Love: Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me,... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 06:38 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband never wanted to marry me, he only did because I wouldn't quit pestering him to propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 028

You deserved it 56 323

Hiding from the drama

Dementia or hate? You decide

Check that expiration date man, it's later than you think

It's called fashion Dave, look it up!

By Anonymous - 05/06/2020 17:00

Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 259

Not the sharpest tool

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 02:01

Today, it became apparent that my new boyfriend has the mental process where unless you give him specific instructions, he can’t do anything right. Such as when asking him to let the dog out, it won’t occur to him to let the dog back in until I get home. By then the dog had destroyed the garden out of boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 219

Repetitive

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 04:01

Today, my husband stormed out to the pub because he couldn’t stand listening to my mother droning on and on about the same stories she always tells and the programmes she watches everyday. He didn’t think of taking me with him, so I had to stay and listen to the boring old bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 677

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 22:08 - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 346

You deserved it 9 038

By Flora - 17/04/2013 22:56 - United States - Watsonville

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 572

You deserved it 3 284

By starving_freelancer_forever - 18/09/2017 16:00

Today, I found out the works council won't let the company offer me the job for which I was the only applicant because the council requires 3 years experience with the company. I've only been here for 2 years, 10 months, and 26 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 776

You deserved it 208

By StayedHome89 - 20/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 696

You deserved it 28 172

I am a lineman for the countyyyyyy…

By Anon - 13/03/2014 00:11 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 3 683

By Anonymous - 10/07/2016 16:33

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 379

You deserved it 921

Daily grind

By Anonymous - 19/08/2020 08:05

Today, over half of my coworkers have called out for various reasons and my manager is on her third week of vacation. My coworkers keep calling out. I'm the only closer. I just want a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 100

By rosecolas - 12/11/2016 13:36 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I was given a building key that students aren't supposed to have because they'll lose it. I told my coach I wouldn't lose the key. The same key disappeared not even 20 minutes later without a trace. I still can't find it, and it's been an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 022

You deserved it 3 651

By atsukobo - 23/02/2012 07:59 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 522

You deserved it 3 852

By jobless - 06/11/2014 02:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 966

You deserved it 3 217

By Suprise - 17/08/2013 04:38 - United States

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 999

You deserved it 8 904

Thanks, I hate it!

By thebabysitter - 14/08/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 880

You deserved it 5 336

By Anonymous - 30/06/2015 12:56 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 7 738

By kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office and as I entered the building my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 042

You deserved it 39 483

By nick - 18/05/2012 07:22 - United States

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 2 605

By joshua - 06/08/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 638

You deserved it 2 745

By rojin12 - 30/08/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 034

You deserved it 31 989

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 849

You deserved it 4 456

By THANKS4theINFO - 23/05/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 915

You deserved it 38 635

That's nice

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 18:01 - United States - Angier

Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 143

By lohandork - 22/05/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Roehampton

Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 145

You deserved it 11 072

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 18:21 - United States - Hollywood

Spicy

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 503

You deserved it 5 961

Landmine

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 00:30

Today, my sister told everyone she doesn't get mad at people anymore, and just accepts it. Today is also the day she folded laundry and threw my clothes around my room. Still not mad, just passive aggressive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 92

Bridezilla vs. the Coronavirus

By Unreasonable - 23/03/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I received a threatening DM from my so-called best friend, telling me that she wouldn't be calling off her wedding next week, despite everyone telling her to postpone due for health and safety reasons, and would claw my eyes out if I stayed in quarantine with my sick mum instead of coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 23:31 - United States - Annandale

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 568

You deserved it 17 693

By Jules - 15/09/2017 17:00

Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 299

You deserved it 270

By Veronica - 21/11/2014 20:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 4 770

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 815

You deserved it 5 879

By DerrickUhl - 19/06/2012 04:28 - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 715

You deserved it 6 905

By historyrepeats - 11/07/2019 04:00

Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 524

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 086

You deserved it 3 819

Do as you're told

By ugh1234 - 21/06/2021 02:01

Today, I was demoted at work to a much harder and more time-consuming position because, I quote, "You have more experience." My boss is now telling the others I volunteered to be moved to the lower position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 60

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 746

You deserved it 2 596

By Anonymous - 27/03/2018 22:00 - United States - Papillion

Spicy

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. He actually had the balls to say her leg was asleep and he was trying to wake it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 328

