By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 575
You deserved it 4 403

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Was he trying to give directions to himself? Afraid he might skip a step?

While I think it's a good idea to not force sex to be a serious thing, I also think that that's weird and not remotely sexy.

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What a turn off

OP should've said exit, stage right.

was just giving himself direction lol

Whenever I enter my girlfriend I always whisper in her ear "We are one". Doesn't turn her off, she thinks it's funny :p

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That's awfully rude, the poor guy was awfully focused on trying to please his lady! Even if in an odd or slightly creepy way...

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Reply with "terminate, mission abort"

Lucky he didn't say " front, back.."

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Please stop, jk

That pun didn't even make sense. Not to mention the word you're searching for is excited not exited.

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People obviously don't understand sarcasm

While I think it's a good idea to not force sex to be a serious thing, I also think that that's weird and not remotely sexy.

It'd crack me up. Definitely not sexy but I think he sounds like a lot of fun.

It is also possible that he was just trying to distract himself to avoid climaxing too early.

Thats kinda sad though don't you think?

Like, what the actual fuck? I can't even imagine.

You must have a very limited imagination then, dear.

Was he trying to give directions to himself? Afraid he might skip a step?

Enter... Exit... Enter... Exit... Enter.... Enter. Oh, shit, I hit the cervix again.

Instructions unclear, got my dick caught in a drawer.

Tell him "Access denied" in your computer voice.