By onlyme123
Today, I got a phone call. I thought it was just one of these toll free numbers that were always calling so when I answered the phone, I said, “City morgue: you stab 'em, we slab 'em! How may I help you?” It was my college calling to discuss my grades. FML
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By  Dave_Davington  |  33

Relax. Not everyone has a massive stick up their arse. I'm sure whoever called realises it's a joke and found it as mildly amusing as we all did. If not, then it's more fuck their life for having so much sand in their vagina.

By  RichardPencil  |  30

I hope you’re not majoring in Comedy. That joke is so old and stale, they would have lowered your grade on the spot.

You should have gone with “You kill ‘em, we chill ‘em.”


Yes. Major Arnold Comedy was born in 1889, and fought in the British Army during World War One. He is famous for reaching the rank of Major faster than anyone, achieving the distinction on March 13, 1915. He went on to marry Countess Emilia Rose in 1920, and had three children, Michael, Jane, and Suzanne. He died in 1966, leaving his family the small fortune of £4.8 million, after having donated £200k to many different charities.

By  Emma1562  |  35

My dad did that to my phone and it turned out to be my choir teacher. He answered it as “bitches anonymous, how may I help you?” She just awkwardly laughed and said who it was.

By  Charlie Given  |  23

It's a classic, when I was a kid our home phone number was 1 number different from local post office and the city morgue for yrs. we'd get wrong number calls and thanks to when caller ID came out I could tell if it was a local call for post office or a municipal call for the morgue and I would always answer with this is the post office for the city or morgue for the locals always got a laugh.