By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks 871
You deserved it 3 910
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AstroTurfMatador 11
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"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.

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Amy78_fml 11
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I see some behavior that would be a turn off.

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Virids 13
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Well, can't win them all. Better luck next time...

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ajh1800 25
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Stories like this are a large part of why I don't drink. YDI

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Amy78_fml 11
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I see some behavior that would be a turn off.

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Gofuckyourself 24

Preach!

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AstroTurfMatador 11
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"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.

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RichardPencil 30
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It means there were exactly two people in the room, and at that number, everyone knows with 100% certainty who farted. There’s no plausible deniability.

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BurnInDemonFire 32
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Nice to see that the Hannah Montana persona lived on after Miley Cyrus walked away from the show, but the "protagonist needs to be drunk to be funny" cliché sounds like something Tom Green came up with.

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DaDezza244 31
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Were you drunk when you wrote this FML?

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Sinshine 27
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If you're expecting sympathy, you're not going to get it here. But I can see why your crush isn't making out with you.

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RichardPencil 30
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I’ll bet the new girl holds her liquor far better than you.

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davidfong 14
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Maybe you shouldn’t drink.

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tharnden 1
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I was reading this as though OP was a dude. But then realized OP is a chick and was like, "CLASSY!!!"

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julfunky 29
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So are you suggesting this would be ok if OP was a guy?

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Gofuckyourself 24

OP never identified their gender so you shouldn't be assuming either or. I'm just saying, not looking to get into the whole gender debate.

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