By stupidboss - United States - Bellingham Today, I got into a car accident with my boss, and he asked if I could come to work the next day. I'm in the hospital and he knows it. FML I agree, your life sucks 20429 You deserved it 1146 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheSuregeon - United States Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26036 You deserved it 5910 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ddhaley1 - United States - Edmond Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML I agree, your life sucks 24443 You deserved it 3158 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By knock_out - United States Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML I agree, your life sucks 37760 You deserved it 4863 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kaite Today, I was working at Subway when a middle-aged lady demanded that I give her a sandwich for free. When I refused, she took out a spray bottle of water and sprayed me in the face, like a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 4511 You deserved it 258 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By billiams15 - United States - Katy Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML I agree, your life sucks 23327 You deserved it 4301 203 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous 3spooky5me Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2505 You deserved it 214 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bitches. - United States Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 65318 You deserved it 3427 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jae_Hellyun - United States Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 54917 You deserved it 4333 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Carrollton Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML I agree, your life sucks 47123 You deserved it 6518 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkinsCastSelection - France Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML I agree, your life sucks 34379 You deserved it 8264 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dragonstooth257 Today, my child is so super clingy and needy, I have to sit and watch her bounce on the trampoline attentatively or else face hours and hours of whining. She's like the Screamapillar from the Simpsons. FML I agree, your life sucks 1517 You deserved it 1376 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ClothMom - United States Today, I was visited by Child Protective Services. Seems someone on my street reported me for neglect because I cloth diaper my children. I moved in less than 6 months ago, so I guess this is how they say, "welcome to the neighborhood" about these parts. FML I agree, your life sucks 36126 You deserved it 3700 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jimmy - Canada - Orangeville Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 23889 You deserved it 2451 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By keyless - United Kingdom - Aberdeen Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML I agree, your life sucks 29271 You deserved it 2181 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unknown - Canada Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML I agree, your life sucks 33409 You deserved it 6840 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - India - New Delhi Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML I agree, your life sucks 23141 You deserved it 42189 321 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By missmom83 - United States - Torrington Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML I agree, your life sucks 40998 You deserved it 5462 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML I agree, your life sucks 11914 You deserved it 30618 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just a joke - 2/11/2020 05:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht No jokes allowed Today, my boyfriend called my mother stupid and angrily argued with her at a family dinner. Why? We have a long-running family joke that "vegan food doesn't contain calories", and my boyfriend thought my mum said it seriously and was therefore a moron. FML I agree, your life sucks 891 You deserved it 177 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chelseaface - United States Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 37500 You deserved it 3613 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Norway - Bergen Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML I agree, your life sucks 44652 You deserved it 3938 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fiendishkitty - United States Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML I agree, your life sucks 49773 You deserved it 4088 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML I agree, your life sucks 35144 You deserved it 2585 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cali - United States Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML I agree, your life sucks 12837 You deserved it 33231 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GabyLeann - United States Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML I agree, your life sucks 11290 You deserved it 34535 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By painfulintercourse - Canada Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 39439 You deserved it 8338 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not drunk - Brazil - Santa Maria Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML I agree, your life sucks 34489 You deserved it 4682 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bitty - United States Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML I agree, your life sucks 25244 You deserved it 6869 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/8/2020 23:01 Fly me to the moon Today, I booked a long distance flight across two continents, costing me over 600 bucks. I then got a confirmation email. For a different flight. I wrote to their customer service address, saying there has been an error, and to please either change or cancel the booking. I never got any reply. At all. FML I agree, your life sucks 1310 You deserved it 158 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Danielle - United States Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML I agree, your life sucks 18287 You deserved it 27243 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BrianP - Netherlands Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML I agree, your life sucks 49406 You deserved it 4022 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By herdopera Today, my parents announced they are adding a sister-wife to our very conservative Christian family. FML I agree, your life sucks 2899 You deserved it 215 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By william - United States Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML I agree, your life sucks 9884 You deserved it 32293 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML I agree, your life sucks 33540 You deserved it 6713 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Desoto Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 55511 You deserved it 4617 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By indi1011 - Australia Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML I agree, your life sucks 45970 You deserved it 25419 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By joe - France Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML I agree, your life sucks 11414 You deserved it 37714 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stutterernotschizophrenic Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML I agree, your life sucks 26691 You deserved it 2966 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jcdc - United States - Georgetown Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML I agree, your life sucks 24343 You deserved it 8766 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Grossedouttt - United States TMI Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML I agree, your life sucks 43271 You deserved it 3686 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Soninuva | 41 #6571297 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:08 This is where you get HR involved, regardless of whom was at fault in the accident (though especially if it was your boss that was). Send a private message 180 2 Reply
By Darkness_Hate | 29 #6571304 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:23 Guess he wants an excuse to fire you.. Send a private message 132 2 Reply
By Soninuva | 41 #6571297 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:08 This is where you get HR involved, regardless of whom was at fault in the accident (though especially if it was your boss that was). Send a private message 180 2 Reply
By _burstpoop | 4 #6571298 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:08 maybe time to get a new job? Send a private message 3 14 Reply
Reply lexos | 16 #6571310 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:44 It's not that easy to the moment to find a new job Send a private message 18 1 Reply
By Tejanoswhy | 19 #6571301 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:13 Your boss is a dick Send a private message 15 1 Reply
By george_s_4 | 30 #6571303 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:18 don't go in. If he fires you take it to HR Send a private message 33 1 Reply
Reply mariri9206 | 32 #6571485 - Thursday 31 March 2016 18:18 No need to take it to HR (yet) - their boss only ASKED if they could come in to work, not that they had to; OP can say no. 0 11 Reply
Reply soullyfe | 33 #6571600 - Thursday 31 March 2016 20:50 17: The boss shouldn't have asked in the first place knowing OP is in the hospital. No one should be that dense. Send a private message 13 1 Reply
By Darkness_Hate | 29 #6571304 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:23 Guess he wants an excuse to fire you.. Send a private message 132 2 Reply
By rustybucket | 24 #6571307 - Thursday 31 March 2016 12:39 This makes me so mad. I'm sorry your boss is a dick, OP. Hope you're doing okay and recover quickly! Send a private message 14 1 Reply
By Brair | 3 #6571314 - Thursday 31 March 2016 13:00 I would bet he is setting you up for a fall. I am not talking just about trying to fire you. Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By Karma220 | 7 #6571326 - Thursday 31 March 2016 13:37 If you were driving on company time your boss is trying to avoid getting hit with Workmen's Comp. and having their insurance go up Send a private message 10 0 Reply
By Headcrab | 29 #6571354 - Thursday 31 March 2016 14:54 Maybe he was just inquiring? Send a private message 4 1 Reply
Reply BlockOfRedStone | 25 #6571710 - Friday 1 April 2016 0:25 Exactly what I was thinking. My first thought was that OP might have misunderstood and the boss was just asking if OP was physically capable of leaving the hospital and getting back to work without over-stressing themselves. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By rt58killer10 | 19 #6571385 - Thursday 31 March 2016 16:14 Damn, get HR to do something about it Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 You deserved it 56 1 Comments
Today, I found out that my cross-dressing father and my recently deceased mother were having a much more "open" relationship then they'd let on, when the... I agree, your life sucks 180 You deserved it 28 1 Comments