Miscellaneous: Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook... - FML

21/03/2011 15:03

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 218

You deserved it 4 701

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Creepy idea, dude

Are you sure you're OK?

01/03/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, I saw a man on the bus with the strangest band shirt I have ever seen. I could not help but stare at it and try and figure what the band was, until he turned to me and said "why not take a picture asshole?" then got off the bus. As he walked away I saw that he was missing an arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 395

You deserved it 6 176

12/07/2012 16:08 - United States - Hector

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 876

You deserved it 3 611

10/12/2010 08:24

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 890

You deserved it 5 689

28/05/2012 06:24 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 343

You deserved it 20 456

26/02/2014 03:50 - United States - La Grange

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 486

You deserved it 16 600

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, I shoved my tits in my boyfriend's face and he chose to continue playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 825

Are you a wizard?

By elaine - 02/02/2021 21:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I tried to prove a point to my six-year-old son who refuses to drink water from the kitchen sink in favor of from the bathroom faucet. I filled up two cups, one with the kitchen water and another with the bathroom water, thinking he wouldn’t tell the difference. He gagged on the kitchen water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 833

11/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Elgin

Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 336

Hiding from the drama

By Tiff8any - 14/07/2021 21:59

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 197

28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 038

You deserved it 5 920

22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 380

You deserved it 54 698

13/10/2012 11:22 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 629

You deserved it 3 173

22/12/2014 14:24 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 616

You deserved it 4 249

01/06/2019 12:00

Today, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book at an airport. A woman asked me what I was reading, so I told her. She said, "Oh, so you have children?" Since I'm in my early twenties, I was taken aback and said no. She replied slower and louder, "Oh, so you have a childlike mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 312

08/11/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 951

You deserved it 2 486

20/10/2011 06:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been "single" on numerous occasions during our 9 month relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 885

You deserved it 3 565

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 587

You deserved it 509

04/03/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 612

You deserved it 8 681

25/06/2019 02:30

Today, I discovered just how picky my son is. In addition to understandably not eating vegetables, he also doesn’t eat chicken fingers, pizza, or ice cream, along with several other foods I assumed all kids love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 317

25/06/2011 07:47 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 640

You deserved it 2 973

Where's my explanation?

By wishyouweremeds - 30/10/2019 16:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after two and half years at my company and after recently being promoted, I was told by my boss the business doesn't feel it needs me, and invited me to find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 107

15/01/2016 16:25 - United States - Butte

Today, I told my mother that, after years of cheating and abuse, I'm finally getting a divorce. Her reaction was deep concern that my husband might not want to "be friends" with the rest of the family any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 280

You deserved it 1 544

24/06/2019 14:12

Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally call her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 3 051

15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 4 307

Sharing is caring

By cpmagnusox - 17/03/2020 08:30

Today, my girlfriend and I are so close that we both describe our poops in detail to each other. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 1 176

08/09/2013 16:38 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 919

You deserved it 3 577

27/01/2015 23:46 - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 582

You deserved it 2 378

Giddy approval!

By SailorVenus93 - 29/10/2019 20:00

Today, I got so ecstatic about getting approved for a credit card that I made myself sick. I guess my first ever purchase will be TUMS and some Ginger Ale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 380

Call The Police!

By ChangingTheLocks - 13/07/2019 12:30

Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 120

31/03/2009 01:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 175

You deserved it 6 717

18/03/2013 22:34 - France - Lyon

Spicy

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 517

You deserved it 9 104

26/07/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I got home after a night of drinking with my coworker. We hooked up, but he was so drunk he had to use a flashlight to put it in. Then, he ran out of the room to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 825

Fair analysis

By Avnirvana - 07/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 720

01/01/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 753

You deserved it 7 529

Evil

By Courts - 28/02/2017 21:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 461

You deserved it 504

22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 843

You deserved it 17 808

09/08/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 344

You deserved it 54 197

05/02/2016 22:55 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 021

You deserved it 2 952

Creepypasta

By terrifiedanon - 29/06/2019 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was at a house party and a guy needed a ride somewhere. Our designated driver, being the nice person she is, offered. I was in the back seat with him. His first words were, "Hey guys! I want to clear this awkwardness so… I once saw a 6-year-old girl die during a drive by I was on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 131

11/10/2011 20:05 - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 411

You deserved it 2 924

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:47

Damn Facebook :( Seriously, how hard is it to remember the day your own child was born?? Unless you have like 14 siblings, but even then.. You have lame parents OP, FYL.

