FML : Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to...

20

See the top FMLs

Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By InsultToInjury - / Friday 28 December 2018 04:00 /

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By rickAUS | 20

#7744205 - Friday 28 December 2018 4:30

So... time to reflect on what went wrong for the next time? Either she was extremely difficult to please or your game need serious improvement. Either way I'm voting YDI for being oblivious to her lack of interest the entire time.

By Blunt person | 16

#7744230 - Friday 28 December 2018 7:20

Considering it was a one night stand, why the hell do you care?

Comments

By rickAUS | 20

#7744205 - Friday 28 December 2018 4:30

So... time to reflect on what went wrong for the next time? Either she was extremely difficult to please or your game need serious improvement. Either way I'm voting YDI for being oblivious to her lack of interest the entire time.

Reply

PenguinPal3017 | 18

#7744207 - Friday 28 December 2018 4:33

It sounds like he was all too aware that she was doing nothing.

Reply

rickAUS | 20

#7744210 - Friday 28 December 2018 4:58

Not even close to what I was getting at but whatever; thanks captain obvious for pointing out what is written in the FML.

Reply

OhSnap | 5

#7752295 - Sunday 13 January 2019 2:01

I have to agree with Rick.

By Warmonger_Smurf | 29

#7744206 - Friday 28 December 2018 4:33

Bragging about your failures? That’s a bold move Cotton, let’s see if it pays off.

By medyas | 9

#7744212 - Friday 28 December 2018 5:29

Careless Whisper?

By Blunt person | 16

#7744230 - Friday 28 December 2018 7:20

Considering it was a one night stand, why the hell do you care?

Reply

JoeMe | 1

#7744906 - Saturday 29 December 2018 13:45

Ego probably

By manb91uk | 22

#7744250 - Friday 28 December 2018 8:28

You thought a one night stand would be romantic? How cute

By jac_1964_au | 20

#7744256 - Friday 28 December 2018 8:54

And that’s why she single

By Ella_fml | 16

#7744336 - Friday 28 December 2018 11:43

If she's not moving, you should have probably talked to her... sounds like it was an FML for her too

By Burle | 16

#7744465 - Friday 28 December 2018 16:52

Still counts

By oldtimer | 3

#7744477 - Friday 28 December 2018 17:49

Sounds like it was more of an FML for her than you.

By ViviMage | 38

#7744502 - Friday 28 December 2018 18:37

Shouldn't be so Careless with that Whisper app!

Similar

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded,...

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today I was going to bed with my wife and she was giving all the signs that she wanted to get it on. I rolled to her side of the bed and made my move....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Today...I woke up only to find out that I had gotten so drunk the night before and taken home 3 guys. I don't know what happened but everything hurts....

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

See all the Nearly FMLs

Loading data…

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and...

Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?"...

See all the World FMLs

See all FML photos