By KC - 25/04/2012 20:06 - United Kingdom - Cambridge
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Yeah, respect for your parents is important. But a child being a smartass when one of their parents calls them a son of a bitch is understandable. Children learn respect from their parents; perhaps the OP would have learned respect better if her mother would rationally discuss things with her and be the adult, instead of allowing her emotions to take control and snap on her daughter.
YDI for disrespecting the woman who brought you into the world. With that said, your mother doesn't sound like the most reasonable person. I'm not asking you to lay down and agree to whatever she says. I'm asking that you take her views into consideration, and respectfully disagree. Bring a better attitude to your next argument, and it'll work out better. *steps off of soapbox*
59 - respect does go both ways... When you're talking about adults who do not depend on one another for anything... When you're a child that is still living at home, and at an age to be able to be grounded then you better damn well respect your parents regardless for not kicking you out or sending you into foster care...
I agree with #1. Ya, it's wrong for your parents to swear at you, but something caused her to swear(...op being a smartarse). For example, my dad who is always understanding and very kind will swear every so often when he gets really aggravated because we I am being rude to the person that raised me. So op should not be complaining that he/she got grounded for being disrespectful to his/her mom and ydi.
Let me say this. If either of my parents, since I was about 15 called me anything, or even tried to discipline me by grounding me, I did the same thing and more, op does not deserve to be treated in such a way, if a parent says that to their child it insults only themselves, children don't choose their parents, but people choose to be bitches, so who indeed is the smart ass to say such a thing, the child for retaliation to such abuse, or the parent who said it to their child? I would have called my mother out too, but then again I'm a guy, and haven't cared much for my parents for most of my life.
Oh, how enjoyable it is when parents make themselves look like fools. Too bad the laughter and snide remarks have to be made inside.
Happens to me a lot so i just sit there and agree so i dont start shit with my parents. Its really worthless to fight back because the parents will always win. .-.
Even if you win an argument against your parents, you are sent to your room - there's no point. But I congratulate you for winning.
I do. Many parents are selfish and controlling, with little logic behind their actions aside from 'I brought you into this world, thus you owe me.' That's your damn obligation, parents. You made the conscious decision to bring life into the world, thus that is your full responsibility. Your kids don't owe you shit for creating them. For those on the mother's side, how is it ok to punish your child for defending themselves against your bullshit? It's not 'respect' that these kinds of parents desire, it's fear and submission. A tad different and less respectable.
imaging one day your kids would say/post the same thing... thumb me down if u guys want, but we should all pay some respect to parents! They have responsibility to take care of us but don't have obligation to buy good food or new cloth or anything for us that's out of ordinary or just for entertainment. Be grateful that your parents always cares and worries about you.
First of all,I have made the conscious decision to never procreate. That stands, and is undebatable. Second, good food and new clothing isn't 'out of the ordinary'. If you're going to bring life into the world, you better be fucking ready to provide for it. This means going into your own precious pocket and spending your booze money on necessities for your child. Among those necessities, factors that would contribute to their development, such as education and forms of entertainment, are also required. I don't mean spoiling them rotten and buying them mountains of treats or Apple products. Things to keep them entertained and ensure positive development. Books, art supplies, some nice movies, etc. Also actually interacting with them, like playing backyard sports and games, or trips to the park. Reading to them, teaching them right from wrong without resorting to verbal or physical abuse. Actually giving a shit. It's both sad and ironic how people like myself, who are never having children, are the most qualified in logic and empathy to do so.
If you want your children to respect you, give them a fucking reason to do so. Respect is earned. It isn't simply 'owed' to you because you got knocked up and popped one out. Children are not brainless little shits, they are adults in the pupal stage. They require guidance. It's your job to make sure they don't develop into brainless little shits.
Well put, 94! That's exactly it, children are our future. How we shape and mold them through life and lessons is how they are going to act throughout their own lives. You can't teach a child they are a possession of their parents, the child will never know independence.
first, if it is undebatable then it must be when all the human beings are prefect and make no mistake on the words they use and the way they act. Just because the parents are out of temper few times and used wrong word doesn't make them unrespectable (grammar nazis, come and correct this) cause people make tons mistakes in their life. second, i didn't say food and cloth are out of ordinary, i apology for my bad grammar, the things that's out of ordinary in my opinion is things that is not covered by needs but by wants, sorry for the bad way of using words, and since no laws has said that parents must provide what kids wants, which includes entertainments and fun stuffs, they don't have obligation to except for moral reasons. In addition, everything you have said is to be true for ideal parents only in which people are perfect, but no one is. Not everyone is highly educated and not every one can use words like those ass lawyers, just because the parents got pushed to the edge by their child and used wrong word and reacted as most traditional parents are, grounding child, this does not make them jerk and unrespectable compare to all other things they have ever done for you and provided for you. In my opinion, if parents have ever cared and worried about you, they desire to earn more than just respected from you because at least they are there when you needed them, always takes care of you and provide shelters and entertainments for you. And at least they have been trying to be the person for you and that is more than enough to earn you respect cause they are the only few people in the world that actually have and give a dam about your life. and you said you are over qualified!? yea, of course it is very easy to say, try it yourself. No one is overqualified for been a parents, because there's no perfect human beings, not you nor your kids. Unless you are perfect, there would be no way your kids will follow everything you said cause you might be doing the same thing unintentionally, which could be the reason why your kids are doing it. and when you brought that up to them, they will think like regular people would, why things you can do or other people can do I can't and blame you for restrict them to much, and blah blah. And not everyone is extreme good at arguing like those ass lawyers can, and they do get cornered by kids very often cause their knowledge something just wasn't enough to answer all the questions kids have in their mind, but although the parents don't know how to argue back, they still think they were right cause they just lived too much longer then the kids do and believe they had more experience and just won't yield to the kids cause basic sin of human beings, pride. At the end, parents always win, and kids always complain will still be the result even after centuries later. grammar nazis, i welcome you to come and sorry for anything i wrote that you can't understand, and the repetitive things i typed...
