Health: Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself...

By anonymous - 03/09/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 668

You deserved it 6 717

Health

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Late term

Desperate

By Justme - 05/06/2013 05:02 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 563

You deserved it 3 846

By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 5 450

By DWIcop - 03/04/2019 00:00

Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 775

By AprilFlowers - 01/12/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 082

You deserved it 7 363

Birthday gift

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 03:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 146

By meganridner - 04/08/2011 16:05 - United States

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 505

You deserved it 53 129

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 350

You deserved it 17 762

By nail714 - 25/06/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 172

You deserved it 73 381

By Butqhy - 30/06/2016 11:07

Today, while in the airport, I had to use the washroom. Upon exiting, I got confused due to an excess of mirrors and walked directly into one in front of an audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 406

You deserved it 1 827

By GymBattle - 31/10/2013 23:18 - United States

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 309

You deserved it 12 534

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 919

You deserved it 3 478

You tried…

By Trapfail - 09/08/2021 04:01

Today, I claimed I was pregnant to get back at my ex and the girl he cheated on me with. I tagged him in my "ultrasound" pic, saying it was his baby, hoping she would dump him. Turns out there’s this thing called "reverse image search" and he posted the Google page where I got the ultrasound from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 4 833

By Stormbringer - 01/02/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 376

You deserved it 4 103

Gatekeeping gamers

By oldschool - 04/06/2021 08:03

Today, my roommate walked in on me playing Ocarina of Time and snarkily asked me why I’m playing a 20 year-old game. Apparently I’m not allowed to like stuff that didn’t come out this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 97

By newswithabitofbite - 28/08/2014 10:31 - Australia - Richmond

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 791

You deserved it 3 206

By noname - 14/01/2009 06:33 - France

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 2 663

By Misterhippo - 02/09/2009 00:04 - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 969

You deserved it 3 066

By khannnn - 20/03/2016 18:25 - United States

Today, looking to hire new tech support members, but due to not looking over any resumés, my ex-wife is now one of our potential candidates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 027

You deserved it 7 426

By nosonofmine - 23/06/2012 17:43 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 454

You deserved it 2 832

By firedlol - 02/08/2018 19:00

Today, I accidentally showed up 5 minutes late for my shift. My boss mercifully declared that I would not be fired if I called my mother and told her I love her. My mom died 11 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 934

You deserved it 230

By notalcoholic - 09/12/2009 05:29 - Philippines

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 997

You deserved it 5 189

By Baby Face - 16/01/2017 15:03

Today, I was at work refreshing the shelves when a man turned the corner and said, very surprised, "You look 12!" A few weeks back, two people did the same thing, only they said I looked 9. I'm almost 21 years old, and just very short. Starting to get just a little self conscious here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 580

You deserved it 461

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 06:24 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 953

You deserved it 1 910

By Anonymous - 15/03/2016 05:55

Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 128

You deserved it 3 289

By smartass - 30/05/2015 02:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I realized that a classmate and I have the same glasses. To prove it, I tried bending his glasses, since mine are flexible and can bend. I snapped his glasses in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 699

You deserved it 39 306

By HoShiz - 25/10/2009 14:18 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 414

You deserved it 4 806

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 2 851

By Bestfrienduncool - 30/09/2010 05:11 - France

Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 693

You deserved it 2 658

By notastoner - 19/06/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 544

You deserved it 5 582

By psd60 - 06/12/2012 07:18 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 253

You deserved it 4 183

Help needed

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 22:56

Today, I've been asking for help to close up store for the last 7 months, at the height of a global pandemic. My boss's excuse for no help? Joe Biden and the government is keeping everyone who would earn 10 dollars an hour from working, because they are all lazy. Joe wasn't president 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 274

You deserved it 5 549

By :( - 28/03/2014 20:25 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 616

You deserved it 4 807

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 404

You deserved it 742

By blackandblue - 02/11/2010 16:26 - United States

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 344

You deserved it 28 727

By it's v - 17/03/2018 08:00 - United States - Denver

Today, after my flight arrived late, I ran 60 gates to get my connecting flight. I sprinted up to the gate agent, completely out of breath, and he looked at me, shut the door, and said, “The door is shut. You’re too late.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 298

You deserved it 289

By roomingwithevil - 09/05/2012 23:26 - United States - Slinger

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 669

You deserved it 2 050

Dream baby dream

By lani - 24/05/2021 00:00

Today, and since I decided to cut back on unhealthy foods, my last five dreams were literally just slideshows of junk food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 112

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 812

You deserved it 9 555

By ouchers - 11/06/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 338 594

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Rishy 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:26

I just lost the game thanks to the "we lost the game" part.

