By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 898
You deserved it 62 216

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once the bj is done, you really don't need to do anything sexy. Or really anything at all, fall asleep on the floor if you want, we don't care.

omg. more like f his life!

Comments

damn.... you Fucked up his dick

firstt!?! omg thats so cool im so jealous -_-

If you keep refreshing fmylife.com just to get first and just for the satisfaction, your pretty damn sad. Also, hey, he will be circumsized now.

Today, my girlfriend gave me a great blowjob. When she was done, she did something with her teeth and somehow my foreskin got caught in my zipper. FML

You mentioned circumcision. Just note, all those women who are die hard against circumcision (though I don't know why you'd care, since you have no penis yourself), THIS is just on reason, lol.

Yikes... Hopefully your tounge didn't caught too, that wuda been some e.r event for the doctors to work on xD

People bitching about supposed STD transmission from a foreskin should do a tad bit of math. Average rate of HIV infection in the entire US is about 0.1% chance. For each exposure (unprotected) a person has to the virus... there is roughly a 1.2% chance of contracting it (Harvard medical journal). ie. even if circumcision removed that risk by 25%... you'd still be looking at a 0.075% chance of HIV from the general population... Statistically insignificant and worthless to discuss. Please shut up and leave any unnecessary medical procedures up to the decision of the KID. The loss of sexual nerve endings are almost never worth that tiny ass percentage difference to any guy. Stop with the archaic shit.

124, true for me too, my future husband has full say as to whether or not our son(s) will be circumcised. I'm not Jewish, I don't have a dick, so I don't care. OP, that sounds like a very tricky move. Leave it to the pros next time.

YDI for being a clumsy bitch. Seriously. I'd dump you if I was him =/

FHISLIFE HARRRRRRRRD! OWWWWWWWCHHHJJJ!!!!!!

Ouch is sure right. I wonder how he hid his penis on the way to the ER.

Hehe...he deserves it for having a foreskin....

235 i hope that was a fucking joke...

omg. more like f his life!

why would you try to be sexy after he was finished? thats fuckin stupid.

That's what I was thinking. It was sexy enough to do the spontaneous blow job.

seriously, most men lose interest in sex the moment they orgasm. Cuddling? possibly. More sex? Not for most guys.

I was thinking the same thing as #3. Watching two lesbians finger each other wouldn't turn me on right after an orgasm. And this is more like an F HIS life.

Perhaps sexy is the wrong word, but it would be pretty exotic to see my girl doing something like that. Just the smirk of satisfaction and dedication to the end would be pretty attractive, even if you're not just about to move on to round 2. I think done right it would definitely be something fairly memorable. Kudos to her for the effort.

#20: TMI. They aren't real lesbians. Sorry.

....................................

You speak the truth. They aren't real lesbians. I'm a lesbian and I can't stand lesbian porn, it's made for men anyways. OP, nice try.. but you failed.

Since you're a real lesbian, want to kook up with my lesbian friend and you two can make a REAL lesbian porno. ;-)

Lol. Speak for yourselves on the no immediate interest in sex after orgasm front.

Maybe men aren't generally interested in sex right after they finish. That doesn't make trying to be sexy "fucking stupid". Try to have some respect. You have absolutely no idea what OP and her boyfriend do or expect after sex. It's quite probable that he would appreciate her doing that for him.

once the bj is done, you really don't need to do anything sexy. Or really anything at all, fall asleep on the floor if you want, we don't care.

haha great comment #4... and yeah maybe the unzipping with your mouth would have been good but you can just fucking leave when you're done, you're not needed anymore.. but you sound like a badass girlfriend

I think you're referring to a hooker

I agree with 2 more like f his life

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

..she would have to have a pretty big clit for that to work dont ya think? @ the OP BE CAREFUL!!

did he not have underwear on?? And no offense but how is zipping up pants with your teeth sexy in any way? It just seems a liiiitttle awkward and weird to me

Agree,and seems like it would be hard,because most zippers don't go up that easily LOL. But yeah that's a FHL.

if she did it right, I'd give her a high five

That sucks, but that would actually be really hot. Without the foreskin getting caught thing. :P So props for that haha

Nice one, two bad you didn't bite it off, now that would hurt XD

you are supposed to UNzip with your teeth, not zip with your teeth..... dork

That's what I was thinking, minus the "dork" comment. You sound like a badass girlfriend. Spontaneous blowjobs are ALWAYS awesome.