Intimacy: Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my...

By lolreturn - 16/08/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 609

You deserved it 55 877

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Same thing different taste

By RahiYeah09 - 17/09/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 7 183

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 541

You deserved it 3 919

By houdini - 03/02/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 951

You deserved it 11 685

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 274

You deserved it 81 061

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 993

You deserved it 28 755

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 832

You deserved it 15 931

By pantydropper - 17/04/2013 19:01 - United States

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 377

You deserved it 10 676

Don't engage with the nutjobs

By MsBeaufont - 25/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, a customer came to make a return - a bag full of clothes without tags that weren’t from our store. I kindly told her she couldn’t return them. She had a full blown meltdown, pulled down her pants, urinated and defecated on the ground. Security escorted her out. My coworker and I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 90

By kaydebug - 15/08/2018 03:30

Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 207

Where's my stuff?

By freezingtodeath - 04/12/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I went into Target's dressing rooms to try some pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 702

You deserved it 22 959

silly248 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 22:47

wow, look at the bag, ydi

MelanieBerrigan 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 22:52

hahahahah thats hilarious and okay who checks an empty bag? a used condom has like no weight, she probably thought it was empty, wow you guys are dumb. fyl but its really funny

Comments

Meemer147 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 22:54

Hey FMLers, wanna find another site equally as funny as this one? Check out Mylifeisaverage.com, not as gushy as MLIG or GMH. its also not as depressing as FML. find your happy medium at Mylifeisaverage.com

ottospielen 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 22:56

Why did you have to put your shorts in a bag to bring them to Wal-Mart? Seems like it would be faster, easier, and less bulky to carry the shorts than the bag of shorts...

mymouse 0

Monday 17 August 2009 0:48

In my town the stores want you to bring returns in a bag. They won't take an item back otherwise.

mastory96 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:03

did the cashier get a boner? maybe he thought you were giving a hint... :)

Ozmat 0

Monday 17 August 2009 4:28

Hehe

lrb081 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:10

YDI. My question is why you needed a bag for one pair of shorts. I assume you have hands to be able to "grab" the bag, so why didn't you just "grab" the shorts and leave it at that?

jet_fml 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:13

Why was there a used condom in the plastic bag? o_o

kid_pistol 7

Monday 30 July 2012 18:36

The condom was the plastic bag

flyboy57 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:17

YDI for shopping at Walmart.

Illumi113 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:18

YDI for leaving a used condom in the bag with the shorts. I imagine the semen stains made the return much more difficult.

bobby222 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:29

YDI for being a ****.

BunniiPop1 0

Sunday 16 August 2009 23:37

#22 how is she a ****?? she did it with her boyfriend that she must like a lot if they are living together yuh idiot

were_giraffe 2

Monday 17 August 2009 1:08

because good girls don't save the condoms in shopping bags. they throw them out in the trash.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Monday 17 August 2009 6:23

Some people use loose plastic bags AS trash disposal things for small trash in a bedroom and all, which sounds like it was what happened to her, smartass.