Intimacy: Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of...

By callie - 18/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 946

You deserved it 6 641

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 13:00 - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 5 870

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 4 702

Get where you can!

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 02:14 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 422

You deserved it 9 773

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 166

You deserved it 36 787

By Sexy Rash - 21/02/2014 23:26 - Australia - Wallgrove

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 612

You deserved it 8 331

Bitten

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 00:01 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I had to explain to a lady that the reason I mindlessly touched my crotch was to itch a mosquito bite. She didn't believe me, and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 518

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 057

You deserved it 10 552

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 620

You deserved it 233

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 041

You deserved it 35 380

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 900

You deserved it 5 800

BShady96 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:12

well it does count as selfpleasuring...

missfml1105 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:22

ok but if it was your outer thigh she should have realized that your handwasnt in your crotch...

Comments

nobaconforyou 6

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:29

that bites.

agSWAAAAG 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:28

wow NOBODY saw that one coming! lololol great one!!

akmufasa 1

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:31

how did you get mosquito bites in pants? ,:o

barlessprison 16

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:07

Mosquitos bite you in the darnest places. I should know; I've had way too many bites on my neck that looked like hickeys.

slinkydee 2

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:34

Trust me, they can get you through clothing! we had a killer mosquito plague last year and they were huge and no matter how much repellant & coils we used it made little difference, so i decided to layer up despite it being in the middle of a heatwave. They still managed to attack me through a hoodie, trackies and gloves. theyre little assholes!

tnlander 20

Saturday 18 June 2011 16:22

Ever heard of shorts?

ribbyc80 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:31

this is when you look up with a greedy grin and ask for a hand!!

TheMonica 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:52

From their mom? Ick.

agSWAAAAG 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:29

13-repeat after me: **** is fake and things like that neverrr happen.

ribbyc80 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 13:17

HAHAHA

1215116a 14

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:32

Ask her for lotion for your needs and see what happens...

SandraGee 7

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:32

Why don't you show her the bites?

1215116a 14

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:34

Because they're near op's crotch?

Jacobt24 19

Saturday 18 June 2011 20:24

They are on the outside of her thighs. No one's crotch is there.

fadingaway 17

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:34

There isn't an e in mosquito.

mnohoe 9

Saturday 18 June 2011 19:21

No one gives a shit buddy. Take that E and shove it.

textwork 4

Saturday 18 June 2011 12:41

you shoulda masterbated then since she already thinks you did

ItWasAllWorthIt 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:07

I would cry if my mom even said the word ********** to me.

quinnjamin10 2

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:17

what the ****? Why?? its only a word... *mom walks in* "**********, **********, ********** heeheehee, LMFAO WHY YOU CRYING??" ... thats how it would go down.