By SwimmingInFear - 29/05/2012 03:36 - United States - Havertown

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 068
You deserved it 7 758

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monkeybanana 7

Wouldn't your spouse know that about you?

Don't worry, OP, you'll have a whale of a time

Comments

monkeybanana 7

Wouldn't your spouse know that about you?

I'll fear sharks too but dolphins, really ?

beccaishereyay 11

Maybe he wants to help you face your fear?

BandWagonGuy 8

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Raped to death by a dolphin?!? Come on, that's slightly funny :)

FMLshark 12

Is that why you passed out when you met me, OP? I knew it was a little odd.

You must have great life insurance, I guess he figures if the marine life don't kill you, a heart attack will. My suggestion is to... AH HOLY SHIT A SHARK!

aaahhhfire21 0

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WTF 24 where did you get that

BandWagonGuy 8

What squeeky chipmunk said, bruh.

when I swam with dolphins, I had to sign about a hundred documents stating I would NOT touch the dolphins genitals, for the very reason of them being a very raping-proned animal

58 - or you just seemed to be very suspicious

26, perfect picture for this fml.

thiscrazything 1

Sir, how did your wife die? She was gang raped by Flipper and his friends.... I'm sorry but that seems so funny and is so hard to believe. Don't worry OP, I'm sure the rapests were put away, it is really is quite safe, and you may find out you really like it.

What a dumb thing to say, if it is dangerous you have the right to be afraid of it without having experienced it.

21 - maybe but couldn't he save that for after the honeymoon? It's suppose to be a happy time with no screaming. Except maybe for certain "activities" ;)

Actually, what 24 said is true. I was just reading a few articles on it last week, after a tip off from Cracked.com. ALL TRUE! About 14 people a year in the US are raped by dolphins every year. If you're interested/horrified take a gander, Google "dolphin rape".

dougiewhale 6

24 is right. Dolphins are rapers!

Rapists. Not rapers.

dougiewhale 6

No, it's ok. I'm bringing it back.

110-won't that bring up bestiality porn?

124- It was never here

mxnuelh 2

"Sooner or later you have to face your fears"

KM96 24

Well yes, I can agree with that, but your honeymoon isnt the best time exactly. Dont you think?

beccaishereyay 11

Unless its a fear of sex ;)

jojimugo 20

I believe some fear can go unmet

beccaishereyay 11

Unless its a fear of sex ;) ;) (double wink)

Thank you for clarifying that ";)" twice, in fact does mean 'double wink'.

Dolphins won't harm you

I think overcoming a fear is a good activity for a honeymoon. For me, it creates a sense of security between the couple. What am I talking about? I'm not married; I don't know what I'm talking about :) But seriously, I would rather overcome a fear with my new husband than stay in the hotel the whole time.

Just watch Flipper. You will live Dolphins after that.

Don't worry, OP, you'll have a whale of a time

nadnerbz 6

OP, I hope you sea past your fear.

Oh, i'm shore she will.

Her husband will dolphinately make sure of that.

KriiFahMoro 9

This thread is un-BEAR-ably funny.

They're doing SEA animal puns. -_-

That was a bit shellfish of them.

KriiFahMoro 9

140 - I know, I was just trying to randomly break the chain. Didn't work I guess...

You get no say in choosing where you go on your honeymoon? Isn't it your money too?

Thelnternet 7

surprise honeymoon

it could have been given to her by her parents or in laws.

84 - They were merely clarifying that the OP's is a "surprise honeymoon", which implies it was a gift from someone. No one stated ALL honeymoons are gifts; I believe most couples normally pay and plan their own unless they are very fortunate.

If it involves aquatic animals like that, wouldn't there be a beach nearby that you could enjoy instead?

With those fears, the beach isn't the best place, haha

Yeah but at least on the beach she isn't in the water where she can come in contact with those 3 things

That's true. She can just tell her husband (in a non-bitchy way like some women do) that she's terrified of dolphins, sharks and whales and if they can just spend it in the hotel or the beach.

Then don't swim with the dolphins...?

Not sure why this got thumbed down, seeing as OP said it "involves" swimming with dolphins that implies that it is not the entire honeymoon. OP: Either face your fears with your new life partner or skip out on that part.

LO388 7

But dolphins are awesome, they're the clowns of the sea...oh $#@&, I hope you're not afraid of clowns too.

caplox 6

Do you /have/ to go swimming with the marine life? Try fighting your fears. You probably wont regret it.. Unless a shark bites off your leg but that's unlikely to happen.

FMLshark 12

I don't know. I've been craving a leg for a while.

And judging by your picture, I'm guessing a little foreplay too, shark.

FMLshark 12

That's part of my foreplay, Chipmunk. Human legs are a great aphrodisiac.

Good thing I'm not human then.

I agree, I don't think it'd be regretted. I swam with dolphins a few years ago and while I was a little scared at first, it was an AMAZING experience. It can seem scary but they are quite harmless creatures in most cases.

It is sort of scary at first. But what can help OP, is; if there are Dolphins, there are no sharks around. I think what scared me most at first was the fish.... I am terrified of 'swarming' creatures, so while we snorkelled the boat captain decided to give someone the fish food to swim around with. That was terrifying at first, but the beauty of it sort of smooths out the want to get out of the water as long as the food keeps a bit of a distance.

gdfth 1

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^ I totally understand what you're saying

Be very very rough the night before and scratch your husband. That way of they attack they will go after him, since it was his idea to bring you somewhere you are afraid to go.

caplox 6

Maybe he wants his wife to get over her fears? Maybe he didn't realize she had a huge fear? Maybe he's trying something different for a change.

NoisyNykkii 10

Surprise honeymoon? Those never go well.... Alright, maybe sometimes they do.

At least all three aren't in one big tank for you to swim in.