Miscellaneous: Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall.... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 19:04 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 66 489

The smell detective is on the case

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Weird-ass kids

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 22:24 - United States

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 120

You deserved it 4 365

By syle - 13/11/2008 06:51 - France

Today, my son forgot to log out of MSN. He had written, "When am I getting out of this place?" and his username was "mother fucker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 7 610

By spermbankonlegs - 16/03/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 555

You deserved it 4 852

Ticket to ride

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 22:01

Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 120

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 865

You deserved it 4 777

By xoragebaby - 24/01/2015 01:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 615

You deserved it 5 007

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Spicy

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 841

You deserved it 6 174

Which toppings?

By neverhealthy - 01/10/2019 02:01

Today, I read that food cravings are only supposed to last a couple of minutes. I have been craving and dreaming about pizza for a month straight, and the urge is only getting stronger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 223

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 150

You deserved it 283

Bad joke, dude

By Peterrulesall - 25/09/2020 17:01 - United States

Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the 2-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 2 403

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 18:16 - France

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 741

You deserved it 15 712

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 327

You deserved it 10 251

By be_so_slick_56 - 16/01/2010 17:51 - United States

Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 106

You deserved it 7 814

By LH0026 - 06/08/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 576

You deserved it 3 099

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 841

You deserved it 4 534

By rutho - 27/03/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 877

You deserved it 208 537

By fmlimoverit - 12/09/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 177

You deserved it 3 674

By Anonymous - 19/11/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 621

You deserved it 30 265

By LadyNexus - 07/01/2015 03:54 - United States - Mohrsville

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 131

You deserved it 4 261

By hahahano - 24/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 881

You deserved it 3 820

By noname - 18/02/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I was feeling really upset and called my boyfriend. He said "Can you feel upset a little later? I'm watching a movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 225

You deserved it 6 023

By mrmidi - 21/05/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 411

You deserved it 4 268

Freak out

By Brooke - 09/08/2009 15:23 - United States

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 906

You deserved it 56 981

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He had stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 156

You deserved it 688

By spiderwoman - 04/11/2012 17:12 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 670

You deserved it 13 533

By Jer - 15/07/2013 23:36 - United States - Louisville

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 042

You deserved it 48 649

By kittykat - 08/08/2009 18:02 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 552

You deserved it 8 065

By TheDarth - 16/07/2015 22:47 - United States - Bedford

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 5 591

By communistgirl - 24/01/2012 16:42 - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 859

You deserved it 4 045

By blaahh - 19/02/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, I was asked out by a guy I've liked since the beginning of the year. All I could say was, "I have to pee", and ran into the men's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 386

You deserved it 17 630

By oh... - 20/10/2013 20:34 - United States - Springfield

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 314

You deserved it 3 590

By drivingmecrazy - 28/05/2015 01:28 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 299

You deserved it 7 246

By trp007 - 07/04/2014 03:03 - United States - New Castle

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 260

You deserved it 42 578

By sunburychick - 13/09/2009 09:27 - Australia

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 774

You deserved it 26 071

By nokitchenforme - 03/12/2010 05:18 - Canada

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 361

You deserved it 3 149

By Ese - 12/10/2018 12:00

Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 902

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 00:03

Today, I left the apartment door open so the construction workers sent by our landlord could work in the kitchen, while I slept in after working a late shift. They knocked on the bedroom door at 7 a.m., asking me to move the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 149

Get out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 05:00

Spicy

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 173

By BugDTV - 27/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Auburn

Today, I went to open my store but corporate had changed the locks without notice. The store's being sold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 834

You deserved it 123

House rules

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for months. Not knowing where the date would take us, I shaved my pubic hair. Later, in the middle of making out with the guy, my dad storms into the room to tell me, "I had to get some Draino, your pubes clogged the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 1 087

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Top comments

WinkleBottom 13

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:24

Deserved it, you did.

cmayer 20

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:24

You might need to look into anger management if you throw things bc you had a bad day..

Comments

WinkleBottom 13

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:24

Deserved it, you did.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:46

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:57

Disregard this comment

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:22

#17 the OP is male.

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:29

Clean it first, he must.

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Friday 16 August 2013 5:31

*he

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Friday 16 August 2013 12:32

Talking like yoda, you are.

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Saturday 17 August 2013 5:27

#63 Stating the obvious, you are.

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Tuesday 20 August 2013 6:00

Y'know, i kinda sympathize with OP, cause we all have those really bad days. Thats why it makes it more imperative that you clean up your mess, or not make it in the first place, cause you just made your day even worse by stepping on the glass.

ughnotthatgirl 9

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Saturday 6 December 2014 4:10

That you is? Yoda?

cmayer 20

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:24

You might need to look into anger management if you throw things bc you had a bad day..

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:58

Yeah we all have bad days. Its just important to keep your chin up. Letting things get to you means you are beat. Staying happy and strong means you are winning the fight.

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Friday 16 August 2013 8:33

Sometimes you gotta break a cup. But sometimes when you break a cup, you gotta remember the clean up.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:25

Maybe try punching a pillow next time

AnOriginalName 19

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:08

And then forget that he punched it and try to sleep on a flat pillow? I'll take glass shards in the feet before a flat pillow any day.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:52

OP needs to learn to get a handle on his shit. We all have bad days once in a while, but we don't throw items at the wall. Acting like a fucking child isn't going to rewind time and make the day go away. It's best to look forward to see where you're going, instead of looking back at where you were.

Wolstenholme 11

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:25

Karma's a bitch, sorry

euphoricness 28

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:05

Damn that sucks though, Karma helps inanimate objects more than me :(

JocelynKaulitz 28

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:25

Stomp the pain and anger away now!

Co1121 11

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:26

Future note; don't buy glass houseware items.

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Friday 16 August 2013 11:55

Plastic's more classy anyway.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:26

YDI OP. People who break things out of anger disgust me. Grow up.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:38

She broke a glass, she didn't kill someone. People who overly use the word disgust make me want to break things.

lochiamochia 25

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Friday 16 August 2013 4:40

He broke a glass. Indeed, he didn't kill anyone but perhaps it was because there was no one around at the time. In my experience, people who break things do not limit their anger to just inanimate objects. If someone else is around and things escalate, I've witnessed destructive behavior turn into violence. OP should learn to control his anger and put all that energy into something less destructive like running, biking, kickboxing, etc....

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Friday 16 August 2013 5:18

I'd rather not have someone with this kind of lack of self control learn martial art skills....

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Friday 16 August 2013 6:02

41, then you obviously don't get what the martial arts are about..

SamanthaNGoree 10

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:28

I don't care how mad you are, why in the world would you just leave broken glass laying around. Glad there was no one else around to injure themselves. YDI.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:29

Throwing things angrily; the ultimate act of immaturity.

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:40

ya they should punch things like a man

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Friday 16 August 2013 3:30

YDI Witcho lazy ass.

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 16

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 18

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 147

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 101