Work: Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

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8065

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Work

BO Central

Triage

My body, my choice

By Mikaela - United States

Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML

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7838

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By ThatsNotGrass - Canada

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37204

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By thissinglelife - United States - Alhambra

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

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50192

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By Anonymous

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

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By forever_young - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13857

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1789

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By fitzy79 - United States

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46694

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By selfesteemloss - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

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44115

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By NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand - Rotorua

Dogbowl

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37857

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By DJ Clitter - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

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By outofluckatcollege - United States - Lewisville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13835

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40374

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By vacationless - United States - Parkersburg

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34045

You deserved it

2649

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By TooShort - United States

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54282

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By Sally - Australia

The struggle is real

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39513

You deserved it

5809

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By me - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27998

You deserved it

1717

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By ThisGirl - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26196

You deserved it

16397

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By baebookboo - United States - Lawrence

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42110

You deserved it

4472

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By Quincy_Ethan - United States - Killeen

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43102

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By Failure - United States

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

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44976

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By Anonymous - 30/3/2020 17:00

Run for the hills!

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2029

You deserved it

214

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By oh my dad - United States - Florence

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13306

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By ohokay - United States - Bronx

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47645

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By good_gravy - United States

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24134

You deserved it

3614

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By Anonymous - Portugal

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42964

You deserved it

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By Renagirl - United States - East Hartford

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49325

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27003

You deserved it

2802

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By time to put you down, gran - United States

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27760

You deserved it

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By Bob - United States - Fairbanks

Today, a judge gave my ex custody of my two sons, most of my money, my house, my car, and has ordered me to take anger management classes. We're getting a divorce because she shot me with a gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7316

You deserved it

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By omglifee - Canada

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23776

You deserved it

4087

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By desperategurl - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12492

You deserved it

24810

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By sounds good mom - United States - Katy

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12017

You deserved it

2529

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By HughGorgy - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17323

You deserved it

102821

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By ItHurtsLIkeHell - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11877

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42932

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By Luckless

Today, I'm preparing my defense for allegedly stalking someone at work. The best part, I have absolutely no clue who it is. Now my skin is crawling as I go through all the messages and in person events that occurred with my actual twice-my-age stalker to show my boss what a real stalker does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2135

You deserved it

142

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By lynn777 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42186

You deserved it

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By bwoolf96

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27850

You deserved it

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By lea5459 - United States - Medford

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24587

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37874

You deserved it

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By Couch Potato - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41882

You deserved it

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Top comments

By hail_this_villai | 0

#1926294 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:12

Should've thrown in an eighth and said "Ironic."

By abdur | 0

#1926231 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:04

lol Perhaps you should have listened.

COMMENTS

By abdur | 0

#1926231 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:04

lol Perhaps you should have listened.

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#1926335 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:21

1# thanks captain obvious

5 adjectives that describe me would be, filthy, grotesque, powerful, breakable and annoying.

GreatGeak | 8

#1926671 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 11:05

haha! he's breakable!
kill the family guy!

nikki_4eva | 0

#1926885 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 12:48

kinda like Peter

Amosatron | 0

#1926894 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 12:49

Thanks alot for that.
I'm far too stupid to realise that, -.-

chewbacca69 | 0

#1930623 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 10:55

9 you stole my thing from the other fml how dare you sir.

By emmabear16 | 0

#1926240 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:06

haha obviously ur not a good listener

Amosatron | 0

#1926904 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 12:51

no shit.

emmabear16 | 0

#1930211 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 9:00

Yes, exactly. No shit. Why do you think I said that?

HateyMcHater | 4

#1930216 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 9:04

Because you can only spout the most inane and painfully obvious of observations?

nika10105 | 14

#2795942 - Friday 1 July 2011 5:27

no shit Sherlock!!!!

By squirell_AIDS69 | 0

#1926244 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:06

Tell him/her that there are just too many words to limit it to 5.

foreverjoseph | 5

#1930095 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 7:48

genius

By JuuuusssstFML | 0

#1926274 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:10

ya great listening skills... I bet you didn't get that job, YDI

SillyEars | 0

#1926546 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 10:17

especially since "listener" is not an adjective.

Mehness | 0

#1928199 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 16:34

19 - You might want to think twice about that. Listener is used to describe a person who listens well. :|

Mehness | 0

#1928217 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 16:37

Scratch that, I just realized that a listener would be a noun, not an adjective :L

By nicesprites | 4

#1926287 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:11

no way you were hired lol

By hail_this_villai | 0

#1926294 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:12

Should've thrown in an eighth and said "Ironic."

the17doctor | 12

#4447447 - Thursday 17 May 2012 15:59

No the 8th should have been 'over-achiever'.

By bigphill1333 | 0

#1926296 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:12

YDI for getting a job at burger king.

By DropDead77 | 11

#1926327 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:20

was overachiever the 6th

PushMyButtons | 5

#1926409 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:34

Haha good one!(:

milakitty21 | 0

#1926706 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 11:28

hardee har

By daddy15 | 0

#1926368 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:27

ydi for looking for a job.

dre_bro11 | 12

#1926996 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 13:13

yer! OP why get a job and earn money for? there's no point in that. just live of the money that daddy15 earns and pays as tax.

Karnezar | 2

#1929365 - Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:40

I lol'd

By yeahiknow0 | 0

#1926397 - Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:33

Overacheiver :P