Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped... - FML

By Groom - 30/11/2008 10:51 - France

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

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Who's a good boy?

The student becomes the master

Don't you know that you're toxic?

By Anonymous - 8/1/2012 06:23 - United States

Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/3/2013 03:14 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

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By Vomitoid - 7/2/2018 01:30

Welcome to the Splash Zone!

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

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By Cinnamon - 18/7/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

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By the2girls - 9/8/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

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By glocked and goaded - 3/4/2015 18:08 - United States - Sun City

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

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By Liz - 9/6/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML

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By Mel Cluze - 22/10/2019 16:00

Fire!

Today, my girlfriend and I were spending the night at a hotel. We were awoken at 3 a.m. by the fire alarm. We quickly got dressed, went down the stairs to the reception area… and were told that it was a false alarm. All because some jerk lit a cigarette in his room. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/7/2016 16:45

Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML

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By RevolutionLove - 10/12/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

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By dulllife - 8/12/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

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By really? - 28/5/2013 08:09 - United States - Highland

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

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By brokebitch - 9/5/2019 06:00

Today, being a broke college student struggling to make ends meet, I decided to sign up for a sugar daddy website. The first person to message me was my high school history teacher. FML

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By GarageSallin - 7/2/2013 15:24

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

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By howcanihelpyou - 14/8/2018 20:45 - United States - Wantagh

Today, while working as a receptionist at a doctor's office, my boss asked me to check in one more patient before I left. He paid his $50 copay in nickels and dimes. FML

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By Anyom - 27/7/2016 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine 3 weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealer ship to pick me up. She backed in to my car. FML

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By toothache - 14/5/2013 12:03 - United States - Morton Grove

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

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By anonymous - 14/2/2011 13:45 - United States

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

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By Kbug - 28/4/2019 00:00

Today, while my man of almost 5 years was playing a video game with his friends, during one of the conversations they were having, one of his childhood friends asked “What do you see in her?” He replied, “I don't know, it’s more of an entrapment type of thing.” FML

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By stupidboss - 31/3/2016 03:23 - United States - Bellingham

Today, I got into a car accident with my boss, and he asked if I could come to work the next day. I'm in the hospital and he knows it. FML

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By FMBs - 30/4/2014 23:40 - Puerto Rico - Guaynabo

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

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By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

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By Haitwun - 8/12/2014 02:18 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

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By a - 12/2/2010 06:20 - United States

Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML

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By anonymous - 16/2/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

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By dsamanthas - 23/2/2014 08:10 - United States - Covina

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

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By eldar90 - 25/2/2012 21:38 - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

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By ThatHurts - 14/11/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

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By oh lord - 27/5/2012 16:06 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

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By Christinemh329 - 17/2/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

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By Lorena - 21/4/2012 19:26 - United States - Kapolei

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

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By anonymous - 12/3/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

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By foreverbrown - 15/5/2012 02:23 - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

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By uhohimfired - 31/3/2019 16:00

Today. the toddler I babysit learned her first word. It was "Fuck" uttered by me within earshot of her toddler ears. She won't stop saying it. FML

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By raebelle - 2/6/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

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By rivercitybarf - 8/8/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/6/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2012 14:43 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

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Top comments

By Jospehina | 0

#10856 - Monday 2 March 2009 11:11

Lol, so what? You didn't know them, they got a laugh. If you saw that, wouldn't you laugh?

By sunshine13_fml | 0

#34131 - Monday 16 March 2009 5:50

this happened to me too. except i was looking at my reflection in the window trying to pop a pimple and then they rolled down their window and i ran off laughing.

COMMENTS

By Jospehina | 0

#10856 - Monday 2 March 2009 11:11

Lol, so what? You didn't know them, they got a laugh. If you saw that, wouldn't you laugh?

By bullshit17 | 1

#19153 - Saturday 7 March 2009 3:19

mhmmm dick, yummy

Reply

the_rad_brad47 | 18

#6266611 - Sunday 19 April 2015 3:03

Stfu homo

By sunshine13_fml | 0

#34131 - Monday 16 March 2009 5:50

this happened to me too. except i was looking at my reflection in the window trying to pop a pimple and then they rolled down their window and i ran off laughing.

By inerdablanket | 4

#276125 - Saturday 6 June 2009 20:30

i like how there are only four comments on this.

Reply

LauraTheKiwi | 0

#828385 - Friday 5 February 2010 22:27

I like the picture you have :L

By ditzykayla | 0

#329178 - Monday 22 June 2009 6:46

lmao. i think this has happened to everyone at one time or another...i did it in a store window once..because the outside windows are tented on it...well i didn't think that there were probably people standing there...so i fixed my bra. and hair and then walked in...omg there were quite a few guys in there...the sad thing is i live in a small town...so i knew every single one of them.

Reply

FML858 | 0

#1697767 - Sunday 14 November 2010 5:12

oh fyl ); it will be okay

By luvedward4evr | 0

#377976 - Wednesday 8 July 2009 7:14

Wow that sucks you should have checked first

By AlexxxN | 0

#431904 - Monday 27 July 2009 0:20

LOL i wish i SAW that !!
hahahah!

By drzhottie148 | 0

#449778 - Sunday 2 August 2009 8:52

This is one of the best FML out there.

By drzhottie148 | 0

#449780 - Sunday 2 August 2009 8:55

I love this FML it's Epic

By polico_wolf | 0

#522857 - Saturday 29 August 2009 0:26

your life is fucked because people in a car laughed at you.