FFML_314 11

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:31

Balls to the face? Never feels good.

competlybaked 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:25

volleyball players are hot

kayladance101 13

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:27

this fml could have been written by a guy...

Molord1 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:27

ydi for riding a polar bear in the summer

dharmistha 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:31

sounds like you had a bad day..

SeeYouNTee 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:36

failmanjaro

cruxx 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:38

Could have been worse, oh wait...

mooimafish 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:47

aww ... FYL.

Angel_Vice 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:47

Aw, crap. I lost The Game.

brandon425 1

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:55

it's female volleyball season

TheSarge 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:04

ouch

philpip 7

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:16

I also lost the game. way to go! :/

marie93uso 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:32

agreed :) volleyball is amazing

digibenho 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:52

Its your fault OP!!!!!

KelceyLoves 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:59

Story of my life..

legonut6 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 14:08

you fail.

xWTF_FML_FTWx 1

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 14:28

so how was your day?

Tasanasanta 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 14:33

Play much?

ColetteL 4

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:13

YDI for having asthma and not having an inhaler with you at all times.

ThereIsNoFork 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:23

Okay on the app, I thought they got rid of replying to comments... But then I clicked on a comment and BAM!

kieran247 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:24

sucks. I lost the game!

BlueTwist89 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:31

FYL for everything you mentioned, besides not having your inhaler. YDI for not having your inhaler nearby when you even have the slightest possibility of having an asthma attack... FYL for falling on your face, but why didn't you stick your hands out to break your fall? :/

bigredmonkeybutt 25

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:34

If you're crap why play? Maybe you're the reason your team lost? Maybe you should give stickball a try?

deafeningsilence 8

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:50

Yeah. I fell back trying to spike the ball and broke my wrist. Could've been worse, OP.

planbsponserme 2

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 18:36

im sorry but this is really funny. and doubt you jumped and landed face first thats what hands are for. to stop you from landing on your face.

getsuga97 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 20:04

I al

jizwiz 3

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 21:12

Looks like you like gettin balls in the face. When you fell on the ground you were just fakin it to get some desprete guy to stick his dick in yo ass then. Mayb if you werent fuckin men in the middle of the game you wouldnt have lost. Nice pussy btw. Yeah I was that guy (:

v1rulent 0

Send a private message

Saturday 4 September 2010 3:29

I lost the game

Brittaneyyy 0

Send a private message

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:34

damn your day was bad

sandrew17 0

Send a private message

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:42

lol I think u just enjoy getting balls on ur face XD

starberries 0

Send a private message

Sunday 24 October 2010 18:48

6, guys can be hot.

IStabBabies 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:25

Oooh that sucks.

TheSarge 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:05

volleyball is only for athletic people

ThereIsNoFork 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 18:27

Volleyball is a good activity. It's almost a sport.

starile 19

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 18:51

More of a sport than swimming

FrenchToast94 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:25

ouch!

MizSammyBaybay12 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:26

wow OP....FYL.

lizamaphone 6

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 19:00

nah, they deserved it for sucking at volleyball

Rishy 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:26

I just lost the game thanks to the "we lost the game" part.

papaguna 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:27

I forgot about the game before you mentioned it... thanks

queencitystoner 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:28

bastard lol I just lost the game

iamsam2 3

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:43

i just lost the game. cheers.

KarinaLizeth18 5

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:54

I don't get it U.U plz explain wth you guys are talking about... is this a guy thing or something???

Phustercluck 11

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:56

it's a stupid 4chan thing, basically if you can get ppl to read the phrase "the game" they lose...

KarinaLizeth18 5

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 12:58

haha are you serious?? wow that is stupid xD I'm guessing I lost too then >:| oh wellz :P thnx for the explination ^.^

phorcep 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:00

BBAAAWWWWWWWWWWW U MAD

KarinaLizeth18 5

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:01

oops I meant explanation haha O.o

maskedman 9

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:02

Me too. FML.

soul_fml 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 13:53

U HAD to say that, didn't u?

xWTF_FML_FTWx 1

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 15:43

ok everyone lost the game (including me)

Schizomaniac 24

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 16:53

32, I don't think that's the game. I think the game is if you remember the game you lose.

FrenchToast94 0

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 20:42

shit! I LOST THE GAME!

jizwiz 3

Send a private message

Friday 3 September 2010 21:16

I never lose the game. Pussy is my game. -Chuck Noris

MemoriesOfOblivi 1

Send a private message

Monday 7 March 2011 22:03

Actually, it is if You Think about it, then You lose, and every time you think of it you have to tell everyone around you so they lose it too! But you can only lose it once every hour.. or half hour... or something! And they say they are waiting for someone to win.. somebody told me they have a prize and everything!