Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
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By
Virids
| 13
Well, can't win them all. Better luck next time...
By
ajh1800
| 25
Stories like this are a large part of why I don't drink. YDI
By
Amy78_fml
| 11
I see some behavior that would be a turn off.
Reply
Gofuckyourself
| 24
Preach!
By
AstroTurfMatador
| 11
"in a room alone with someone"
Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.
Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.
Reply
RichardPencil
| 30
It means there were exactly two people in the room, and at that number, everyone knows with 100% certainty who farted. There’s no plausible deniability.
By
BurnInDemonFire
| 30
Nice to see that the Hannah Montana persona lived on after Miley Cyrus walked away from the show, but the "protagonist needs to be drunk to be funny" cliché sounds like something Tom Green came up with.
By
DaDezza244
| 31
Were you drunk when you wrote this FML?
By
Sinshine
| 27
If you're expecting sympathy, you're not going to get it here. But I can see why your crush isn't making out with you.
By
RichardPencil
| 30
I’ll bet the new girl holds her liquor far better than you.
By
davidfong
| 14
Maybe you shouldn’t drink.
By
tharnden
| 1
I was reading this as though OP was a dude. But then realized OP is a chick and was like, "CLASSY!!!"
Reply
julfunky
| 29
So are you suggesting this would be ok if OP was a guy?
Reply
Gofuckyourself
| 24
OP never identified their gender so you shouldn't be assuming either or. I'm just saying, not looking to get into the whole gender debate.
Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.