Miscellaneous: Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted...

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 1

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 90

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 44

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 26

24/03/2009 16:11

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 800

You deserved it 5 983

Miscellaneous

Age difference

Best teeth in the game

The smell detective is on the case

14/02/2009 18:43

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 994

You deserved it 5 977

01/05/2015 22:57

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 150

You deserved it 3 168

27/09/2012 23:09

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 2 597

23/05/2009 07:37

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 347

You deserved it 58 523

21/12/2010 17:01

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 956

You deserved it 7 884

13/04/2016 23:46

Today, I'd like to thank the genius who scheduled my class in a building which is actively being torn down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 553

You deserved it 1 219

Nice timing

By hot girl - 07/03/2021 08:01

Today, I found out my husband was cheating on me while I was waiting in an ICU waiting room while he was getting brain surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 80

30/08/2016 13:55

Today, I had a terrible dream where my aunt paid a stripper to have sex with me, since I'm 27 and haven't even kissed a guy yet. I ended up taking the dream-stripper to the mall for snacks instead. Even my dreams are mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 700

You deserved it 1 629

12/11/2013 19:12

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 483

You deserved it 2 745

21/10/2009 05:40

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 384

You deserved it 2 212

13/03/2009 17:54

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 858

You deserved it 8 155

08/12/2009 02:32

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 855

You deserved it 28 998

04/02/2012 20:46

Today, I got an early Valentine's day card. My boyfriend and I recently broke up, and my hopes shot up thinking it might be from him. It wasn't. It was from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 140

You deserved it 4 654

27/06/2011 06:26

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 616

You deserved it 13 660

25/11/2009 06:06

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 147

You deserved it 6 632

11/07/2013 04:52

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 729

You deserved it 3 564

28/04/2016 06:21

Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 431

You deserved it 1 639

26/09/2010 11:29

Today, I was in my hotel room. I picked up an expensive wine from the mini fridge, just to see what it is. I heard a mechanical "bling". I was charged for it. Then, I tried to put it back, only to hear another "bling". I was charged twice for expensive wine that I won't even drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 667

You deserved it 10 896

17/03/2011 00:12

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 768

You deserved it 4 733

13/06/2012 16:07

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 243

You deserved it 5 219

19/04/2012 14:14

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 435

You deserved it 24 785

27/08/2018 06:00

Today, I came home to find my wife and my ex-wife naked in my bed. Apparently they've been in a relationship for five months. When I told my kids, they said that they were helping to keep the secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 329

You deserved it 257

29/03/2012 11:46

Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 886

You deserved it 6 805

It's out there

By anonymous - 03/09/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend showed me a video on his phone that he'd recorded of us having sex. Furious, I asked him if he'd ever shown it to anyone. His response was, "No, not really, I mean… My roommate walked in on me watching it. Oh, and my dad wanted to know how our relationship was going, I was drunk…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 127

Sampled

By zachhewett - 02/02/2016 22:53

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 986

You deserved it 2 794

01/09/2009 16:25

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 086

You deserved it 47 311

09/02/2013 12:00

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 617

You deserved it 5 915

06/11/2008 09:38

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 334

You deserved it 6 020

04/07/2015 03:41

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 086

You deserved it 6 454

14/02/2012 14:42

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 2 333

Amazon Prime

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 17:00

Today, I ordered an iPad to replace a broken tablet in a haste. I managed to order one of the only ones that doesn't support an Apple pencil. This is exactly the only feature I SERIOUSLY need. Can one be more stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 939

Check this

By Anonymous - 05/11/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for a routine check up. I also found out I have an incurable STD and that I’m pregnant. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and have never had sex with anyone else in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 103

19/05/2012 02:46

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 396

You deserved it 6 809

23/11/2010 18:23

Today, while my mom was out, I took the car out to CVS to get some food, even though I'm not legally allowed to drive. As soon as I got back in the car, my mom pulled up 2 parking spaces away from me. She didn't notice me bend down to hide... until I accidentally hit the horn in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 428

You deserved it 60 000

10/05/2016 17:14

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 413

You deserved it 2 163

15/01/2010 05:07

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 025

You deserved it 5 887

One man and his lawn

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 16:00

Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 92

03/03/2009 00:09

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 579

You deserved it 16 393

06/02/2016 05:55

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 330

You deserved it 13 383

18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 764

You deserved it 597

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Top comments

knuckledragger 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:08

You could always have replied: "Your face looks like someone shit on it, regardless of when you wake up."

snic 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:04

wow .. that sucks ..

Comments

snic 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:04

wow .. that sucks ..

potterwatch 0

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Thursday 12 August 2010 12:59

maybe you should practice?

krazygirl100 9

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Sunday 10 April 2011 0:58

parents dont under stand style u should have told her u wanted it to look like that

abcdefgh_fml 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:06

hahahahaha aww...

knuckledragger 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:08

You could always have replied: "Your face looks like someone shit on it, regardless of when you wake up."

Hiimhaileypotter 52

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Sunday 15 December 2013 0:59

And then OP would be bitch slapped...

cnhd 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:09

what a dick move by mom

Serial 2

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:10

you should dye your hair pink after school then come home

elijahle 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:13

aww, that was fail on your moms part.

FML625 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:15

omg, mom's suck. that sucks.

xOpheliacx 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:15

Guess you need to practice curling your hair? Could've told her what you did, to make her feel like an ass. haha.

theoldGP 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:18

lol this is why you don't curl your hair. if you dont do it perfectly it looks really messy.

OMIGODNOWAI 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:19

eh. don't worry. my mom didnt' recognize an old picture of me because "i had eyebrows back then." just learn to curl your hair better. ;|