Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer...

By Anonymous - 14/1/2011 07:51 - Australia

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

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Work

Fear factor

Compassion

You snooze, you lose

By KBO - 8/6/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

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By hala - 16/3/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

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By Anonymous - 5/4/2014 15:27 - United States - Iola

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

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By thanxguys - 17/3/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I discovered that when my parents offered to help me pay for college, what they really meant is they would get the forms for me to apply for student loans. FML

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By Sudokori - 29/8/2017 20:00

A Dog's Love = Priceless

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

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By Brian - 23/12/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

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By thanksmom - 2/2/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/7/2015 06:25 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

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By Katt - 25/4/2016 18:04 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML

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By barri - 16/12/2009 07:28 - Costa Rica

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2010 08:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/2/2013 07:44 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2013 05:40 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/2/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 18:00

It is free

Today, I've decided to pay for sex. Stopped at a hooker and asked how much would it cost for a blowjob. Apparently she was a boy and told me: "If you suck my penis first, it is free". FML

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By me - 15/7/2009 08:02 - United States

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/2/2016 00:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

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By asshole - 2/10/2009 05:34 - United States

Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML

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By MaySheRestinPeace - 6/3/2020 15:00

With friends like these…

Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML

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By Jenna - 30/6/2011 00:04 - United States

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

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By metallifreak44 - 14/11/2011 13:37 - Canada

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

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By BritneyFink - 4/2/2009 21:05 - Canada

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

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By Fuzy - 15/12/2008 03:24 - France

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

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By SadBride - 8/9/2015 00:39 - United States

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my writing teacher entered in one of my paper grades wrong. After many emails, she said she can't change my grade unless I fax her the original. I need that grade fixed so I can keep my scholarship. I can’t find the paper anywhere. That one paper could cost me $30,000. FML

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By Forever Alone - 3/7/2013 04:26 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/1/2013 17:41 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

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By coloring is not for me - 10/11/2015 05:52 - United States

Today, in an attempt to lower my stress and anxiety, I tried out an anti-stress coloring page on my phone. I couldn't get the color to evenly fill inside the lines and it stressed me out even more, to the point where I started crying at work. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/5/2009 17:36 - Poland

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/8/2015 13:44 - Canada

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

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By Singlewife - 23/3/2019 22:00

Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML

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By ashdk - 28/1/2011 09:12

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

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By thismakesmesad - 7/9/2011 16:16 - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

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By stillsick - 2/3/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

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By tnt007 - 10/1/2010 21:46 - France

Today, I saw what I thought was a gallon jug of water. Trying to do something spontaneous and fun, I took my hardest swing at it to see how far I could kick it. It was frozen solid. I broke my foot. FML

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By michael - 17/7/2019 12:07

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML

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By anon - 29/8/2012 04:52 - United States - York

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

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By claudio117 - 8/4/2012 09:16 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

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By ok then - 31/10/2016 15:55

Today, my sister called my Native American friend a bigot for saying he had no problem with the name "Cleveland Indians". FML

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By Anonymous - 15/9/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

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Top comments

By FYLDeep | 25

#1965646 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Well that sounds weird but it shouldn't have killed the interview by any means.

By dragonaair | 5

#1966011 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:51

It sounds like she was just saying her name and thanking the interviewer, which is not a big deal.

Comments

By yeahthatsrite | 0

#1965632 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:05

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

babyyappld | 7

#1965728 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:27

meh it's not that bad could've just laughed it off

timma90 | 4

#1965819 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:55

It's hardly that the OP is an idiot, she was probably nervous and anxious. It happens, I've done it once or twice. As above poster has written, you could just laugh it off. :)

peach6 | 0

#1965950 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:26

Yeah, like they probably knew that you were just nervous:p it'll be alright

doubleshot555 | 0

#1966157 - Friday 14 January 2011 14:47

don't tell me you haven't fucked anything up like that before. everyone has

v4extreme | 6

#1966320 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:28

1 is a douchebag

Hide_Yo_Kids | 0

#1966390 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:51

U deserve it for being named Kate

By xstolix | 1

#1965640 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Was he frank? Lol

TheDrifter | 23

#1965971 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:38

I'm thinking it wasn't Frank. What sick bugger names their daughter Frank?

By dani22097 | 0

#1965642 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Ok so make a joke out if it. it's not the end of the world... or I it...?

By FYLDeep | 25

#1965646 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Well that sounds weird but it shouldn't have killed the interview by any means.

All_For_Love | 0

#1966229 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:07

this is not an fml >.<

By Princess994 | 0

#1965658 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:11

I don't get what happened here. someone explain please?

waswashere | 0

#1965724 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:25

same here

tanjoodo | 3

#1965864 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:06

Instead of "I'm fine thanks" and "my name is Kate" she said "I'm Kate thanks"

Not that hard.

dragonaair | 5

#1966011 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:51

It sounds like she was just saying her name and thanking the interviewer, which is not a big deal.

hosamsr | 3

#1966151 - Friday 14 January 2011 14:45

^ agree

marylovesyou8D | 7

#1966556 - Friday 14 January 2011 16:31

yeah I don't see how this is bad at all.

By maybaybe | 0

#1965662 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:11

Hahaha good one :P

Hide_Yo_Kids | 0

#1966452 - Friday 14 January 2011 16:05

Ok didn't u have like a completely diff picture a week ago

By ConnaireO | 0

#1965683 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:16

This is in no way an FML. Whoopie doo, you may have made yourself look a bit silly, but it's not the end of the world :')

gooBUZZ | 0

#1966109 - Friday 14 January 2011 14:26

Dude don't say that! I said something like that once, and got flammed by like three people telling me to read the FAQ and stuff. Lol.

charlieohcharlie | 12

#1966395 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:55

However, it isn't funny, nor do I see how saying "I"m Kate, thanks" would mess up her interview.

By divali | 5

#1965711 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:20

hope the word 'multi-tasking' wasn't mentioned any where in your resume or in the job requirements. They expect you to atleast answer two questions and make sense at the same time.

By Bullpine | 11

#1965719 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:24

that shouldn't have ruined the interview. why didn't you just make a joke out of it?

By Dmars444 | 4

#1965730 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:27

holy crap! I live in not only the same country but same state as you! closest to home yet :p