Am I the only person who doesn't have a clue what this FML is about?

I am lost too haha

Same

Op apparently got her nose ring stuck in (or rather on) a bag of scented pine cones while shopping at Target. Her boyfriend went to help her, but since he was dressed exactly like a Target employee, spectators thought she had gotten a Target employee to help cut her free from the bag. Having an employee have to rescue you in public with everyone watching is pretty embarrassing--although in this case it was actually her boyfriend.

Hopefully, he’ll get recognized for delivering excellent customer service!

All they need to do is furnish him a name tag, and they’ve got an instant employee-of-the-month candidate.

Once again, you and I are kept apart, oh sweet scented pine cones. -Patrick Star

This is why people tell you not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong.

My first readthrough, I misread 'septum' as 'scrotum', and was VERY confused as to how one would manage to do that.

What were you trying to in the first place?

Well at least you caught your piercing on something that actually smelled good.

I don’t know why, but my mind instantly interchanges septum with scrotum. So I had to reread this a few times before I finally understood what actually happened. Though, the first scenario was immensely more humorous.

Uh... how? You had to be that close to smell them? And, even if I get thumbed down for this, I'm going to say it - I'm sorry, but septum piercings aren't attractive, so you kind of deserve it there.

What in the world were you trying to do, snort them? If you can't smell something like that without shoving them up your nose, it's not doing its job.