By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks 872
You deserved it 3 938
Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

AstroTurfMatador 11
Send a private message

"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.

26 3
Reply Report
Amy78_fml 11
Send a private message

I see some behavior that would be a turn off.

21 0
Reply Report
Next

Comments

Virids 13
Send a private message

Well, can't win them all. Better luck next time...

4 0
Reply Report
ajh1800 25
Send a private message

Stories like this are a large part of why I don't drink. YDI

6 0
Reply Report
Amy78_fml 11
Send a private message

I see some behavior that would be a turn off.

21 0
Reply Report
Gofuckyourself 24

Preach!

0 0
Reply Report
AstroTurfMatador 11
Send a private message

"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.

26 3
Reply Report
RichardPencil 30
Send a private message

It means there were exactly two people in the room, and at that number, everyone knows with 100% certainty who farted. There’s no plausible deniability.

9 0
Reply Report
BurnInDemonFire 32
Send a private message

Nice to see that the Hannah Montana persona lived on after Miley Cyrus walked away from the show, but the "protagonist needs to be drunk to be funny" cliché sounds like something Tom Green came up with.

2 4
Reply Report
DaDezza244 31
Send a private message

Were you drunk when you wrote this FML?

3 0
Reply Report
Sinshine 28
Send a private message

If you're expecting sympathy, you're not going to get it here. But I can see why your crush isn't making out with you.

11 0
Reply Report
RichardPencil 30
Send a private message

I’ll bet the new girl holds her liquor far better than you.

5 0
Reply Report
tharnden 1
Send a private message

I was reading this as though OP was a dude. But then realized OP is a chick and was like, "CLASSY!!!"

4 6
Reply Report
julfunky 29
Send a private message

So are you suggesting this would be ok if OP was a guy?

1 1
Reply Report
Gofuckyourself 24

OP never identified their gender so you shouldn't be assuming either or. I'm just saying, not looking to get into the whole gender debate.

0 1
Reply Report
acmariner99 25
Send a private message

Got too drunk (the rest is history). Did we learn something?

2 0
Reply Report
Next