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I would have acted like I was in terrible pain, fake some tears, called the police for assault and press charges. Teach the old bag to keep her hands to herself. Just because you're old, doesn't give you the right to hit people.

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I got pushed by an old lady, trying to help her with the groceries. Stupid ungrateful ass had an arm on her. She must've been a lesbian.

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This reminds of the Seinfeld episode where Jerrys foot falls asleep and he stands up and walks around to wake it up and the store owner who had a limp walks in and thinks Jerrys mocking him, so he flips out.

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