Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer...

By Anonymous - 14/1/2011 07:51 - Australia

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML

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Work

Out of it

Social distancing gone wrong

Pleased to meet you

By Matt - 13/7/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

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By crushed - 14/9/2013 17:04 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

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By Innocent - 18/8/2016 23:03 - New Zealand

Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML

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By Sleeeeeep - 19/8/2010 04:10 - France

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/9/2010 06:24 - United Arab Emirates

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

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By Blah - 2/8/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

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By Speedy - 20/7/2010 13:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2009 00:47 - United States

Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML

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By meee - 13/1/2010 00:55 - United States

Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

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By Percy - 23/3/2019 20:00

Today, the phrase "To share everything with one's friends" took a pretty unexpected meaning when a friend of mine asked me for a date. When I told him how unlikely it was to happen because of my friendship with his girlfriend, he answered that it was no excuse as she fell in love with me too. FML

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By effmylife - 23/10/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

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By shroooms - 28/7/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

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By space_cadet90818 - 8/3/2010 00:16 - United States

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

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By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

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By no spare - 19/12/2016 19:22 - United States - Marquette

Today, I woke up to find out that the two front tires on our van were flat. Now we won't have a vehicle all week since the tire shop is booked solid. We just went through this with the rear tires two weeks ago. FML

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By Username - 28/7/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML

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By scared2poop - 12/4/2016 02:30 - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML

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By SG - 24/3/2012 12:14 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

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By BearGrillz - 17/8/2009 23:40 - United States

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

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By Blondegirl - 7/11/2009 12:55 - United States

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

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By jamblasticus - 9/5/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/3/2014 22:35 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

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By Anonymous - 5/4/2014 23:16 - United States - Windsor Heights

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

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By muffins - 9/8/2014 13:50 - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

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By Heethersays - 3/7/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to lift weights because my arm muscles are pathetic. In order to use a machine, I needed to pull out a knob to adjust the seat setting. After an embarassing struggle, a worker came over and helped me. Turns out I'm not even strong enough to adjust the seat settings. FML

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By jellymoon14 - 28/7/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2019 16:00

Today, my wife who knows I am attracted to women with long hair -just like 95% of men-, instead of growing her hair long, she said she is going to stop being friends with any women who have long hair because she does not want me to be attracted to them. FML

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By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Bed move

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

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By 99520 - 28/7/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

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By KeepOnTruckin' - 7/5/2020 05:00

OK doomer

Today, it's been 3 weeks since I, a 17-year-old, have been working 50 hours a week at a grocery store trying to keep our shelves stocked during coronavirus panic-buying. It was also the day a customer informed me that, "All you teenagers are lazy and that's why the shelves are empty." FML

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By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 01:07 - United States - Bend

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

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By Shady_Soldier - 31/10/2013 08:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

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By malnourishedstudent - 8/6/2016 08:38 - United States - Palm Coast

Today, after months of living on five dollars a day for food in college, I found out my parents bought me an expensive meal plan and forgot to mention it. FML

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By cheesy grin - 11/6/2018 19:00

Today, my front tooth randomly fell out in the middle of class. I brush regularly and visit the dentist, the tooth was perfectly healthy looking, and it didn’t hurt beforehand or bleed. It literally just fell out for no reason. Now I have a gap grin and I don’t know why. FML

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By halfie - 26/9/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

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By sa la vash - 14/3/2015 08:22 - Netherlands

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

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By Vac - 5/4/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. They informed me they were lawyers throughout the meal, which explained the gorgeous house. My boyfriend excitedly told them I was promoted manager at my job. They asked where I work. I work at Burger King. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/9/2013 11:36 - United States - Big Pine Key

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6am to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

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By Marcilor001 - 10/8/2018 20:30

Oops.

Today, I realized I have a weight problem. My brother excitedly showed me his new high-end scale and measured his weight, then our other brothers. I took one step on it and the screen read "E". It then shut off and hasn't turned on since. FML

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Top comments

By FYLDeep | 25

#1965646 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Well that sounds weird but it shouldn't have killed the interview by any means.

By dragonaair | 5

#1966011 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:51

It sounds like she was just saying her name and thanking the interviewer, which is not a big deal.

COMMENTS

By yeahthatsrite | 0

#1965632 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:05

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

babyyappld | 7

#1965728 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:27

meh it's not that bad could've just laughed it off

timma90 | 4

#1965819 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:55

It's hardly that the OP is an idiot, she was probably nervous and anxious. It happens, I've done it once or twice. As above poster has written, you could just laugh it off. :)

peach6 | 0

#1965950 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:26

Yeah, like they probably knew that you were just nervous:p it'll be alright

doubleshot555 | 0

#1966157 - Friday 14 January 2011 14:47

don't tell me you haven't fucked anything up like that before. everyone has

v4extreme | 6

#1966320 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:28

1 is a douchebag

Hide_Yo_Kids | 0

#1966390 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:51

U deserve it for being named Kate

By xstolix | 1

#1965640 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Was he frank? Lol

TheDrifter | 23

#1965971 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:38

I'm thinking it wasn't Frank. What sick bugger names their daughter Frank?

By dani22097 | 0

#1965642 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Ok so make a joke out if it. it's not the end of the world... or I it...?

By FYLDeep | 25

#1965646 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:07

Well that sounds weird but it shouldn't have killed the interview by any means.

All_For_Love | 0

#1966229 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:07

this is not an fml >.<

By Princess994 | 0

#1965658 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:11

I don't get what happened here. someone explain please?

waswashere | 0

#1965724 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:25

same here

tanjoodo | 3

#1965864 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:06

Instead of "I'm fine thanks" and "my name is Kate" she said "I'm Kate thanks"

Not that hard.

dragonaair | 5

#1966011 - Friday 14 January 2011 13:51

It sounds like she was just saying her name and thanking the interviewer, which is not a big deal.

hosamsr | 3

#1966151 - Friday 14 January 2011 14:45

^ agree

marylovesyou8D | 7

#1966556 - Friday 14 January 2011 16:31

yeah I don't see how this is bad at all.

By maybaybe | 0

#1965662 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:11

Hahaha good one :P

Hide_Yo_Kids | 0

#1966452 - Friday 14 January 2011 16:05

Ok didn't u have like a completely diff picture a week ago

By ConnaireO | 0

#1965683 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:16

This is in no way an FML. Whoopie doo, you may have made yourself look a bit silly, but it's not the end of the world :')

gooBUZZ | 0

#1966109 - Friday 14 January 2011 14:26

Dude don't say that! I said something like that once, and got flammed by like three people telling me to read the FAQ and stuff. Lol.

charlieohcharlie | 12

#1966395 - Friday 14 January 2011 15:55

However, it isn't funny, nor do I see how saying "I"m Kate, thanks" would mess up her interview.

By divali | 5

#1965711 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:20

hope the word 'multi-tasking' wasn't mentioned any where in your resume or in the job requirements. They expect you to atleast answer two questions and make sense at the same time.

By Bullpine | 11

#1965719 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:24

that shouldn't have ruined the interview. why didn't you just make a joke out of it?

By Dmars444 | 4

#1965730 - Friday 14 January 2011 12:27

holy crap! I live in not only the same country but same state as you! closest to home yet :p