Kids: Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 229

You deserved it 8 589

Kids

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Same thing different taste

How sweet

By Birdman - 23/06/2018 15:00

Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 711

You deserved it 777

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 266

You deserved it 4 005

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 829

You deserved it 4 776

By Angela17 - 24/10/2018 05:00

Today, it's 3:42am and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 936

You deserved it 319

Rising Damp

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 104

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 880

You deserved it 9 065

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 769

You deserved it 807

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 285

You deserved it 542

Stinky

By Carolina R-h - 18/06/2019 16:30

Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 231

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 612

You deserved it 4 365

heyyimkell 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:13

Haha! You gotta love how honest little kids are. Don't worry though. All 3 year olds say stuff like that.

jillz 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 23:51

Clearly he has an overactive imagination and made that up because we all know that females do not fart.

Comments

cheetahboo2010 5

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:12

FIRST! :) lol but wow that suckss

123sploosh 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:26

damn you!!!!

chipmunk95 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 22:25

@OP llululululululrufffleurrflflfle thats funny u nasty!

dacey_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:13

Oh, wow. I would be so embarrassed.

LexRB 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 15:52

ur not dacey fake

heyyimkell 2

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:13

Haha! You gotta love how honest little kids are. Don't worry though. All 3 year olds say stuff like that.

100lol 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:16

Lol! Kids are kids. :]

chellinha93 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:17

ohhhh the kid just told you off... LOL fyl indeed.

ithedarkone 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:19

GOOD FOR YOU MOM! YDI. your 3 year old son is sleeping in the bed with you lmao and you passing gas and shit. I dont blame him who want to sleep with someone who passes gas and in her panties. Put on a little pj's outfit and clean out your system with some laxatives... Come on mom! =P

WetDream_fml 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:37

Aw. Kid's say the darndest things(;

SimpleSimon 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:44

Fair play to him, I wouldn't sleep with you either.

LexOrdrin 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:44

You had a 3 year old in a doctor's office? That must have been so painful for you!

plexico 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 20:52

And now we have the first contestant voted off of MILF Island. . . She starts her own reality TC show: MIWFWYD (Mother I Wouldn't **** With Your Dick), which is popular only in Wales because they can pronounce that acronym.