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:45

could be worse, at least they added you.

Comments

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:43

aww that sucks :( facebook reminded my parents last week :P

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:50

Yeah I don't understand how a parent could forget their child's birthday, it's not like it changes very often!

sterlingarcher 1

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:02

that so sad! sorry op.. :(

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:27

facebbok reminded mine yesterday:D

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Monday 21 March 2011 21:18

Wow, that really sucks! Happy birthday though!(:

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Monday 21 March 2011 23:01

I agree 6. OPs parents are probably drug addicts or alcoholics because who the he'll in their right mind forgets thirty kid's bday? Happy birthday though

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:51

Facebook reminded me it was my birthday yesterday ! Yea! I can't remember without it! :D

mamamiaaa_fml 12

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 5:38

change your birthday on Facebook every couple of months. if Facebook says it then it must be true.

3NVY 0

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 6:16

well wat if ur birthdays on a leap year so it's. like feb. 30 or something

MisherzzSquisher 0

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Wednesday 23 March 2011 1:07

39 isn't leap year February 29th, cause my mom is born on the 29th. Lol she is technically 11 years old.

Kenik 6

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Wednesday 23 March 2011 3:51

I think Facebook is kind of stupid... I'm glad we don't have Internet anymore because all my mom did was play FarmVille! It got annoying...

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:45

could be worse, at least they added you.

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:23

^^ win

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:27

I blocked my parents

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:55

#42 Me too.

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Monday 21 March 2011 21:53

my parents are too technologically challenge to have facebook.

littlejord007 0

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:16

omg WTF are you doing your profile pic is disgusting holy hell what is wrong with you

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Monday 11 April 2011 2:59

lol

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:47

Damn Facebook :( Seriously, how hard is it to remember the day your own child was born?? Unless you have like 14 siblings, but even then.. You have lame parents OP, FYL.

joseph19921992 10

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:47

You deserve it...you SOB

florecitabetch 0

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:18

your picture it's so scary

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:37

4 need's a new face

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Monday 21 March 2011 22:52

Oh 4, that's sexy.

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:37

that face....such a turn on!

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:48

well then u should have had your birthday set on the right day of facebook shouldnt u?

sweet_candy_ 17

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:52

Here is an idea instead if having Facebook remind them. You should remind them.

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:11

You shouldn't have to remind your own parents of your birthday.

instnt1nfction 17

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:18

you don't?

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Monday 21 March 2011 21:05

they don't love him my parents remember my bday without the help of fb

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Monday 21 March 2011 18:55

that's why I deleted my FB....it consumes peoples lives...smh. Remember the days when you actually got a **GASP** (do I DARE say?) PHONE CALL or BIRTHDAY CARD in the mail wishing you a "Happy Birthday?" Now, we're judged wether or not we're fast enough to write "Happy Birthday" on someone's wall. Point.

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:35

I couldn't agree anymore. I'd actually be pissed if it took Facebook to remind my parents of my birthday.

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:17

facebook keeps you updated tho, like brithdays, events and stuff .

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Thursday 16 January 2014 0:04

So does a calendar, smart one.

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:00

we all deserve it for being on facebook too much. try to spend time doing other things

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Monday 21 March 2011 23:51

how is this a YDI? OP shouldn't have to remind their parents... this is a FYL because that's pathetic..

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Tuesday 22 March 2011 14:58

ya it is, but if we a's a society (not a's an individual) would stop spending so much time on fb, ppl wouldn't rely on it. obviously, her parents are retards, and it is a FYL.

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:01

Facebook is the blame for everything these days!

DesB 7

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:03

that's nothing try being pregnant with your fiancé out of state doing training for the army an not having anybody remember till the next day when I told them...

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Monday 21 March 2011 19:59

what does that have to do with this?

instnt1nfction 17

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Monday 21 March 2011 20:21

what does it not have to do with it?

DesB 7

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Monday 21 March 2011 21:38

it can be worse that's what this has to do with it Brittany

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 291

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 69