Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently,... - FML

By wtfguys - 13/10/2014 08:17 - United States

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35155

You deserved it

3648

Tweet

Share

Breaking Badly

They're everywhere

Not a cheating!

By Nick - 20/7/2013 19:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

61083

You deserved it

5096

Tweet

Share

By gettingacat - 17/12/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27755

You deserved it

5582

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/3/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42790

You deserved it

6088

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/9/2011 15:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that includes the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28296

You deserved it

2981

Tweet

Share

By Anon - 25/11/2009 01:54 - New Zealand

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37685

You deserved it

1917

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/9/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33088

You deserved it

5573

Tweet

Share

By Animal - 24/2/2011 19:14 - Canada

One day…

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37123

You deserved it

17049

Tweet

Share

By Anonymousagb - 24/4/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28904

You deserved it

91951

Tweet

Share

By Clumsy76 - 20/4/2018 15:00

Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3581

You deserved it

318

Tweet

Share

By junior - 11/4/2010 08:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20201

You deserved it

46232

Tweet

Share

By smallmediumatlrg - 25/6/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43204

You deserved it

6992

Tweet

Share

By Jennnn - 16/9/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8785

You deserved it

57055

Tweet

Share

By Wenny - 18/1/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49258

You deserved it

2946

Tweet

Share

By LittleArtist - 18/2/2014 01:01 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40223

You deserved it

5229

Tweet

Share

By melikeyturtles - 3/7/2012 15:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27969

You deserved it

2800

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/1/2015 23:32 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29394

You deserved it

2579

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 20:11 - Sweden

Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32517

You deserved it

13765

Tweet

Share

By chellegbelle - 14/5/2014 21:46 - United States - Graham

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44314

You deserved it

3904

Tweet

Share

By Sotired - 1/3/2019 17:00 - United States - Medford

Today, after working 12 shifts in the past 8 days at 2 jobs and thinking today was a day off, I got the call that I misread my schedule and I was in fact scheduled. Got off at 2:30 am, work again at 9 am with 9 shifts to go this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2310

You deserved it

278

Tweet

Share

By mayhemily - 21/9/2015 16:22 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22387

You deserved it

2914

Tweet

Share

By SadMan - 19/1/2010 00:41 - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32323

You deserved it

7351

Tweet

Share

By insearch4i - 22/1/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16809

You deserved it

31051

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/4/2014 21:42 - United States - Red Bank

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36354

You deserved it

14228

Tweet

Share

By sleepless - 18/2/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26636

You deserved it

3437

Tweet

Share

By Danners88 - 11/11/2009 04:36 - Australia

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

I agree, your life sucks

46236

You deserved it

2826

Tweet

Share

By AnonymousLoser - 11/9/2013 09:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57915

You deserved it

3722

Tweet

Share

By f4444 - 21/12/2015 05:38 - United States - Highland Park

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23975

You deserved it

2580

Tweet

Share

By kaybear13 - 5/8/2015 08:39 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I got written up because apparently leaning on the counter at work is unprofessional, even if you're about to pass out and the counter is the only thing keeping you on your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25449

You deserved it

2370

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/9/2019 10:00 - United States

Sounds healthy

Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1614

You deserved it

131

Tweet

Share

By Coolkid. - 14/6/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51537

You deserved it

3871

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/4/2016 14:34 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21023

You deserved it

1532

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/3/2013 05:19 - United States

Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36510

You deserved it

4110

Tweet

Share

By Craig - 17/2/2010 06:30 - Canada

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15416

You deserved it

32851

Tweet

Share

By confused - 2/9/2010 21:09 - Canada

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38494

You deserved it

3544

Tweet

Share

By hitandrun - 10/8/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11098

You deserved it

74966

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/4/2015 20:55 - Australia - Caroline Springs

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39121

You deserved it

3245

Tweet

Share

By Devil - 11/12/2012 06:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30431

You deserved it

5731

Tweet

Share

By jjcod - 31/5/2014 09:13 - United Kingdom - London

Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41176

You deserved it

10162

Tweet

Share

By Ashley J. - 1/3/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60122

You deserved it

17469

Tweet

Share

By drfrogpepper - 1/1/2011 23:50 - United States

Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32952

You deserved it

3587

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By TanzWolf | 26

#6088517 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:12

Ouch, that sucks for them though... They must be good friends. The pain they went through just for you.

By xXToxicPenguinXx | 12

#6088519 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:13

i think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit

COMMENTS

By Nederlander95 | 14

#6088515 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:12

What a hairy situation.

Reply

sayyestothedress | 24

#6088549 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:22

No just don't

Reply

Roskosity | 22

#6088592 - Monday 13 October 2014 17:46

Yeah stop. Fur real.

Reply

gatorclay97 | 28

#6089072 - Tuesday 14 October 2014 3:06

GTFO.

Reply

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6089283 - Tuesday 14 October 2014 8:38

Don't cough up a pube ball now...

By TanzWolf | 26

#6088517 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:12

Ouch, that sucks for them though... They must be good friends. The pain they went through just for you.

Reply

EverestMelting | 23

#6088555 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:25

All joking aside, I think this can constitute as a situation where these are obviously OPs best friends. They probably wouldn't have done that if they didn't like OP.

Reply

stellamahone | 4

#6088596 - Monday 13 October 2014 17:50

lol op this reminds of spongebob

Reply

randomcrazyguy | 17

#6088676 - Monday 13 October 2014 18:56

Sweater of eyelashes? Maybe they will make him a pubic hair sweater

Reply

sexpectations | 15

#6088907 - Monday 13 October 2014 23:28

It really just seems like a lose-lose situation

Reply

Mauskau | 35

#6089021 - Tuesday 14 October 2014 1:31

You mean if they didn't like OP they wouldn't think of sticking their pubes on them? D:

By Adeptasaurus | 12

#6088518 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:12

I'm sorry op, *insert witty joke here*

Reply

PresidentNorth | 16

#6088567 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:34

Could have just put the joke. Now I'll forever wonder what witty joke you could have. Why couldn't you just put the joke?!?!

By xXToxicPenguinXx | 12

#6088519 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:13

i think i just threw up in my mouth a little bit

Reply

arrow007archer | 19

#6089064 - Tuesday 14 October 2014 2:40

That's Nasty

Reply

randomgirl1234 | 20

#6090275 - Wednesday 15 October 2014 18:24

Same. That's just gross

Reply

xXToxicPenguinXx | 12

#6090377 - Wednesday 15 October 2014 20:52

Well people don't get expressions.. smh

By missyfiona89 | 28

#6088522 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:14

Masochists. That's what they are.

By listner1 | 9

#6088524 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:14

That's plain disgusting.

By iAmPaul | 49

#6088531 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:15

Sounds like good old-fashioned fun.

By nela25 | 23

#6088532 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:15

I'm more concerned about the fact that they willingly decided to turn that into a game. Because waxing down there hurts like hell!

Reply

ninety | 25

#6088839 - Monday 13 October 2014 21:46

Right? Would have been way less painful to just shave and go from there.

By shay_serendipity | 29

#6088533 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:15

That is all kinds of messed up.

By justinemalang1 | 14

#6088535 - Monday 13 October 2014 16:16

What the fuck kind of friends are those? Hope you enjoyed the hairy situation. I'm just kidding.