Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook...

By pwndbykidz - Canada

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

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14722

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Miscellaneous

The View

Monetize your shit life

Yeah, fuck the poor

By Anon - United States

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

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25240

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By Username - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

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60715

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By fuckendog - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

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21202

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By gayvsgay - Germany - V?lklingen

Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23720

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2020 20:00

Stir crazy

Today, I was so bored under quarantine, I spent 2 hours on a colouring book for toddlers. I need human contact, any human, desperately, before I start talking to the walls or seeing pink elephants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1346

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By caiti - United States

Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML

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By Hammy - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

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29639

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By ana9 - France

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19942

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By Lisa

Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML

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2485

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233

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By nobodyreadsmyemails - Canada

Today, I noticed that I've been spelling my company's name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML

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8901

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By wowjuststop - United States

Today, I got offered a ride to go home for the weekend. I go to college six hours away from home and haven't seen my family for almost two months. When I called my mom with the good news, she told me not to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37867

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By mooselord - United States

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39903

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By kacysospacyy - United States

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34967

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By stutterboy - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

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49150

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By Noname - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

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25177

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By Ferniferousfern

Today, I went to the dentist for a tooth extraction. Not only were they not able to extract all of it, but after 7 injections, I was still screaming. The best part? Their referral to someone else fell through, so I head back tomorrow to finish the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3810

You deserved it

307

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By fml_seriouslyfml - United States

Today, I left my wallet on top of my car when I filled up with gas. I drove away and didn't realize it until I got home. I went back and found it on the side of the road. Empty of my credit cards, pictures and checks. All that was left was my driver's license. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27522

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

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31517

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By embarrassed - United States

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

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27933

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By me - United States

Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML

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29894

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

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26293

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By bad sis sad sis - 24/9/2020 02:01

Snitches get stitches

Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar and made me apologize to my sister for saying something “so disgusting” about her. I wasn’t lying and she just smirked the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1209

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By porkythighs - Singapore

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36251

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By vela9002 - United States

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

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70325

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By mirrorfad - France

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

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31439

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By Shelby

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

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1555

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By Son - United States

Today, after an hour-long conversation with my mom that was supposed to help fix our relationship, she said she prefers Beatrice over me and that she's moving in with her. Beatrice is not my sister, she's my older cousin. FML

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2539

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By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

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31879

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1224

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By Unlovedchild

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

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43186

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By triple l - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

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24692

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By jordan.marie97 - Australia

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

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29672

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By Anonymous - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

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30679

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By Anonymous - Australia - Melbourne

Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

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45275

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By Sarah

Today, I had the mole on my neck removed. By my pet bird. FML

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1604

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By hushnow - United States

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

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33758

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By "Courtney Edwards" - United Kingdom - Cwmbran

Today, I was taking care of the general public as a first aider in a massive event. Since the temperature was high, we were expecting many of the older-than-middle-aged women to collapse of heat exhaustion and need to be treated. I didn't realise I would be one of those affected. FML

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3163

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By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid blow job. FML

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24185

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By unknown951

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

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33552

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By Shotacon - United States - Woodbury

Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML

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Top comments

By xcgvx | 0

#473807 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:14

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

By iFRUiTTART | 0

#473799 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:12

LOL . YDI for not realizing they talked like 10 year olds , and for flirting only cuz she was hot . xD

COMMENTS

By Jordie210 | 0

#473782 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:09

baha YDI

Deathlyranch | 0

#473843 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:27

YDI for trying to find love online.

ReasonsToFly | 0

#474157 - Monday 10 August 2009 13:30

No, he deserved it for being stupid enough not to notice, unless they're extremely smart, the terrible grammar and spelling.

DogTechnique | 0

#474238 - Monday 10 August 2009 15:11

Have you seen how girls type these days? I doubt he'd be able to tell the difference.

lologirl419 | 0

#474288 - Monday 10 August 2009 15:49

Although I agree with that, that's a very stereotypical thing to say. Some girls can use grammar and spell things properly. And I am a girl, and I HATE tlkng 2 ppl wo typ lyk ths. It gives me a head rush.
Whoa sorry, this comment made me sound like some extreme feminist, which I'm not. Just making a point :P

pelican2 | 0

#474494 - Monday 10 August 2009 18:02

YDI for being fat

suaveneanderthal | 0

#474589 - Monday 10 August 2009 19:25

really you think that three 10 year olds had the sense to trick you?? unless you met all three of them and checked their birth certificates i would bet you any amount of money that all parties involved are over the age of 18. some people are fucking stupid come on OP if you got tricked into thinking it was a girl then what makes you think they would ever tell the truth about who they really were

hospital_party | 0

#474642 - Monday 10 August 2009 20:02

Agreed. How teenagers type these days is somewhat horrific. I refuse to talk to half my friends online because it's too obnoxious.

lologirl419 | 0

#475003 - Monday 10 August 2009 23:17

I KNOW that, it's just really irritating. T_T

Emilysia | 0

#475706 - Tuesday 11 August 2009 4:09

haven't you ever heard of a pathological liar? my brother is 7 years old and he's committed the same shit, and he has had girls fall for him :|

babaoriley_fml | 0

#489228 - Saturday 15 August 2009 19:45

#60, /b/rother, that would be rule #34 you speak of, not rule #33.

luvtheknot | 6

#1039698 - Tuesday 22 June 2010 23:07

Better 3 10 year olds than 1 30 year old wow lol jk don't take a hussy fit people

hazelkee | 0

#1041938 - Thursday 24 June 2010 22:53

I am a ten year old girl and I type well.

conversesk8er | 0

#1211565 - Monday 9 August 2010 13:39

42 - 10 year old girls are not terrible at grammar and spelling. When I was NINE I was in a school spelling bee with TONS of other girls

teddy4nyy | 13

#2373005 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 15:29

Hey #126, you forgot the comma.

fuckyalol | 0

#2652883 - Friday 10 June 2011 6:00

grammar is 4 bitches

changesinme | 0

#3310934 - Monday 19 September 2011 12:17

Play cool and say you're 3 10 year old girls who created a fake profile as well, you might just get away with it!

changesinme | 0

#3310941 - Monday 19 September 2011 12:24

Play cool and say you're 3 10 year old girls who created a fake profile as well, you might just get away with it!

SonyIsGod | 13

#5779105 - Thursday 5 December 2013 0:58

Hey, #65, nowhere in the FML does it say the OP is fat. The closest it gets is implying that the OP is desperate, which still has no direct correlation with obesity. I hereby invite you to dance in Times Square traffic. I will be there all day this Friday, and I'll wear a red shirt so you can identify me, but go ahead and start early if you cannot spot me at first.