyone who calls me out with an example of a sexless or bad sex relationship of over a year is being cheated on.
93 - I've been with my fiancé two years and we've never had sex. Neither of us has a discernible sex drive, though we enjoy watching porn together. My parents are together and love each other and haven't had sex in six years. Neither of them have ever cheated (trust me, there are no secrets in my family. We all know WAY too much about each other).
I agree that having sex is a healthy part of a relationship but I don't think sex should determine whether you stay with a person or not because sex can be improved upon. 95, I'm not sure what you hoped to accomplish by writing that since that is a rare example. In my opinion, sex is normal and healthy. It's not an "icky" taboo thing. Its actually rather fun when you're committed to someone. I've been with my bf for 4 years and nothing beats waking up on Monday morning with a good dose of morning sex to get the endorphins kicking. You're missing out ... but to each his own.
As *crazy* as this sounds, some people still like to wait until marriage to have sex, me and my boyfriend of almost 4 years being 2 of those people. I agree that while I'm sure a good sex life is important in marriage, I assure you it's not the only thing that matters. Maybe when me and my boyfriend get married we will have horrible chemistry in bed...won't know until it happens. Doesn't matter. Point is you can have a long, fabulous relationship with someone WITHOUT the sex!
Instead if all these assumptions, maybe the guy had a crush on her too and has been waiting for this moment for 5 years. And it is no secret if a guy has been waiting that long, to sexually be with his crush/date/girlfriend or whomever, that most likely he will orgasm very quickly. OP, give your crush a chance. This could easily be that he was overly excited, which you should take as a compliment.
153, I find the boy's dedications to be worth an applaud. I don't know anyone who is in a relationship for that long and hasn't had sex yet. if you have to force yourself to not have have sex because of moral or religious reasons then I believe it's wrong. It's just a biological function, except it's one of the more complex one which requires more careful evaluation. If you're with someone for 4 years and the thought of having sex has never bothered either of you then that's fine. Odd but still fine.
124 - I gave two examples (so four people) from my family alone, so it obviously isn't that "rare". Nor am I (or my parents) prudes or consider it "taboo" (where the hell did you get that out of what I wrote?). My fiancé and I simply have no sex drive. We get no pleasure from it and have no real desire for it. An asexual commented not long after me, so apparently, once again, it is not that "rare".
I think most of you are generalizing too much. Some people value sex more than others. Personally, if I don't have any kind of chemistry with someone in bed, it does affect the relationship. I find that connection to be an incredibly important one. However, others don't feel that way. They wait until marriage or something of the sort, and that's fine. Perfectly fine. Everyone's definition of a relationship is different, and everyone makes them work in different sorts of ways.
Some guys can't help it, I'm sure he feels even worse about it than you do
Yep 4, I'm one of "those guys." I don't have sex very often, so by the time I do, its like "OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!!!" What seperates a guy who finishes too quickly from a complete jackass is making sure to spend other time getting her off, or upfront, suggesting a second round. My partner probably has 3-4 orgasms to my 1
If a girl orgasms, she can still continue, while a man might have trouble continuing because most of the time, he "softens". That's why if a woman finishes early it's not that bad. Of course both parties should focus on satisfying their partners and not just themselves.
I'm not sure if he lasted for a couple of seconds, or if you wear an astronaut suit every day.