It is undebatable because no one knows what I want to do with my life better than myself. I also never said I was 'over-qualified'. Nor was I suggesting I know everything about OP's home life; I was speaking on the topic in general. I also know plenty of parents that are far from perfect, but treat their children with kindness and empathy. Those children show promise, more than I can say for many. Lastly, aside from all the incoherent babbling, grammatical errors, inconsistencies, and words you just put in my mouth, I have only one question for you. What the fuck is an 'ass lawyer'??
well, you are not in op's mom's shoes, so there would be no way to know whether you would or could act better than her does. Certainly you might not say "son of bitch" but who knows what else you could do. if you want to insist you would treat the kid with kindness, be my guest, i'll just shut here. and i never said op shouldn't argued back, it is in the nature of the human beings to argue. what i'm saying is in my opinion we should all respect our parents for all the good things have done for us and all our wants that they have satisfied us. just because few argument cases like this, doesn't make op's mom unrespectable. and an ass lawyer is a lawyer who is extremely good at arguing and willing to turn the cases over for bad people just for money (although most lawyer is good at arguing, i just like to refer to those specific one for the sake to call them ass lawyer, not because i think op is wrong, cause i don't know what the cause of the argument is). not every one has that kind arguing talent is what i try to say...
I seem to not have grasped the weight of a single thing you said!? i could pretty much say the same thing to you for the fact that I kept saying parents should have the respect from kids when they "do" care and worry about them and provided more than just the "needs" to survival but the "wants" to have fun. which excludes the parents who don't do the above, but can you proof op's mom never did it? Just because that little mon-daughter argument doesn't turn op's mom into a person unrespectable person, and things like that just a part of life everyone has been through it and that doesn't make op's mom a very bad mother and does not love her daughter. and if you can't proof you mother doesn't love you and has never provided you with the "wants" to entertainment then I think you should pay respect to the parent not simply because they popped you out, but they love you by heart.
first, if you really think i misread everything you said then maybe your writing skill is not at next level cause I can clearly understand newspapers, journals, articles, and physic textbooks just fine. second, you the one who avoid answering whether a parents who do love their children and provide them more than just shelter should earn their respect despite all the arguments they had or would have in their life. and you go straight to say a parents don't deserve respect if they are neglectful, abusive, and just plain shitty people. In which i don't think a neglectful, abusive, and just plain shitty people truly love their kids or would provide them with more than just shelter when they could use the extra money for other things. so how should i understand your comment? you agree with me or not??? plus most parents don't just brought the child into existence, unless they died right away or fled. There's law that force them at least to provide the needs to their child. And I never said those people who only provided needs should be respected, sorry if you can't understand that from all my comments. third, if you are really tired, don't comment back, no one force you to. just ignore me like if I'm just talking to air. lastly, maybe i am talking to your "ass lawyer" right now and like i said, i am horrible at grammar. that's why i open my door to grammar nazis so i could at least learn from my mistake, and people learn faster from doing than reading.
VasilisaUzhasnaj- it's easy to act like you have all the answers and know how every situation should be handled when you've never actually been in a situation like this before. I'm glad you're so versed on the subject even though you don't have kids of your own. (Hope you stick with that decision!)
VasilisaUzhasnaj, it sounds like maybe you didn't have the best of parents..from everything you mentioned, talking about spending your "booze money" on your kids instead?! Perhaps you didn't have the best examples growing up and that's why you now have such extreme views..
People like you are the most qualified' to have/raise kids. Again, it's very easy to have all the answers when it's something you've never actually done before. Glad you know the proper way to handle raising kids & what to do in any given circumstance, maybe you should write a parenting book!!!
I was bored and decided to pop back here to see if I got any more stupid replies. Glad to see I wasn't crazy for thinking I would. I myself had a shitty abusive upbringing, however no one in my family ever drank or did any sort of drugs. The reason I speak the way I do (and it does seem like, hey, people actually agree with me) is because I am easily able to empathize with anyone, children and parents alike, with a totally logical mindset. The most important people in the situation will always be the children. They are created, thus their development is the responsibility of the parent. They owe the parents nothing. I also know enough people from both sides of the spectrum, good and shitty parents alike. Many of my friends and acquaintances are already parents, and I help them out with sound advice when I can. There's really no need for you to be a douche because I make perfect sense and you're for some reason itching to use a predictable 'you must not have been hugged enough as a child' type of logic. My arguments against that jibbering idiot are completely valid.
Btw 105, one last comment, you don't know the mother either, so don't lecture people on how she's automatically right, my mom chose to smoke pot and abandon me, my little brother, and my little sister, but according to your logic, because she's my mom, she is correct to call me a bastard and piece of shit when I argued with her about whether or not I should give her $500?
You know, there are certain times to be a smart ass, and there are certain times to be one. This was not one of them. YDI.