Miscellaneous: Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook...

By pwndbykidz - Canada

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14725

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Miscellaneous

Rock, hard place

Jealousy

Billy no-mates

By KO - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39465

You deserved it

5098

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By Nate - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34662

You deserved it

59014

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By Username

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34762

You deserved it

6694

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By Triumvirate - United States

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12636

You deserved it

41963

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By brokedad - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58545

You deserved it

7343

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By MissNoFuture - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he's been having doubts, but he still wants to stay with me. I asked him why he had been so nervous about us and he replied, "I don't know, just thinking about a future with you makes me feel nauseous". We've been together over 2 years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35074

You deserved it

4025

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By rastafarimon - United States

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48014

You deserved it

8950

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By ShitFaced - United States

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26978

You deserved it

21508

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By sociallyawkward - United States - Atlanta

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12612

You deserved it

3458

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By Eh... - Ukraine

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53288

You deserved it

8015

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By synyster505 - United States

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13825

You deserved it

36501

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By toazt - United States

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37408

You deserved it

3483

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By Grandmas lost it - United States - Staten Island

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39656

You deserved it

3509

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By VelociTheRaptor

Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4132

You deserved it

749

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By natedudelol

#choices

Today, at the self-checkout, I didn't have enough money for honey, so I just walked out with it and ended up getting caught. Now I have to hold a sign in front of the store wearing a big bumblebee costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

891

You deserved it

8367

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By Brotherssuckkk - France

Today, my mom asked me to clean beneath my brother's bed for money. I found a rotten apple, a picture of my best friend, and a dead bird. I got $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33086

You deserved it

4787

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By americanized - Denmark

Today, I helped two people find the central station on my way home. As a thank you, they mugged me and stole my wallet and iPod Touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32925

You deserved it

4136

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By smh - United States

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50926

You deserved it

4273

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By steph - China

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27883

You deserved it

6632

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By Anonymous - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35559

You deserved it

18161

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By pancakessdsjsn - United States - Lake Forest

Today, while cleaning tables at the fast food place where I work, I had to remove two human teeth from a table top. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42372

You deserved it

3093

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By WTFisMyLife

Today, my boyfriend whipped out his proverbial notebook, where he obviously keeps notes of what I do and how I act during sex, and then grilled me about every single one of those things. Now I'm scared to do anything because I don't want to be interrogated about it later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2448

You deserved it

269

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39754

You deserved it

2144

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By unknown - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's whole family. Between them they had about 10 teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38116

You deserved it

5153

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By MsCobb - United States - Columbus

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37280

You deserved it

6131

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By Wreet - United States

Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7041

You deserved it

78347

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28767

You deserved it

6488

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By sad_panda - United States

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46132

You deserved it

6923

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By Whytetrash - Australia - Sydney

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45973

You deserved it

3209

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34478

You deserved it

2608

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By wtf - United States

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42765

You deserved it

3946

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By hylianprincess - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34628

You deserved it

3252

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By Anonymous - United States

Rollercoaster

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42558

You deserved it

3636

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By epicvixen - Canada - Richmond

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17745

You deserved it

27171

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By lisacasabonita - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

24096

You deserved it

42212

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By junior - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20212

You deserved it

46250

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By iamnotalawyer - United States - Glendale

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28455

You deserved it

4109

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By anon - United States

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27324

You deserved it

8819

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By bestiality? do I look like a pig? - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47119

You deserved it

18286

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By Unemployed - United States

Today, I checked my email for the hundredth time, hoping to hear back from a potential employer about a job I really want. No response. Why? My email with resume attached has been sitting in my Outbox for the past week. I never actually sent it out in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9876

You deserved it

39045

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Top comments

By xcgvx | 0

#473807 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:14

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

By iFRUiTTART | 0

#473799 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:12

LOL . YDI for not realizing they talked like 10 year olds , and for flirting only cuz she was hot . xD

COMMENTS

By Jordie210 | 0

#473782 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:09

baha YDI

Deathlyranch | 0

#473843 - Monday 10 August 2009 9:27

YDI for trying to find love online.

ReasonsToFly | 0

#474157 - Monday 10 August 2009 13:30

No, he deserved it for being stupid enough not to notice, unless they're extremely smart, the terrible grammar and spelling.

DogTechnique | 0

#474238 - Monday 10 August 2009 15:11

Have you seen how girls type these days? I doubt he'd be able to tell the difference.

lologirl419 | 0

#474288 - Monday 10 August 2009 15:49

Although I agree with that, that's a very stereotypical thing to say. Some girls can use grammar and spell things properly. And I am a girl, and I HATE tlkng 2 ppl wo typ lyk ths. It gives me a head rush.
Whoa sorry, this comment made me sound like some extreme feminist, which I'm not. Just making a point :P

pelican2 | 0

#474494 - Monday 10 August 2009 18:02

YDI for being fat

suaveneanderthal | 0

#474589 - Monday 10 August 2009 19:25

really you think that three 10 year olds had the sense to trick you?? unless you met all three of them and checked their birth certificates i would bet you any amount of money that all parties involved are over the age of 18. some people are fucking stupid come on OP if you got tricked into thinking it was a girl then what makes you think they would ever tell the truth about who they really were

hospital_party | 0

#474642 - Monday 10 August 2009 20:02

Agreed. How teenagers type these days is somewhat horrific. I refuse to talk to half my friends online because it's too obnoxious.

lologirl419 | 0

#475003 - Monday 10 August 2009 23:17

I KNOW that, it's just really irritating. T_T

Emilysia | 0

#475706 - Tuesday 11 August 2009 4:09

haven't you ever heard of a pathological liar? my brother is 7 years old and he's committed the same shit, and he has had girls fall for him :|

babaoriley_fml | 0

#489228 - Saturday 15 August 2009 19:45

#60, /b/rother, that would be rule #34 you speak of, not rule #33.

luvtheknot | 6

#1039698 - Tuesday 22 June 2010 23:07

Better 3 10 year olds than 1 30 year old wow lol jk don't take a hussy fit people

hazelkee | 0

#1041938 - Thursday 24 June 2010 22:53

I am a ten year old girl and I type well.

conversesk8er | 0

#1211565 - Monday 9 August 2010 13:39

42 - 10 year old girls are not terrible at grammar and spelling. When I was NINE I was in a school spelling bee with TONS of other girls

teddy4nyy | 13

#2373005 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 15:29

Hey #126, you forgot the comma.

fuckyalol | 0

#2652883 - Friday 10 June 2011 6:00

grammar is 4 bitches

changesinme | 0

#3310934 - Monday 19 September 2011 12:17

Play cool and say you're 3 10 year old girls who created a fake profile as well, you might just get away with it!

changesinme | 0

#3310941 - Monday 19 September 2011 12:24

Play cool and say you're 3 10 year old girls who created a fake profile as well, you might just get away with it!

SonyIsGod | 13

#5779105 - Thursday 5 December 2013 0:58

Hey, #65, nowhere in the FML does it say the OP is fat. The closest it gets is implying that the OP is desperate, which still has no direct correlation with obesity. I hereby invite you to dance in Times Square traffic. I will be there all day this Friday, and I'll wear a red shirt so you can identify me, but go ahead and start early if you cannot spot me at first.