You deserved it 337

By NowBroke - 04/04/2016 09:38 - United Kingdom - Malmesbury

Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 509

You deserved it 1 822

By poorlyparented - 16/06/2015 12:05 - United States - San Antonio

Spicy

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 087

You deserved it 5 669

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 387

You deserved it 3 741

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Top comments

insanemistress 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:37

Well YDI for being pushy

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:59

And you thought it was ok for you to keep nagging him to propose to you while you were dating? Ugh! I know women like that.....the kind who believe that having a wedding ring on their finger is some sort of a life accomplishment so they keep hinting their boyfriends that they should get married.......they annoy me so much! How about having a bit of respect for yourself and value yourself as a woman, not as someone's wife! YDI.

Comments

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Tuesday 7 September 2010 9:02

Whar do ypu expect when he doesnt propose and only does it after you pester him? If he didnt ask, it meant he never wanted a union. How is it F YOUR life? It's eff HIS life.

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Tuesday 30 October 2012 12:41

* you *doesn't *didn't FHL because you're pushy. YDI

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:29

Well, wasn't that sort of the point?

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Saturday 12 December 2009 17:08

Oh I know that's right.

FoundManyLemons 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 23:55

Yeah, you got what you wanted, right?

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Monday 14 December 2009 21:21

He's spineless, she's a nag. They deserve each other.

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Tuesday 29 December 2009 5:09

Yeah, YDI. thats what you wanted, right?

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Tuesday 27 April 2010 17:45

yah y

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Tuesday 27 April 2010 17:46

yah you both deserve it him for not knowing how to say no and you for pesturing him to marry you.

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Thursday 5 August 2010 2:32

You really shouldn't have bugged him. If he wanted to marry you, he would have proposed. And he's an idiot for marrying you just cause you were annoying:/

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Sunday 17 April 2011 14:51

Please,inform me on how he is spineless for not wanting a pestering wife?

evilplatypus 38

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Sunday 28 April 2013 22:15

137 - He's spineless because he gave in.

totalFAILandYDI 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:29

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Thursday 6 October 2011 16:21

Fail

insanemistress 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:37

Well YDI for being pushy

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Saturday 28 January 2012 8:16

Yeah, if he wanted to propose to you, he would've done it. If he didn't propose to you, what does that tell you? He doesn't want to marry you yet or never does! You pestering him to propose just destroys the point of proposing and getting married.

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:38

pfft, women...always tryna trap a dude.

thatoneguyinca 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 19:06

Ugh, I agree. Damn women "what's next" "where is this going?" "how can I turn you into a puppy dog with no balls?" "if you don't marry me I'll find someone else" "I'll kill myself if you don't marry me" Do the world a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

cals 0

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Sunday 13 December 2009 3:47

i agree, and i'm a woman. of course, i see absolutely no appeal in marriage, but still. nag nag nag.

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:44

Do you not realise why? Stupid bint..

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:51

girls only love assholes. YDI

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Saturday 12 December 2009 15:09

He's not an asshole, he's an honest man who was bogged down by a needy girlfriend. He deserves it for not being man enough to say no, but she deserves it for being a needy bitch. If you wanted to marry him, YOU should have proposed.

ydi87 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 20:45

OP i dont get why you would post a fml on this, are you looking for sympathy? lol you are a needy bitch aren't ya?

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:57

If he wasn't actually proposing to you, doesn't that tell you something??

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Saturday 12 December 2009 12:59

And you thought it was ok for you to keep nagging him to propose to you while you were dating? Ugh! I know women like that.....the kind who believe that having a wedding ring on their finger is some sort of a life accomplishment so they keep hinting their boyfriends that they should get married.......they annoy me so much! How about having a bit of respect for yourself and value yourself as a woman, not as someone's wife! YDI.

lostfaithinpppl 19

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Saturday 12 December 2009 17:39

Well said. Quadruple YDI!!!

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Saturday 12 December 2009 13:13

You deserved it. Seriously, you should have kept your damn mouth shut and let him propose to you when he felt ready. You're just one of those annoying ass women who need a ring on their finger or they wont be happy. Well guess what.... he really didn't want to marry you. So YDI and then some.

ParaplegicPony 0

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Saturday 12 December 2009 18:36

It's either that or they probably got in a fight, he lied a bit and said I didn't even want to marry you, and she got all dramatic like most women do and came on FML and started searching for sympathy. So juvenile.

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 109

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 291