Kids, Holidays and Pregnancy: Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy...

By LucyLollipop - 03/01/2018 15:00

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 835

You deserved it 790

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Same thing different taste

By tryandtryagain - 28/04/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 471

You deserved it 29 776

Pissed

By Sally - 24/08/2018 22:00

Today, after cleaning my house, I decided to treat myself with a glass of wine. I poured the wine, set it down, and came back just in time to see my cat push it off the table. I then yelled at her, which scared her so much she pissed on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 832

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 10 121

Spillage

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 06:00

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 138

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 8 201

Keep quiet

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 747

You deserved it 3 475

By laststand11 - 26/12/2011 01:35 - Reserved

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 771

You deserved it 2 648

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 245

You deserved it 5 580

By isuckasawaitress - 12/12/2011 17:08 - Singapore

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 872

You deserved it 5 196

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 04:00

Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 227

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 3 January 2018 15:14

Pour yourself another glass, you'll need it soon.

manb91uk 22

Wednesday 3 January 2018 17:49

They can’t complain... You just squeezed their grandchild out of your ******. They owe you at least 18 months of gratitude

Comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Wednesday 3 January 2018 15:14

Pour yourself another glass, you'll need it soon.

exileonmainst 16

Wednesday 3 January 2018 15:16

Well the couch was just lying there, it was too tempting not to spill red wine all over it.

exileonmainst 16

Wednesday 3 January 2018 15:20

Also I never understood the verse ”Red, red wine. Spilled on my in laws couch.” until now.

manb91uk 22

Wednesday 3 January 2018 17:49

They can’t complain... You just squeezed their grandchild out of your ******. They owe you at least 18 months of gratitude

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 3 January 2018 23:49

Was the wine okay?

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I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 96

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I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 316